Long boring emails
Three-word emails cluttering up your inbox might be infuriating, but at least they don’t take long to read. If they’re not the kind of thing that’s likely to get you writing back, you can give them a quick glance and knock them straight out of your inbox.
Emails that seem to last forever are a whole different game. They take ages to read. They contain all sorts of uninteresting information and they describe every little detail of the writer’s life from their love of overripe cheese to how they supercharged their car using nothing more than empty toilet rolls and spit—complete with blueprints, sketches and diagrams
What you’ll rarely find in emails like these is any sign of you. They’ll be all about the writer—and about all of the writer—and pretty much ignore you and your interests.
If an email like that sounds dull to read, just imagine how the date would be.
For two hours, you can expect nothing more than a monotonous monologue that demands that you pay your full attention… and get just about nothing in return.
Of course, if you have the time to read emails that are the length of a short book—and you don’t mind doing it—then you can still look at the profile and see if you think the face outweighs the risk of being bored. They’ve got to be pretty good-looking though to make it worth your while. Long, boring first emails do show that your possible partner-to-be is interested—but mostly in themselves.
If you have a good enough profile, with great pictures and a well-written description, there’s a good chance that you still won’t have enough time to write back to everyone who drops you a line. Many dating sites allow you send automated messages to anyone who writes to you. If you see that you’re getting far too many emails to answer, make sure that everyone who writes gets an automated message back saying that you’re away from the site for a few days but you’ll answer as soon as you can.
Sure, it’s not exactly the truth. But it’s a lot better than saying “You’re one of hundreds who have written to me. If I think you’re attractive enough, I’ll drop you a line. If you don’t hear from me, don’t feel bad.”
The chances are, if you don’t write back in a few days they’ll already have moved on and will assume that you have too. In the meantime, you’ll have kept your options open without actually handing out a rejection that you might later regret.
How you choose who to wrote to will depend of course on what you’re looking for. In general though, you can expect to cut out people who use canned emails, who ask for personal information and who don’t seem to want to spend the time to develop even a short online relationship before taking it out to the real world
Off the Internet, we often find ourselves slapping our foreheads as we make our lonely way home from bars and parties thinking, ‘Why didn’t I say that?!” or “Why didn’t I make my move when I had the chance?”
On the Web, you’ve got the time to think of the right thing to say. You’ve got models you can use to create the kind of approaches that invite responses and get relationships rolling.
But it doesn’t matter how great your first email. It doesn’t matter whether you ask a perfect question that the person you’re writing to will barely be able to resist answering or whether you capture their attention with a truly original letter
The first thing someone’s going to do when they get your email is check your profile.
The fact is, in the end, everything comes down to the profile. If your picture still isn’t professional, if your descriptions are dull, colorless and un-enticing, then it’s still pretty unlikely that you’re going to get a response no matter what you write in the letter.
Your profile is always the most important part of the online dating process…
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