In Part one of our article we spoke about what to put on a profile about you and what to leave out.
Describing Your Ideal Date
Writing about yourself is actually the easy bit. At least you know who you are and what you’re like.
Writing about someone you’ve never met requires a whole new bag of skills.
The goal here is to come up with a description that does three things:
- Shows originality;
- Describe the person you’d like to meet;
- Invite anyone you might like to meet to send you an email.
Of these, the first is the least important and the last is the most important.
Lots of emails
When you first post your profile, you want to get as many emails as possible. If you find that you’re getting too many responses, then you can rewrite your description so that it’s a bit more selective. In practice if that happens, you’ll probably be too busy dating to bother looking at your profile again.
The best way to approach writing about your ideal date then is to forget about trying to picture your dream person and describing them. The fact is, your ideal person probably doesn’t exist but there are plenty of great people online any one of whom would make you extremely happy.
But how can you describe a whole bunch of real people you haven’t met? Clearly you can’t. And describing personality traits that you quite like is likely to be either too exclusive or too inclusive. Most people think of themselves as having integrity and compassion, and believe that they’re kind and considerate. Saying that you want someone who knows how to listen will cut your ideal person down to about… everyone.
Similarly, you might quite like the idea of settling down with someone who likes budgies as much as you do but it’s unlikely to be a deal-breaker and you could be just as happy with someone who doesn’t give a hang about birds.
Instead of trying to describe an imaginary person, it’s best to take a different tack: describe what you’d like that person to do for you or what you’d like to do with them:
My Ideal Partner:
My ideal partner would be smart, warm and witty, up for trips to the San Francisco Asian Art Museum and down with getting dirty on a muddy Sequoia trail. She’ll be happy to stay in and sip coffee, to cuddle up on the sofa with a good book or two and ready to try Yoga, strange types of massage and the kinds of mushrooms you only find in farmers’ markets.
The big idea then is to use the space given over to describing your ideal date to describe the things that you like to do. After all, ideally you’re looking for someone who’s prepared to share your life and fit in with your habits. You don’t really want to meet someone who hates everything you like and with whom you have nothing in common.
Again, being specific about what you want and what you like will let your personality shine through. It will show that you’re an interesting person and it will let a potential date picture you together doing fun, exciting things. A good Ideal Partner description should act like an open invitation to people who like the things that you like to write in and ask to join you.
In part 3 we’ll cover what things you should NEVER put in a profile and
Think About This!
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