Unhealthy relationships are awful and getting free (after often way too much suffering) is usually a big relief.
Life can be tough after the breakup of a “Healthy relationship” so how do you rebuild your life, and find love after you’ve been in an unhealthy or abusive relationship? How do you rebuild your self-worth and move into a new chapter of your life?
The challenge is that after being in an unhealthy relationship, it can make the idea of dating again can seem scary. Many people are unsure or feel insecure about dating after they have left an bad relationship and fear to entering a relationship again (Even casual dating) . This is understandable.
Self-esteem is the first step
The thing most damaged in a bad relationship is self-esteem, this needs to be repaired before you can date anyone. You need to be certain that you’re worthy of a good person and a healthy relationship.
Here’s a great exercise to begin building self-esteem. Make a list of all your good qualities, you’ll find there are lots of them, if you’re not sure where to start writing out all the compliments you’ve had in your life, this is a good way to start to seeing yourself in a more positive light and start believing in yourself again.
Another way to build self-confidence is to dress sharp. Use this to your advantage, while clothes don’t change who you are, they certainly affect the way you feel about yourself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are.
And this doesn’t mean you need to spend a ton of money on new clothes, a good rule is “spend twice as much and buy half as much”. Rather than buying cheap clothes, buy half as many items, reduce the clutter in your wardrobe and dress sharper!
Also your fitness can have a huge effect on your self-esteem. If you’re out of shape, you’ll may feel insecure. Work out and improve your appearance and you will feel better.
Get clear about what you want in a partner.
What exactly do you want in a partner ?
Take a few minutes to write it down. Get clear on what you want and what you don’t want, and don’t settle for less
When you go on a date.
1)learn to trust your gut, if a date feels wrong simply and politely leave.
2)Look for red flags and old patterns.
Pay attention to the details, you don’t want to begin dating someone like your EX,
3)Try to relax, (I know it’s hard, because of past experiences-you may even be waiting for something bad to happen) so remember that he past is the past so don’t project your paranoia onto your date, they have no idea about your past history.
Take dating slow and at a comfortable pace for you.
There’s no reason to rush, let things unfold naturally for you and your date and remember that there are some wonderful people out there. It is easy to become afraid, and cynical after heartbreak. However, there are many loving and respectful people in the world – and one of them might be the one for you.
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