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Run from any relationship that makes you question your sanity.

I talk to a LOT of Dating coaches.

Usually within about 5 minutes of looking at a dating coaches website or talking to them I can tell if they are authentic and care about their clients (Rather than seeing them a just dollars and cents!)

Meet Lisa Hayes (AKA the “Love Whisperer”)

She’s the genuine article…(to find out more about her CLICK HERE)

Talking to Lisa I immediately felt this authenticity and the care. When clients ask Lisa about finding love her response is:

“I know it’s hard to believe you can have the life and love of your dreams when you can’t remember what
those dreams even were.  However, you can.  You don’t have to know how.  You don’t even have to really believe it’s possible, because
I believe in you enough for both of us.”

Wisdom from Lisa
And Lisa has a successful marriage (An important quality in a “Love Whisperer” for sure) she met her husband on Match.com, so she knows it works.

Lisa says that “the single most important barometer of a healthy relationship is whether or not you like the person you become in it.”

A common question.

A question that I get asked a lot from Women is “how can I tell if a man really cares about me,” and as people show (or hide) their affection in so many different ways its often a difficult question to answer.

Expert Advice

When asked this question by a client of hers here is Lisa’s expert advice

Dear Lisa,

What I really want to know is how to tell if a man really cares about me. You’d think by this point in my life I’d have figured that one out, but it’s pretty clear, I’m not clear at all.  

I’m 38 years old and have never been married.  I’ve had three or four serious relationships and was even engaged once, but I called it off.  When it came right down to it I had to admit I didn’t think I was in love.  In fact, up until last summer I’m not sure if I ever had been.  Then last June I met Paul and I knew almost right away I was feeling what had been missing in every relationship before.

I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does.  We hit it off right away and he told me on our third date he felt like he was falling in love with me.  In some ways I’ve never been happier.  In others, I’ve never been more miserable.

Paul travels a lot for work.  In the last couple of months I’ve had some cause to think he might be seeing other women when he’s out of town.  Well, maybe I have reason to think that, I’m honestly not sure.  I sort of feel like I’m paranoid.  Although he tells me all the time he loves me, I’m seeing him less and less.  He missed my birthday and Valentine’s Day.  I think he was in town for both.  

A couple of weeks ago I jokingly brought up the possibility of moving in with him when my lease was up and I swear he acted like he didn’t even hear me.  Maybe he didn’t.  All I know is I’ve never been more in love, but I feel like he’s slowly pulling away and I don’t know what to do about it.

Please help.

Kara,Toledo

Dear Kara,

That’s a lot going on here.  However, a couple of things caught my attention.  First and foremost was your statement, “I’ve never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does.”  That my friend, is a slippery slope you’ve got yourself on.  No one, other than you, is responsible for making you feel anything.  Giving away that much power, is dangerous.  Paul cannot be the source of your happiness.  He simply can’t.  He really isn’t capable of filling you up emotionally.  That’s on you and you aren’t doing it.

Secondly,  the single most important barometer of a healthy relationship is whether or not you like the person you become in it. Your assessment that you might be paranoid is a pretty good indication you aren’t in a place where you trust yourself or like yourself.

I don’t know if Paul is seeing other women.  I don’t know if or why he’s pulling away.  I do know you aren’t happy in this relationship anymore.  I also know that love isn’t a feeling, it’s a behavior.  It’s pretty clear he isn’t behaving in a loving way, at least not consistently.  Missing your birthday says way more than him telling you he loves you.

The good news is you already do know how to tell if a guy cares about you.  You know this guy doesn’t care enough.  You already know it in your heart.  Do not walk away from this.  Run.  Run from any relationship that makes you question your sanity.  Run from any guy that doesn’t acknowledge your birthday or anyone you even think might be seeing other women.  I don’t care if he loves you or not.  You have to love yourself more than that.  It’s time for you to be the one pulling away.

Big hugs,
Lisa

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

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Giles

Giles

As the Former CEO of LookBetterOnline, Giles was responsible for making sure our customers get the first-rate service we promise. Giles was also responsible for recruiting and training photographers who are asked to join our growing network of outstanding photo service providers. Giles wass responsible for day-to-day operations and new business development at LookBetterOnline

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