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Dating in New York for Women

Dating in New York can be a challenge or an adventure!

An unfair advantage to NYC men

Men in the Big Apple have an advantage. There are more single women than single men in New York City, NYC guys have a little bit of arrogance when it comes to women, (If there are so many single women compared to single guys they are in no hurry to commit to any one woman and if they aren’t getting exactly what they want during a date they have no problem ending it fast…perhaps this is the reason why)

It’s been said that women in New York compromise what they really want in their man in order to have a dating life.

So what advice can we give Female New Yorkers to help them feel optimistic?

Popular dating Advice

I’ve heard it said that a good strategy for NYC women is to keep it casual and relaxed and make sure that a man interested in her understands that she is open dating other guys; this is supposed to give him the message that other men are also interested in her which validates his interest in her. Also it’s a strategy designed to get men to compete against each another when it comes to female attention…. (By telling him that there are other guys out there it will make him want to be the best man and try really hard. )

Bad Strategy

The problem with this strategy is that.

1. There are more women so the guy doesn’t have to work too hard.
2. It’s manipulative
3. We guys aren’t so smart so might just think you’re not interested in us

What can a woman in New York do?

I think that there are 3 winning strategies that a woman in New York can have:

1. You need great photos!
2. You need a good written profile
3. You need a dating strategy


1.You need great photos!

I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve met who think they have good dating photos but don’t;
As an expert on Dating Profile Photos I’ve looked at a ton of photos and spoken with thousands of people They ALL tell me that their photos are fine until I share with them what’s wrong and then they see exactly why they are failing miserably!

If you’re NOT getting the dates you deserve, are feeling lonely or are meeting the wrong sort of people – then you could have a “Dating Photo blind spot.” (Due to not posting a specific kind of photo.)

People blame dating websites for lack of matches, or worse end up feeling unattractive or unable to meet someone special and find lasting love, yet it doesn’t have be this way.

First impressions are important- and that’s especially true when you’re dating online…most people online won’t even look at a profile unless the pictures have won their attention.

You do this yourself. You put effort into thinking about what you want from a partner, understanding what you really want and make your online written profile as friendly, upbeat and interesting as possible… and what do you do when you reach a dating site?

You look first at the pictures.

When you’re browsing the dating search results, a picture is the first thing you see. And if you don’t immediately like what you see, it will be the last you see of that single.

Exactly the same thing is happening to you.

You might have a sparkling personality and interests that match exactly those of the person checking out your picture, but if your photos aren’t as impressive as your character, you won’t get any more than a glance at your page.

“Your photo is your ID. It’s the first thing people see before they start reading and digging in for all the juicy details.”
Ourtime.com

“If you don’t have a selection of great looking profile photos then it’s going to be much harder to get you the great results that you want. The bottom line is better photos get you better dates – with better people. Unappealing photos get unappealing dates – with unappealing people!
The Amazing Clarks” (Relationship Experts on the Dr. Drew TV show)

For further specific advice on Dating photos sign up for Dating Profile Photo secrets (on the homepage of www.lookbetteronline.com

2. You need a good written profile

Create a well written Profile and create more interest…so that people who like your photos will want to meet you. Many women make the fundamental mistake of writing way too much here! So don’t forget that the purpose of a profile is to get someone’s attention not give them your life history!

3. You need a dating strategy

With more women than men you need to have a strategy for the way that you date and the way you go on dates!
The good news is that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, there are Experts out there who can help you meet someone special

For New Yorkers I’d like you to meet one such expert, her name is Tracey Steinberg; She’s smart, authentic, easy to talk to and she’s a “Dateologist” who can help you with a winning strategy to find that someone special!

Tracey was voted one of the ten best dating experts in the world by DatingAdvice.com.

Helped a lot of people

Tracey has helped a lot of people feel more joy on a daily basis and find love.

She’s been featured on her own dating advice TV show (called “Dating Help 911) and well as  “On Air with Ryan Seacrest,” Fox News, CNN, HLN, TV Land, ABC News Radio, WNBC, WCBS, Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Men’s Health Magazine, Cosmopolitan Magazine, The New York Post and The New York Daily News. (To find more about Tracey click here )

Spotlight on Top Rhode Island Photographer Cregg

Meet Cregg

Cregg is a LookBetterOnline.com professional full-time photographer based in Rhode Island. He is frequently asked to photograph portraits and has produced many fantastic photos for members of online dating services. “Their new photos totally helped those clients get insane numbers of winks and emails,” he says.

Highly experienced, relaxed and knowledgeable

Cregg has been shooting for well over a decade and has a passion for headshots and wedding photography.

What’s also significant is that Cregg has also used online dating and knows the importance of great pictures. He’ll ask what look you would like for your photos and give his professional opinion about what he thinks would work well.
“I have a great sense of humor,” says Cregg. “We’ll soon be joking and laughing about all the people that you will have to reject once your incredible new photos go online.”

A Sense of who he is

Cregg is NOT the average photographer…he’s clearly a master at what he does. In Cregg’s Words:

“I love creating spectacular photos. With a desire and hunger for perfection, I think out of the box to create unique works of art. I want your photos to be the best people have ever seen.”

“I want your pictures to be a memory that will last long after the day has ended, and I want your breath to be taken away.”

“I want to give you pictures that will make you and your loved ones smile, laugh, and cry when they see them for the first time. Pictures that are creative, have incredible angles, interesting shadows and exquisite light & expression.”

What people are saying about Cregg

“Cregg was highly professional and provided the best customer service I’ve ever recieved. Along with his exceptional talent to find just the right lighting and perfect angles, he had the outstanding patience to make sure I was completely comfortable for every picture as well. Highly recommended.”-Kang

“The care and time Cregg spent on my shoot was TOP NOTCH! Bar none! I had a really great time working with him, and for what I got, I can’t believe that it only cost me what it did! He provides an EXCELLENT service, and I cant wait to work with him again.”-
Adonya

 

To book your own photo-session with Cregg CLICK HERE

Interview with Top Dating Coach Karenna Alexander

I’m a believer

I’m a believer that to be successful with online dating that there are 3 simple steps to vastly improve your chance of success.

Step 1. Get great Photos…Otherwise No one will read your profile.

Step 2. Create a well written Profile and create more interest…so that people who like your photos will want to meet you.

Step 3. Have a strategy for dates and dating

So the first steps (getting great Photos and a well written profile) will improve the amount of people that you can date online, but you also need a strategy to enjoy the process of dating!

Dating Coaches

This is where dating coaches are of immense value, we have coaches for sports and business and life…so why not hire a coach who has experience in helping you find someone special!

Meet Coach Karenna

I recently had the opportunity to speak with Dating Coach Karenna Alexander,

Karenna became a coach more than 10 years ago when she was trained by the authors of The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for For Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider; In Karenna’s words:

“They wrote a book that really respects the differences between men and women, and it totally struck a nerve with me and many other women. I wanted to know everything I could, so I took their course and wanted to share everything I know. It’s like a secret formula that works wonders.”

Karenna loves helping women date better and with self-esteem. This is her passion – she also told me:

“I do this 24 hours a day and not get bored. After learning these dating rules, my life totally changed. I weeded out timewasters and have better relationships, and I’m so happy to share what I learned

To find out more about Karenna click here

Questions for a Dating coach with over a decade of experience

I asked Karenna a couple of questions recently, Here are her expert answers:

Giles (LookBetterOnline.com): Any advice for single ladies over 40?

Karenna: Make sure you get out there, date online and go to events where you will meet single men. It’s harder to meet men naturally as you get older, so you have to go to singles venues and date online. You just have to be in it to win it and dating online is a big part of that these days.

Also, at this age, some women have seen their fair share of heartbreak and they become more guarded and even resigned to living alone. But I tell women not to give up. It only takes one. If you follow The Rules way of dating, which allows you to focus only on the guys who want you, you don’t waste time.

Giles (LookBetterOnline.com): What do most online daters don’t know that prevents them finding love online?

Karenna:Many online daters give up too soon. Some try it for a month and after a few bad dates, they shut down their account, thinking “Oh well, I gave it a shot. It doesn’t work.”
Some people meet the right one right away, but for others, it takes longer. Another important thing to remember about online dating is that initially your profile – and a big part of that is your photos –  is all the other person has to go on. So don’t be careless about your photo. You need a few really good ones ( a face and a body shot). I always recommend that my clients go to a professional photographer for photos. It’s worth it.

More advice on photos

Did you know that Dating giants OK Cupid/Match.com examined 11.4 million photos and found that people who post a certain
type of dating photo get 2-4 times better results?

LEARN what 95% of people DONT know about their Dating Photos that is often stopping them from meeting someone special Click here (And then scroll down the page to see DATING PROFILE PHOTO SECRETS)

kirsten

Don’t take Online Dating too seriously

Don’t lose the fun

I agree that it’s important to find someone special to spend your time with.But waaaaay to often I see people who are so serious about online dating that the fun of it has gone!

In the spirit of light-heartedness

Sometimes you just have to laugh about online dating, here is an image and a few lines to hopefully make you laugh and see the lighter side of life…enjoy!

Interview with Top San Antonio Photographer Karl

Meet Karl

Karl’s been on our talented team of photographers for a while now.

Over a decade of experience

Karl has been a photographer for over a decade and is clearly a master at what he does.
I’m always curious to ask “seasoned professionals” a few questions and I thought his answers would give you an idea of who he is and how he can help you get the profile photos you deserve. I’ve included some of his masterful photos too!

What do you love about photography?

Karl:
I love the magic! There is something special about stopping that moment in time.  When I started in photography we were shooting film. I was in awe when in the darkroom I could see that image come to life after coming out of that magic box.  I had the power to preserve time for myself and for others.

Can you share a personal detail that you feel comfortable with?

Karl:
When I was in school I found solace in being able to capture my classmates on film.  When I could then put them in the yearbook, I gained some semblance of popularity.

Anything that you tell customers prior to a shoot/any tips/secrets to share with customers?

Karl:
Relax, have fun!  The idea behind a portrait session is to be yourself, but with a twist.  We will work with you to create the you that is really inside.  Most often when we are photographed we are not relaxed and comfortable.  It is because we are thinking about it too much.

What I like to do is just have a nice conversation with you. Get to know you as a person. We will take photographs during this time. You may find that as the time goes by you loosen up and we have a nice casual session.  This will result in great images!

The day of your session, don’t rush!  Make it a you day. If you are calm and relaxed at the time of the shoot , the end results will be better. Pamper yourself! Have Fun!

To book your own photo-session with Karl CLICK HERE

Book a Session with Karl

To book your own photo-session with Karl CLICK HERE

Men without shirts in dating photos?

It starts with a question from an expert

I wanted to create this post to answer a question for a new friend of mine (Dating expert Karenna Alexander) for those of you who don’t know her check out her website at http://www.karennaalexander.com/

We spent yesterday discussing the value of outstanding dating photos and she asked me:

“I think it would be great to get your perspective on men without shirts in photos because women are always complaining to me about it. They dislike men who post photos online of themselves without their shirts. It drives most of the women I coach crazy. They think it’s too much too soon. Plus, a lot of the guys are out of shape. Do you have any thoughts on that whole aspect of online dating? I think my readers would love to know what you think because not only are you a guy but you have photo expertise.”

If you’re in your 20’s please stop reading

Along with lookBetterOnline.com and other dating website, online dating giants OK cupid have done a LOT of research about dating photos.

I came across a very well written article online by OK Cupid called “The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures” and it interested me greatly as the author had diligently looked at 7000 dating photos, analyzed much data, and seemed to find that it was a good idea for guys to remove their shirts for online dating photos

Many people copied this article without reading it properly…But let’s be clear that they got this data mainly from people in their 20’s

Pretending you’re 20 when you’re 30 ,40, or 50 doesn’t work!

So remember that there’s a world of difference between dating in your twenties and thirties, forties and fifties!

To read further on my analysis of this article Click here

Just for fun

I thought it might be fun to google “Guys without shirts in dating photos” and then give you the first 10 random opinions I find out there! So here goes:

Guys without shirts dating advice 001

 

…guys, KEEP YOUR SHIRTS ON!!!!!! You make my eyes burn!

…Doubt I’d ever go out with one of those peacocks.

…DON’T F***ing DO IT!!!!!! This is probably the worst idea ever! Sure you may look like Vin Diesel or Brad Pitt or any other superstar that gets women moist, but I assure you this will get you very little on the site. I can’t tell you how many women have said this is a complete turnoff to them and makes you look like a giant bag of douche! If you absolutely want to show yourself off (I’m in great shape myself and like to show it off) try to make a picture where maybe you’re at the beach or something with some friends. You get the goal of what you’re aiming for and you don’t look like a jackass!

…Angel thinks they still coloring in color books, still on first page of Dick & Jane, Operating a fisher price camera and cant dress oneself…that’s what I think..

…Dudes, these are the kind of photos NOT to post on an online dating site.

…9 times out of 10, we laugh at shirtless pictures.  Think carefully before you include one.

…Let’s at least give the boys without their shirts points for full disclosure/transparency, but sometimes it’s these photos that can be the reason I move on to the next profile.

…Make us shudder and be so thankful we are single.

…The thing I dislike the most is a guy’s picture without a shirt

…But if your favorite pics are of a shirtless you, it’s a no from me

Shirtless Guys-An easy target

I enjoyed reading these comments, they made me laugh and it’s easy to make fun of guys who post shirtless photos.
But the real reasons that I think shirtless photos are for the following reasons

1. They show a lack of understanding of appropriateness in social settings

2. It’s NOT just about the numbers…even if shirtless photos got results (And they don’t) it’s NOT just the number of people you attract online but also the QUALITY of people you attract, and so far any of the women I’d like to spend time with would move on to the next profile

In Summary

I agree wholeheartedly with Karenna’s comment of “Too much too soon”

Do you know the data behind dating photos?

Did you know that Dating giants OK Cupid/Match.com examined 11.4 million photos and found that people who post a certain
type of dating photo get 2-4 times better results?

LEARN what 95% of people DONT know about their Dating Photos that is often stopping them from meeting someone special Click here (And then scroll down the page to see DATING PROFILE PHOTO SECRETS)

kirsten

Spotlight on Top Miami Beach Photographer Susan

Highly experienced & Passionate about Photography

Susan has been shooting for about fourteen years and discovered her passion in headshots, when I asked her why she loves portrait photography she told me:

“What I love most about portrait photography is seeing the reaction on people’s faces when they see their photos and are thrilled with the images. Right from the start I always hear, I’m just not photogenic. I never take a good photo, never. Everyone says it. I always smile and think well that’s about to change. There’s always something wonderful that happens when I look through the lens, it’s perfect. I see the perfect shot. And, people are pretty much amazed at their results”

The ability to help people relax

This isn’t a skill that every photographer has, Susan has the ability to connect with people, get them outstanding profile photos and help them enjoy the process; Here’s what she says about helping people relax

“I chat them up right away reminding them that we’re there to have fun. In no time we’re laughing and having a great time. We talk about the photos we see on the various dating websites and they always say they would like something not at all like that but more natural looking and not so posed. So I ask them to step out of their comfort zone and try something new and remind them that if they don’t like it, they don’t have to pick it as we’re going to be shooting a bunch more.”

When I look through the lens, I see beauty,” she says. “Now when I look at a person, I start taking pictures in my head and know just how to bring out the best in anyone.”

Advice for people thinking about booking a session

In Susan’s words:

“Just do it! Miami was voted the city with the most beautiful people. This is not your mom or your best buddy taking a couple of snapshots of you and hoping to get something you might be able to “live with” this is so much more.  We are trained to capture your best features and know the best way to accomplish that. We plan everything in advance so we get the shots you want that have that “WOW” factor. Your job is to bring your best smile.

We are going to have tons of fun, laughs and get some great photos of you in the process”


To book your own photo-session with Susan
CLICK HERE

5 Practical dating tips

1. Don’t spend too much time on the phone before a date.

A brief, 5- to 10-minute conversation is enough to get a feeling of who they are and pave the way to a comfortable first date. Long conversations can create a lot of expectations and tension that can spoil a first date…Remember to let things unfold naturally

2. Appetizers or a drink NOT dinner.

Much less pressure.

3. Dress appropriately

Something that you feel comfortable and confident in as the last thing you want on a first is to worry about how you look.

4. Phone OFF

Unless you have kids then turn it OFF!

5. Don’t set your expectations too high.

Chill out and let things unfold naturally Simply go to your date with the idea to have fun and get to know the other person, instead of seeing whether they are “The One”

Do you know the data behind dating photos?

Did you know that Dating giants OK Cupid/Match.com examined 11.4 million photos and found that people who post a certain
type of dating photo get 2-4 times better results?

LEARN what 95% of people DONT know about their Dating Photos that is often stopping them from meeting someone special Click here (And then scroll down the page to see DATING PROFILE PHOTO SECRETS)

kirsten

Spotlight on Top Fort Collins Photographer Richard

Meet Richard

I’m glad that Richard’s on my team of hand-picked photographer every time I look at his photos! He’s definitely one of the most creative photographers who’s mastered more styles of photography than anyone else I know.

Now native to Colorado, Richard was born and raised to first generation Italians in Brooklyn, New York. Along with photography he loves family, wonderful friends, natural and organic foods, great wines and he’s an avid cook too!

So how does Richard create amazing photos of the highest quality and style? The answer is a combination of passion and experience! (He’s spent literally thousands of hours behind a camera!)

Highly experienced with the gift of Connection!

There are few photographers with Richard’s photo experience! One of the reasons I think Richard takes such breathtaking photos is that he has the abiluty to really connect with people; In Richard’s words:

“Befriend each person. Respect each person’s place in their process because it can be incredibly difficult to put oneself out in this manner. Understanding vulnerabilities is important!

Richard’s  Outstanding photos

To book your own photo-session with Richard CLICK HERE

3 Tips on how to “Break the Ice” on a first date, and have way more fun.

1. Pick the right location!

Choose a date that can create easy conversation. Going to the Movies is not necessarily the best choice because most of the date is spent in silence! If your date likes going to galleries or a museum or even a sporting event then these kinds of dates make for easy conversation.

2. Ask good questions

Ask your date questions and show an interest, (And Don’t to get too personal too)

3. Chill out and make peace with Silence

When you are nervous, you tend to create small talk!
Small talk might help pass the time, but it won’t help you really get to know your, let go of the need to constantly talk, and sit comfortably in a natural silence. Chilling out when you date will also help them feel more comfortable too! And you’ll stand a better chance of finding out – remember that it’s not a race to get to know people and let things unfold naturally.

4. Help your date

During your time dating, you’re likely to find yourself on a date with someone who is more nervous than you. Know that this is normal and gently help them to relax and enjoy your date.

Do you know the data behind dating photos?

Did you know that Dating giants OK Cupid/Match.com examined 11.4 million photos and found that people who post a certain
type of dating photo get 2-4 times better results?

LEARN what 95% of people DONT know about their Dating Photos that is often stopping them from meeting someone special Click here (And then scroll down the page to see DATING PROFILE PHOTO SECRETS)

kirsten