Writing a first email to someone with an interesting profile is dead easy. Follow either of the models we’ve supplied in our last article CLICK HERE, back it up with a well-written profile with an excellent picture, and you should get a positive response.
A few things you should NEVER say!
There are a few things that you should never say in a first email though.
First of all, never ask for personal details in a first email. That will automatically raise a red flag and toss you out of the game. You wouldn’t expect to walk up to someone in a bar and get a phone number right at the start of a conversation—and you won’t get it right at the beginning of an email conversation either.
At some point, when you’re both feeling comfortable, when you’ve sounded each other out and decided that you have enough in common to make meeting up worth the time, you can exchange details or at the very least arrange to meet in public.
But that kind of trust takes a little bit of time to develop. It certainly won’t come with your first email
Similarly, you shouldn’t ask for a date in your first email.
The goal of your first message is simply to make contact, to persuade someone to look at your profile and write back with questions of their own. It’s a chance to get a feel for each other’s personality, to begin to see how compatible you are and to decide if you want to meet in the flesh and check out the chemistry. That doesn’t usually require a huge amount of time. A handful of emails zipping back and forth is often enough for you to figure out whether you find each other interesting enough to take it further. Ask for a date right at the beginning though and the answer is most likely to be a big fat no
Chat up lines
And finally, steer clear of corny chat-up lines.
Chat-up lines tend to have pretty limited success offline. Online they’re completely unnecessary. One of the biggest advantages of dating across the Web is that you get the time to think up something smart and witty to say. You don’t need to churn out some old cliché quick before your intended target leaves.
Online, chat-up lines just make you look a bit sleazy. Actually, they pretty much do the same offline too.
How To Reply When You’re In Demand
When you have a great profile with a professional picture and solid, original descriptions, there’s a good chance that you’re going to get a lot of emails. In fact, it’s not uncommon to find that your inbox picks up several hundred emails in the first few days.
That’s a good response and it gives you wide range of possible dates to choose from. The chances that not one of the emails that you receive is a good prospect to get to know a little better is pretty small. (And if you can’t find anyone out of several hundred applicants, it’s more likely that your criteria are too strict than that there’s no one on the site worth meeting.)
Obviously though, you won’t be able to write back to everyone so you’ll have to make selection. Not everyone writes a perfect first email, just as very few people produce the kind of outstanding profiles they really need to get results. Many, if not most, of the emails you receive will say far more about the person doing the writing than the writer
Get more tips in our next post How to write a first message that gets results (Part 3)
Think About This!
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