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Making Your Date Work

Once your profile has done its bit, the emails have been exchanged and the interest sparked, the next step is almost scripted: dinner, candlelight… and an awkward conversation with a complete stranger.

While dinner dates are standard, they’re actually a pretty awful way for two people to get to know each other. Look back at your most successful relationships and you’ll probably find that very few of them involved getting to know someone over soup and wine. You might have worked together on projects or met through a common interest or a mutual mate. It was the friendship that turned into a relationship rather than an attempt to start a relationship with someone who was not yet even a friend.

And that’s the key to making a date work.

Forget about using a date to kickstart a new relationship. Don’t even think of it as a way to find out how much you have in common.

Think of it instead as a way to figure out whether you have the sort of chemistry that makes beautiful friendships. If that chemistry is there, if you laugh at each other’s jokes and enjoy the conversation, the rest could well follow.

The way to look for that chemistry is to keep the date informal. Romantic dinners bring too much pressure, but a daytime coffee and cake can be a much better way to let the chat flow easily, without wishing you were at home with your favorite TV show and a mug of cocoa.

And doing things together is a much more natural first step than a face-to-face interview. Trips to museums, street fairs and galleries will give you something to talk about if the conversation dries up, and are much more likely to make your time together memorable.

The best approach is to invite your date to join you in an activity you wanted to do anyway. If you’re planning to visit the farmers’ market on Sunday, then meeting someone there will add a bonus to your tomatoes and cucumbers.

And if the date doesn’t work, at least your salad will.

And remember that having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

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Dean Shanson

Dean Shanson

Dean Shanson is a New York Times best-selling ghostwriter who specializes in online dating. He has written dozens of articles about relationships, asked Mars/Venus author, John Gray, how his ideas apply to cyberdaters, discussed online dating with Kosher Sex author, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, and been called “a brilliant dog!” by Elle magazine’s advice columnist, E. Jean Carroll. He has also helped more than 500 online singles produce dating site profiles that are humorous, interesting, persuasive and appealing. Dean is committed to helping serious online loveseekers find the life-partners they’re looking for. His experience, objectivity and eye for detail can turn any profile into an engaging text that turns your best qualities into fantastic, lifetime opportunities.

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