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Got attitude?

If you are single and looking for a partner, you probably have attitude, but what is it? Are you positive, optimistic, and sure of a good result? Or are you jaded or self-protective? Frightened? Is “scared to death” too strong?

What you want, a plan to get there, and an attitude to match is vital for partnering success. Think about it: if you are sure that what you are doing won’t work, chances are very good that you will be right.

It’s like planning a trip to where you really don’t want to go, but it is the only route you know. Who wants to spend their vacation in the city dump? That’s just what you are deciding to do if you are saying things to yourself like “There are no good men out there,” or “Women are just looking for a fat wallet,” or “It’s not going to work, so why try?” You can be sure with those kinds of attitudes, you won’t find any good men, or will just find gold-digging women, or you won’t get anywhere at all.

Do you know how, when you suddenly become interested in something, you start noticing it everywhere? A few months ago, I got a sudden inspiration that I wanted a white convertible, right out of the blue. And then I started noticing convertibles. Never knew that there were so many of them around, but then again, I hadn’t been looking before. It’s the same way with those PT Cruisers — I think they are as cute as a button, and I notice them. I do not notice Cadillac’s or Chevrolets or BMW’s.

That’s the way it works with attitude and dating. You get a “destination” in your mind, where you are heading, and then, both consciously and unconsciously, you notice things and make choices that get you there. So it is very important, if you want success, to have success as your destination.

I am convinced, that for everyone who wants one, there is a perfect mate Out There. And, if you are looking, it is crucial for you to believe that too.

The question is where this person is, finding him or her, and how long it will take. Those are the real questions.

So can you believe? Can you adopt an attitude of bemused curiosity? Of wondering who your sweetheart will be and when and where he or she will manifest themselves? Of readying your life to accommodate sharing with another? Of hopeful expectancy? Of an opening to possibility and an acceptance of what is to come?

Just try your own Attitude Adjustment and see what happens.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

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Kathryn B. Lord c. 2003 All Rights Reserved

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Kathryn Lord

Kathryn Lord

I'm Kathryn Lord, Your Romance Coach. For years, I worked with singles and couples in my psychotherapy practice, helping them figure out how to find mates and build good, solid relationships. When I found myself single again in the mid-1990's, I hadn't dated in way too long. But the Internet was evolving and online dating sites just getting started, so I took what I knew from helping others and learned how to use cyberspace to do a mate search for myself. And by God, it worked: In May, 1998, I met my now-husband Drew on Match.com.

Comments (1)

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    Poorna

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    There has to be an initial aittacrton doesn’t there- online dating is one place you can be picky! I’ve had a few messages ignored myself, you have to except that your not everybody’s cup of tea, and they have to except that they might not be your’s.

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