Let’s talk about sex
Here’s what Bobbi has to say about sex…
The idea of sex in your 40s, 50s and beyond can make a gal run for the hills. You crave intimacy, but the last thing you want is to sleep with him and get hung up like an 18 year old. There is also that body image thing, that disease thing…lots of concerns that can drive you to simply opting-out of dating and looking for love.
As a dating and relationship coach for single women over 40, I often get asked to help my clients decide when they can safely slide between the sheets. Here are 5 tips to help you retain your honor and self respect, yet have a nice time dating and getting to know those fabulous men out there.
Accept that you are responsible for yourself.
You are a mature woman who most likely steers your own ship in all other areas of your life. He isn’t in charge of what you do and when you do it; you are, sister.
You can weigh options, make complex decisions and exercise your assertiveness. You probably do this every day with your career, your family, even with the dry cleaner; dealing with single men should be no exception.
Set your intentions and stick with them.
Set your intention and stick with it.
What do you want from a man and a relationship? Do you want a rollicking roll in the hay or a lifelong relationship? Decide what your goal is and work toward it, just like you do with everything else in life.
Lay off the liquor.
Think back to when you would frequent bars or college parties. Alcohol doesn’t make you more attractive or charming, and it doesn’t ease the pain the morning after when you realize you made a terrible decision.
Play it smart and stay sober. Stick with a glass of wine with dinner and leave the shot glasses on the bar.
Decide whether he’s a hottie or a hubby.
If you’re looking for someone who’s going to be with you for the long haul, understand that a man who is a good date will not necessarily be a good partner. He may be chock-full of charm and make your stomach somersault, but he may still lack relationship potential.
When you’re feeling that flutter, stop and ask yourself: does he have potential to be the man I adore, admire and depend on? If the answer is “no, he’s just hot” then apply the brakes. Sleeping with this man could lead to disaster.
Learn a Love Lesson from the Dalai Lama
In The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living, the Dalai Lama ponders pleasure versus happiness. He reminds us that pleasure feels good at the moment; happiness fulfills you for the long-term.
When you are considering intimacy, take a breath, separate yourself from the immediacy of the moment, and ask, “Will this make me feel good about myself and get me closer to my goal of finding love?”
Partaking in physical pleasure is a wonderful part of a powerful, loving relationship. With a little healthy lust and a lot of sensibility and self-awareness, you can have a vigorous, fun and satisfying sex life that leads you to the happiness you deserve.
If you want to find that man who loves and adores you for the rest of your life, join Bobbi for her Grownup Girls’ Night Out FREE monthly webcasts. Get a ton of expert, juicy, must-have information and advice about men, dating, sex and relationships…all free and from the comfort of your own home. Click here to learn more and register.
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