If you’ve spent time on any dating site, you know that after a while, all the profiles start to look and sound the same. Everyone is “loyal,” “passionate,” “honest,” “down-to-earth”… blah, blah, blah.
In this series of articles, we’re going to talk about your online dating profile and explain what you should or should not write in it.
Assuming that you’ve posted good enough online dating photos to attract attention, people will read your profile so you’ll need to have an exciting start. You’ll need to avoid the clichés that make other daters click “next” faster than the speed of light. You’ll need to stay positive and you’ll need to avoid repeating information already on the page.
Here are some real examples of how NOT to start your profile. It really didn’t take long to pluck them off a dating site:
Openings to Make You Yawn
It’s not these these are bad starts or dishonest ones. They’re just dull and say nothing about any of the interesting things that make the person behind them unique:
- I am a nice person with a great sense of humor. I love to spend time with my friends and family.
- I’m looking for an honest, kind, loving person, the girl next door type, a best friend and a lover.
- I am a simple guy that just wants to find that someone who compliments me.
- I am an honest, loyal, caring and sincere person.
- I am a pretty simple person.
- Hi I’m a hard working man, that works to much.
- I would describe myself as easy going, reliable, and honest.
- I’m easy going, laid back, and love life.
- I am committed to living life to the fullest.
Openings that Just Say No
Negativity doesn’t just bring you down. It also brings down the people you’re with. Who’s going to want to be with a person who starts a profile like this?
- Disclaimer alert: If you are the type of person that believes not answering a persons email is the way to tell them you’ve changed your mind, then PLEASE move on!
- I’M NOT INTO GAMES OR DRAMA
- OK. I’m starting to lose faith in this online stuff.
Openings We’ve Seen Before
Sometimes a cliche can be the quickest way to get across a point. Usually though, it just says that this person has no original thoughts:
- If your looking for a man that works hard and plays hard with a good family outlook thats me
- I am looking for a partner, my new best friend
- I am looking for a woman who can live life to its fullest.
- I live life to the fullest! Work hard and play even harder!
- Just looking to meet some fun people to hang out with and see where it goes.
- Where to begin…… I’m tall, dark and handsome
Openings That Are Really Complaints
People come to dating sites to be happy. That isn’t going to happen if they hitch themselves to someone who’s always complaining about dating sites… like these people:
- I think describing oneself is (or at least should be) an almost impossible task, but..
- Oh common, how the heck are you supposed to be able to describe all of your attributes with only space enough for 3500 characters or so?!
- Where do I start this type of thing is so not me
- This is the hard part for sure…I never know what to say about myself.
- Ok, I would much rather talk in person, but here goes.
- It is hard to describe one self in a few words because we keep learn evolve and change
- In this box I am supposed to give a short description of myself and state what I am looking for. I thought this would be quite simple but as I am finding out it is not as easy as I thought.
- I just can’t write this sort of thing. It sounds so pathetic
- So I have to ask myself, “what should I write here?” What do you want to know about me?
- PREAMBLE: Wow, I can’t believe I have to lead with this, but I guess I do…Please do not judge me for never having been married.
- Writing “about me” is not easy. But here goes:
- It’s difficult to really cover all the facets in someones personality in one paragraph
- My cousin talked me into doing this
- I am filling this in because I have to, I will update it at a later time when I can really describe what my ideal match is.
- How do you describe yourself without sounding like a used car salesman
Openings That Just Don’t Open!
You’ve got a sentence, maybe two, to grab a reader’s attention and pull them in. Don’t waste that space… like these people did. Get straight to the point!
- So here goes.
- Ok well a little about me?
- Hello there and thanks for taking the time to view my profile.
- Never tried this before but I figured why not?
- I’m single and looking
- I’ll make it short and sweet.
Openings We Know
The description isn’t the only place we learn about people. There’s a whole bunch of facts and figures in the check-box section, and they don’t have to be repeated:
- I am a guy 38 years old
- I am about 6 feet 3 inches tall
- Me: I am 40, never married(red flag!)
Openings We’d Rather Not Know
Sometimes you can come across an opening that has you raising your eyebrows, shaking your head, and searching for the “next” link all at the same time:
- This is my friend’s old profile. I’m just using this until I can add my own text later.
- PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED IF I LOOK AT YOUR PROFILE! It generally means I’m at least interested in what you have to say 🙂
- Ive been told that my best feature is my butt
- **DISCLAIMER** I have tattoos
- I am the real deal
- Have not dated much my entire life and hope this works!
- 2011 Update: After about six months off of Match, as I dated a wonderful woman I met here, I considered changing my original profile.
- I HAVE NOT JOINED THIS SITE YET!!..THUS, I CANNOT READ ANY MESSAGES SENT TO ME!
- ****Update**** Had my profile off for a long time and since then have sold Cool Change and bought a nicer boat.
- ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** —– CAUTION REQUIRED —– ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** (Reading this profile may cause anxiety, uncontrollable excitement, dizziness…)
- I’m not a paying customer but I’ve been browsing the site a little bit
Since so many people use one of the above openings, you’ll have a real advantage just by starting with something more original. Here are some ideas:
Dip into your past.
Where you’ve been helped put you where you are now. It’s a great way to build pictures and show humor.
“My Grandpa used to take me on the lake when I was a kid. He taught me so many things on those trips… like not to pee in the water when Grandpa’s trying to fish.”
Rock your world.
Everyone has something that makes them smile. You can’t ask for a more positive start than the thing that makes you happiest.
“I love techno music. It always makes me break out in wild, arm-thrashing dancing… even when I’m squeezed between two oversized commuters on the MUNI.”
Pick an Activity
What you do says much about who are. Choose an activity that you enjoy at the weekends, and start with action.
“I’m a keen Frisbee golf player. It involves throwing a set of discs around a special course. And running away before the golfers catch us.”
Start with Your Job
Yes, you can even talk about work… as long as you do it with enough flair to keep things interesting.
“I’m a systems analyst. If your system breaks down, I’ll always be willing to come around, analyze it and say that you need to format your hard drive.”
Start With a Quote
And if all else fails, you can always steal someone else’s idea. There are enough quotations out there to sum up anyone’s feelings:
“‘Life is supposed to be fun!’ That’s what Abraham-hicks said, and that’s how I live.”
Of course, to make any opening work, people have to see it. They’re only going to do that if your photo hits the spot. Pick up new, natural looking online dating photos today from LookBetterOnline, and if you need help writing your profile be sure to check out our profile review and writing services.
How do you start your profile?