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Dating On a Budget

For many people times are tough!

Today’s post is kindly written by my friend Dave…if you are feeling the downturn, have lost your job, or house or just haven’t the money you used to then I hope in some small way that reading it will help you.

Dating On a Budget

Many men think that having money, power and influence are the most important attributes we need to attract and hold onto that special member of the opposite sex. While I can honestly say that those things contribute to our overall sex appeal, they are not, in and of themselves, the most important ones for a lasting relationship, or for starting one you want to pursue. First, you should know that I have occupied both ends of the “money, power and influence” scale. I know exactly what it feels like to live on both ends and the impact that living on either end has on the opposite sex.

I can tell you without blanching that being attentive, supportive, a good listener and being romantic are far and away more important than being rich, powerful and influential alone. That said, it certainly wouldn’t hurt your cause to be attentive, supportive, a good listener and romantic and rich and powerful, but let’s not go there today. What we want to discuss is just how important those alleged “lesser” attributes count, and in particular how they apply to the rituals of dating and how you can successfully date on a budget.

The first thing you want to get out of your head

The first thing you want to get out of your head is the idea of making yourself appear more rich, powerful or influential than you are. You’ll do this at your own risk. Such a charade is rife with pending failure. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen. Don’t do it.  You can do this accidentally by trying too hard to “big time” her on that first date. Believe me it will show. You will embarrass yourself and her, too. So get it out of your head that you have to take her to the most expensive restaurant in town on that first date. Let those lesser attributes shine through and take her somewhere modest if that’s all you can afford. It will work to your advantage to be honest.

Find Somewhere Different and New – and Inexpensive to Take Her

Dating on a budget takes some planning and research. Start by going online and finding truly interesting or unusual places to go or eat in – that are not expensive. That’s a simple idea that you can leverage the hell out of. I’ve never met a woman yet that will turn down an invitation to eat in some unusual venue. Trust me. Women like new and different. The newer and more different the establishment is, the better. You can find such places in your geographical area on Google quite easily. They do not have to be expensive. They often are expensive, but we don’t need those to make a good impression; we’re clever and attentive and romantic.

If You Don’t’ Know How, Learn to Cook and Eat In

There’s not a better way in the world to impress your heart’s desire than to cook for her. I can’t tell you how valuable this attribute is. Mix “good
cook” with attentive, romantic and good listener and you’ve got the holy grail of valuable attributes right there ready to work for you. Cooking and eating in is the most inexpensive date there is. Learn to do this and you’ve learned a skill for life.

 

Imagine This

Imagine that you are very rich, powerful, influential and also extremely dull and unromantic and can’t cook. Get the idea now? So don’t be too discouraged that you can’t afford the most expensive places to eat. Focus on developing those other “lesser” attributes; the ones that count. Money can’t buy feminine interest. Well, it can – but that’s another issue altogether. That discussion would revolve around the idea of renting, not dating.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

12 Reasons Why Women Prefer Bad Boys

My friend Jane (We’ll call her Jane) was totally smitten with her new boyfriend John .

They met at a wine tasting party, he possessed all the qualities that she had dreamed of in her knight in shining armor—except for him being a Partier! John loves to visit dive bars with the guys.

Cindy didn’t mind him hanging out with his guy friends. However more than occasionally John gets slammed drunk and behaves like an ass (behaving badly to Jane when he’s drunk)…while all Jane’s friends know he’s a train wreck and not good for her…she can’t seem to break off this toxic relationship.

And Jane’s not the only one for sure!

Meet my friend Lucia

Lucia is an internationally known dating/relationship expert and TV personality. She hosts “The Art of Love” on L.A. Talk Radio, is the author of “Lucia’s Lessons of Love”, a keynote speaker and syndicated columnist.

She has been on over 100 national and international radio and TV Shows as an expert, including “Dr. Phil”, “The CBS Early Show”, “60 Minutes Australia”, “The Tyra Banks Show”, “E! Entertainment”, “The KTLA Morning Show”, “Fox 5 News”, “Playboy Radio” and “Cosmo Radio”.
(To find out more about Lucia Click here)

 

Elegant and Authentic

I like Lucia because she’s both elegant and authentic! She’s both sensitive and not afraid to “tell it as it is!”

So here’s Lucia’s expert Advice on why women prefer Bad boys-And don’t forget to read all the way to the end to get her comment on the ideal man!

Why Women Prefer Bad Boys

Women say they want a nice guy, yet usually end up dating bad boys.  Here’s why:

Not real:  Nice guys are too nice.  No one can always be that nice unless they’re a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctually don’t trust that.  Bad boys “keep it real”.  Nice guys don’t want to upset the apple cart.

Respect:  No one respects a doormat.  Nice guys don’t set boundaries or make any real demands.  A bad boy doesn’t let a woman walk all over him or control him.  Women can’t respect a man they can control.  No respect = No attraction.

Predictable:   Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they’re attracted to people who are exciting and unpredictable.   Bad boys are always a challenge. Nice guys are never a challenge.  Predictable = No excitement = No challenge = I prefer a bad boy.

Mother Nature:  Women are designed to nurture.  However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys.  They think their love will save them.  Nice guys rarely need to be saved.

Fixer-Upper:  Nice guys don’t usually need to be fixed.   Bad boys usually do, so they become a project.  Women think if they can “create” the perfect man, he will never leave them.  Also, if they’re busy fixing someone else, they don’t have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives.

Sperm wars:  Women are designed to procreate with the strongest possible genes.  Bad boys are sending an unconscious message that they have great genes, so they’re not afraid of losing the woman by misbehaving.  Nice guys are sending a message that they don’t think their genes are good enough, so they won’t misbehave.

Fear of intimacy:  If a woman is afraid of intimacy, she subconsciously knows she can avoid it with a bad boy, since she can never get close enough to him to have to go there.  A nice guy will eventually want a commitment, and that’s scary.

 Low self-esteem:   We don’t feel comfortable with people who treat us better than we treat ourselves.  If you don’t think much of yourself, the bad boy is simply reinforcing your negative belief.  A nice guy is treating you in a way you’re unfamiliar with.

Sex:  Women feel a nice guy won’t be good in bed.  They like to be manhandled sometimes and think a nice guy won’t be able to take control and get the job done.  A bad boy comes across as being able to get the job done, even though that may not always be the case.

 Hot:  Have you ever seen a bad boy who wasn’t hot?  I’m sure there are a few, but they wouldn’t be able to get away with half the stuff they did if they didn’t look so good.  Meanwhile, when a woman describes someone as a nice guy, she means, “He’s not hot”.

Charm:   Nice guys don’t always know what to say, and are sometimes at a loss for words.  Bad boys can be very charming and know exactly what women want to hear. However, they eventually switch over to being selfish.  By the time they reveal their true colors, the woman has fallen for them and has a hard time letting go.

Protection:  Historically, men have protected women – physically and otherwise.  Bad boys give the illusion of being able to protect women, while with nice guys, women aren’t so sure.

Life is about balance.

Most men fall into either the bad boy or the nice guy category.   The ideal man is neither, but walks that fine line between the two.  Until men learn how to do this, more often than not, women will choose the bad boy, until they realize that his bad qualities outweigh his good ones.

 

Online Dating? Without a good profile photo no-one’s going to reply.

Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and see how

 

Dating a New Guy…I Don’t Want to Blow It!


Meet Dr Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW.

As one of the leading love coaches for the gay community, licensed dating and relationship coach Dr. Brian has over 18 years of experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT (Gay, lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships.
You can find out more about him at thegaylovecoach.com

Wisdom for everyone…”Love is more than your sexual preference“.

I want to share Brian’s expert advice on Dating a new guy, while his articles are written with a focus towards the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) Community, I think that there is great wisdom here for everyone…I hope you’ll agree.



Brian’s article called “Dating a New Guy…I Don’t Want to Blow It!” has been written to answer a question that many of us often ask ourselves:

Dear Dr. Brian:

I have met a guy that I really like, but I don’t know what to do because I’ve never really dated before. He is great and is someone I can see myself being with for a long time. I don’t want to mess this up…what should I do?

Dating Virgin

Dear Dating Virgin:

Congrats to you on meeting someone whom you share a strong connection with! You sound very excited about getting to know him better and my first word of advice is to relax and enjoy! This stage of your dating process is all about fun and getting to know your new prospect through shared experiences and recreation. By worrying about the future with this guy before it’s even had a chance to get off the ground will cause you to feel a lot of distracting anxiety that will rob you of the opportunity to have fun and be yourself. Such anxiety could also come across in your body language and your new guy might be able to see your tension; plus, you don’t want to feel like you have to be engaging in a performance every time you get together with him. So breathe, be your true self, and allow the relationship to evolve naturally.

There’s no specific formula for dating, but you can definitely increase your chances of success by taking the emphasis off of the other guy and what he might be thinking about you and instead place it on yourself. Make sure that you have a very clear vision of what you’re looking for in a potential partner and relationship and make a list of all your needs for each. Identify those needs that are negotiable (things you’d be willing to bend on) versus those that are non-negotiable (these are deal-breakers, those things you absolutely must have or cannot have to be in the relationship). Your deal-breaker needs represent your core values and these will be the qualities and characteristics that you’ll be using to screen your new guy to make sure he matches your vision for the ideal man.

No matter how hot he is or how much you have in common, if a dating prospect doesn’t align with your vision and needs, you’ll be setting yourself up for pain and disappointment the more you invest in a future with him. You don’t want just any guy; you want the right guy!

So as you’re getting to know this new guy you’re seeing, I encourage you to avoid fretting about whether it’s going to work out, and instead keep the focus on having fun and screening him to determine his goodness-of-fit with you. Good communication skills, positive self-esteem and confidence, savvy social skills, and identification of any self-defeating or sabotaging behaviors you might have and formulation of action strategies to overcome them are other key essentials you’ll want to master to maximize your chances of dating success.

So enjoy this special time of your dating relationship and make sure to show off your authentic, genuine self! You have nothing to prove, so relax and enjoy the moment. Please read the other dating articles on my website for some additional pointers and tips. Have a great time!

Cheers,
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

Dating online? The rule you can’t break…get great online dating photos

Having  great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

How to “recenter” yourself after a breakup.

We’ve all had our hearts broken. Nobody gets out without that particular blow. The irony is that the more romantic opportunities one has, the higher the likelihood that one’s heart will eventually be broken. Sometimes we bring the blow on ourselves, not usually on purpose, but we can put ourselves squarely in the matrix of things and events that caused it. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, there’s just nothing to do but accept the fact that it’s over and suck it up.

So after one makes that uncomfortable admission, what should be the next step? I for one, having had my heart broken several times, am a firm believer in the “get back on the horse” cure for the despondency associated with a breakup. But rather than just start dating the closest warm body, I have a system.  It’s not perfect, but it does work. The key to all this is, rather than wallowing and spilling your guts to your friends about what happened and fishing for those hugs and pats on the head that don’t do all that much, to take real positive action to heal yourself. And for god’s sake, give up on the idea of dating for a while. Don’t pout. Don’t walk on the beach and “wonder”. Don’t read books to find out what you did wrong. You have to act. You have to do stuff. This is how we heal and how we move on.

The first thing you need to do is clean your house.  That’s right. Clean house. Spend a day or two days just cleaning your house. I’m talking about a “deep” cleaning: floors, dishes, dust thoroughly, clean the bathrooms top to bottom. While you’re at it, do the laundry. Do everything. Wash the windows. Clean the chicken coop if you have one. The point here is to occupy yourself with the simple cathartic act of cleaning. Do this for two or three days. Plan it out a section of your house or apartment at a time. Once all the cleaning is done, reorganize your closets, drawers, storage, garage. Throw shit away that you don’t need or don’t use anymore. Don’t try to sell it on eBay, even if it has value, just throw it away. Purge from your environment everything you don’t use or want. You’ll be surprised how much of that stuff you have around you. Toss it. Forget it. Whittle your possessions down to the basics. This, and the cleaning, are the first steps to your recovery and rebuilding and healing. Oh, did I mention detailing and waxing your car? Wash, detail and wax your car.

Once those things are done, the cleaning and purging, it’s time to start on you. Now go buy some new clothes, not a lot, but some, maybe some new shoes. Buy something you wouldn’t have bought before, something different, or something you really want to buy. Buy something expensive that looks great. Don’t go broke doing it, but you get my meaning.

If you can do it, pay all your bills. If you can’t, just spend some time organizing them. Sort them. Prioritize them. At the very least, pay the most pressing ones, even if it hurts.

Next, get a haircut, or visit a nail salon. Get a pedicure, manicure. Join a tanning salon and get a tan while you’re at it.

Oh, and what should you do at night, when the inevitable thoughts of your ex keep you awake. Take Advil PM. Take two tabs a half hour before bed. If not those, something you like that works for you. It’s simple. Sleeping well is a crucial component to healing.

So you’ve now spent as much time as you possibly can doing everything you can to stay busy and make the changes around you say one word — “reset”. You’ve reset your life. You’re not completely out of the woods, but you’ve made a good start of it. Your home is more comfortable, cleaner, well organized. You are better organized.  These simple exercises have allowed you to re-center yourself, re-balance yourself. You’ve given yourself the breathing room you need to re-calibrate your life.

The next step is to wait until the desire to date again prods you to do so. It might take a week, it might take a year. One never knows. But you will know when the time is right.

When the time is right, join that dating site you’ve been thinking about. Dating sites work as long as you follow the rules. And the first rule of dating site usage is to look your best, and put your best foot forward: get new photos that make you look your absolute best.

The stats are in on good dating photos. The more effort you put into looking your best, the more romantic options you’ll have and the better choices you have to avail yourself of. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll want options going forward and whether you have one or two or dozens, you’ll want every one of them. Good photos give you options. Once you settle on one of your new options, the heartbreak you felt a month ago or a year ago will be a distant memory. Just like your ex…

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

 

Women: Stop over-analyzing your dates!

It’s been said that men over simplify and women over analyze?

How much mental energy do most women use trying to figure out how their date feels about them?

Most women get waaaaaaay too involved in trying to figure out what their date thinks about them; They want to connect with their date and they think that by understanding and analyzing every detail of the date that this will help them achieve their goal.

The truth is that over analyzing your date doesn’t help.

A funny story about analyzing.

Tonight, I thought my date was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary: My motorcycle wouldn’t start today, I’m not sure why, but at least I got laid.

Stop analyzing your dates!

The more you over analyze your date the more stressed you’ll feel about dating.

Stop hanging all your hopes and dreams on one man, maybe even before you know all that much about him.

Shift the focus

I’m not saying to totally disregard what he says, but try shifting your focus towards not whether or not he likes you, but rather towards whether or not you like yourself when you’re with him.

If you feel great about yourself when you’re on a date with him then you’re dating the right man. And if you feel insecure or unhappy when you are with him, then perhaps you need to rethink whether he’s the right person.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having  great profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Encouraging news for 60 Million people dating with Herpes.

Working for LookBetterOnline.com I try to take the time to speak to customers each day, to stay connected with people who are dating online in the real world.

I’m always surprised at the how people will reveal their inner secrets to me. Perhaps it’s because I’m a distant English accent on the other end of a telephone that won’t judge or meet them, perhaps it’s a deeper human desire to connect with another person.

Recently I was speaking with a man who told me that he felt as if his dating life was over, he’d just ended his ten year marriage, his wife had given him genital Herpes many years ago (She knew she had it yet failed to tell him) and he had no idea how to begin dating with herpes, he was definitely afraid to start dating again and afraid of the stigma and possible rejection.

This post is my honest attempt to answer his question of “How could I possibly date when I have Genital Herpes?”

I hope I’ve done so in a respectful and sensitive manner and I hope that if you’re reading this post and have Genital herpes that my words will serve you and help you feel better about your situation.

The facts about Herpes

I was amazed to find out that 60 million Americans have Genital herpes!

For such a common condition Herpes carries a lot of stigma, which I think is way out of proportion to its effects.

One in five Americans has “Herpes simplex 2” (the most common cause of Genital Herpes) and roughly 90 percent of them are totally unaware that they have it!

HSV-2 can be passed to a sexual partner in the absence of any symptoms; This is why it is so prevalent.
Most individuals don’t go around having unprotected sex while they have an open sore; they pass on the virus in total ignorance that they have ever had herpes. (Dr. Jeff Benson states that “Most cases are not recognized by people nor diagnosed by doctors, because they do not cause the typical sores and an additional 20 percent of cases cause no symptoms whatsoever”.)

It’s often impossible to know if the virus was in your system for months or years, if you’re newly infected or if your partner got the virus and transmitted it to you recently; or if he or she too had it from the past. Blood tests may tell you that you have Herpes, but they don’t tell you when you got Herpes.

Studies show that those who harbor the Herpes virus can pass it on over 10 percent of the time, often without any symptoms. Your long-term partner, unknown to them, may have had herpes for a while and for some reason passed it on to you now. It’s important to be aware of all these possibilities before you accuse anyone of cheating.

You’re not alone.

Let me restate that if you have Genital Herpes you are not alone; millions of people have faced the challenge of dating with herpes.

How to tell your date that you have Herpes

Ok, so you know that you have to tell your date about herpes before you  have sexual contact with them, and allow them enough time to process what you’ve told them before deciding whether or not to have sex with you.

For many people this may seem like a HUGE thing to have to do, so here’s some advice to make it easier.

Don’t wait until you are in moment of passion and definitely do not wait until after sleep with them to tell them!
Honesty always has been and always will be the best policy. Even if you only want a casual relationship, your date deserves to know the truth before deciding to have sex with you, if you don’t feel ready to talk to a date about herpes then you are probably NOT ready to have sex with them.

Here’s a video I found that brings up some very valid points about talking to a potential partner about “Herpes”

Herpes does not define you.

Herpes does not define you. You are a normal person who just happens to have it, so don’t make a big deal about it…if you make it sound like a big deal your date may be more  concerned than needed. Try saying “I carry the virus for herpes.” instead of saying “I have herpes,” it sounds better.
And let’s not forget that we all have “issues” to deal with. There are worse problems to have in a relationship- Cheating. Lying, being needy to name just a few- if Herpes is your only issue, you’re not in bad shape.

Explain to your date that there are many types of herpes, and that the most common one causes cold sores. (80% of the US population already has HSV1 and got it sometime during their childhood from kissing and HSV1 can also be spread to the genitals during oral sex). “Shingles” and “Chicken Pox” are caused by a strain of herpes –HSV2 is just a different strain of this same common virus, or even print this post and get them to read it.

Your date might have the virus and not know it.

Remember that because HSV2 is so common, yet so few people who have it know that it’s highly possible that your date might have the virus and not know it. And even if they don’t, the odds are 1 in every 4 of their previous sexual partners had herpes, even if they didn’t know it and were not showing any symptoms.

Having sex with someone who has Herpes does not mean that you are going to get it. Although there are no guarantees, using condoms does reduce the risk of transmission and since you already know that you have herpes  and are taking steps to reduce the risk of spreading it, your date has a  bigger risk of getting herpes from any of the other 1 in 4 people with herpes  who don’t KNOW that they have it and aren’t using precautions.

Impressed by your honesty and ability.

When you talk with your date about herpes most of the time you’ll be pleasantly surprised, most likely they will be impressed by your honesty and ability to discuss a difficult topic. They will probably be more attracted to you and recognize that you are someone they should not discard simply because of a silly and very manageable virus.

If they decide not to move forward in a relationship, they are rejecting the herpes – not you.

Putting things into perspective

Remember to put things into perspective, Herpes is very common, let me reiterate that 60 million Americans have Genital herpes…One in five Americans, and for most people the symptoms are infrequent  and so mild that 80% of the people  who have it, don’t even know.

A Dating Website for people with Herpes

Another option for people with Herpes is to join a dating website where herpes is the norm, not the exception, where there is no stigma and definitely no uncomfortable “talk” to give.

CLICK HERE to visit PositiveSingles Website

Also remember that there are “Herpes cure scams” on the internet and if you need health and wellness advice always ask a qualified doctor.

Three things to think about.

It’s normal to feel upset after finding out that you have genital herpes.  But remember you will feel much better after you learn the real facts about genital herpes; Facts like:

  1. That Lots of people get genital herpes (500,000 Americans each year)
  2. You’re still attractive and desirable
  3. Most people with Genital herpes live happy lives and fulfilling relationships

Dating online…Get great dating photos.

You’ll need some dating profile photos when you date online.
Having  great dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, visit LookBetterOnline and find out why our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating after an unhealthy relationship

Unhealthy relationships are awful and getting free (after often way too much suffering) is usually a big relief.

Life can be tough after the breakup of a  “Healthy relationship” so how do you rebuild your life, and find love after you’ve been in an unhealthy or abusive relationship? How do you rebuild your self-worth and move into a new chapter of your life?

The challenge is that after being in an unhealthy relationship, it can make the idea of dating again can seem scary. Many people are unsure or feel insecure about dating after they have left an bad relationship and fear to entering a relationship again (Even casual dating) . This is understandable.

Self-esteem is the first step

The thing most damaged in a bad relationship is self-esteem, this needs to be repaired before you can date anyone. You need to be certain that you’re worthy of a good person and a healthy relationship.

Here’s a great exercise to begin building self-esteem. Make a list of all your good qualities, you’ll find there are lots of them, if you’re not sure where to start writing out all the compliments you’ve had in your life, this is a good way to start to seeing yourself in a more positive light and start believing in yourself again.
Another way to build self-confidence is to dress sharp. Use this to your advantage, while clothes don’t change who you are, they certainly affect the way you feel about yourself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are.
And this doesn’t mean you need to spend a ton of money on new clothes, a good rule is “spend twice as much and buy half as much”. Rather than buying cheap clothes, buy half as many items, reduce the clutter in your wardrobe and dress sharper!

Also your fitness can have a huge effect on your self-esteem. If you’re out of shape, you’ll may feel insecure. Work out and improve your appearance and you will feel better.

Get clear about what you want in a partner.

What exactly do you want in a partner ?
Take a few minutes to write it down. Get clear on what you want and what you don’t want, and don’t settle for less

When you go on a date.

1)learn to trust your gut, if a date feels wrong simply and politely leave.

2)Look for red flags and old patterns.
Pay attention to the details, you don’t want to begin dating  someone like your EX,

3)Try to relax, (I know it’s hard, because of past experiences-you may even  be waiting for something bad to happen) so remember that he past is the past so don’t project your paranoia onto your date, they have no idea about your past history.

Last thoughts

Take dating slow and at a comfortable pace for you.
There’s no reason to rush, let things unfold naturally for you and your date and remember that there are some wonderful people out there. It is easy to become afraid, and cynical after heartbreak. However, there are many loving and respectful people in the world – and one of them might be the one for you.

When should you introduce your children to your date?

A question I’ve been asked more than a few times is “When should I Introduce my child to someone I’ve been dating?

Not sure

Many people aren’t sure when would be the best time to do this and it’s a question that many parents find extremely difficult to answer.

The reason why this question is so difficult to answer is that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer that will work for all children; Considering factors could be the age and emotional development of the child and the opinions of the culture you live in.

Here are some guidelines to answer this question and hopefully making it less stressful for your child, your partner and yourself.

Are you serious?

A simple question with a simple answer; If you are casually dating someone then I feel it’s NOT appropriate to introduce them to your child; If you don’t view your date as a long-term relationship then tell your child (if they ask) that you are seeing a “friend” and leave it at that; I’ve known people quickly introduce their children to a boyfriend or a girlfriend and then watched the children get attached to the other adult, only to be upset when it doesn’t work out.

How long have you been dating?

While there’s no fixed time limit, the idea of waiting a little is smart. Give your relationship a enough time to grow and experience the natural ups and downs.

How to introduce him or her to your children

Plan something fun so that you take the pressure off everyone (Include your children in an activity you can all do together).

Talking with your children

Again the answer here depends entirely on the age and emotion development of your children.

Accepting your “Significant other” may be a slow process for your children. Remember that your top priority is to reassure your children that you love and that you intend to always be there for  them. In time they will see that you having another person in your life is about you being happy and not about splitting your affections.
Taking one-on-one time with your child to discuss your relationship will often help. If needed, you can also talk with your child know and let them know that you are disappointed that your relationship with their other parent could not be salvaged, and in light of that, you’re ready to move on.

Don’t rush things

Once your relationship becomes  serious, let your significant other get to know your children gradually, do NOT attempt to rush or force the relationship, keep things fun!

the key is to keep things fun, plan lots of good stuff with your kids, allow things to unfold naturally and if you have a few bumps along the way then learn to accept them and enjoy the process.

 

Get great dating photos (And don’t post pictures of you and your children on a dating site).

You’ll need some dating profile photos when you date online, but don’t post pictures of you and your children online (Any good person will understand that they can wait to meet your children!)
Having  great dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, visit LookBetterOnline and find out why our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Women dating a younger man, can it Work?

In the western world, women of today are able to live a lifestyle that just a few generations ago was unthinkable, they can make more choices how to live their lives and its OK if they are dating a younger man.

34% of women date younger.

In 2003 a study by AARP revealed that 34 percent of women over the age of 40 were dating a younger man, and 35 percent preferred it to dating older guys!

Cougars and cubs.

Many women have learned to laugh at the term “Cougar.(A woman who pursues younger men is a “cougar” and a man in a relationship with an older woman is called a “cub”).

Compatible life goals.

Often the biggest challenge for a relationship to survive dating a younger man is the difference in long-term goals. When people are the same age, initial sexual attraction eventually gives way to shared life goals.
For couples with big age differences when the initial rush of sexual excitement wanes, the difference in life goals often becomes painfully apparent. For example finances can be an issue if one partner wants to plan for retirement and the younger partner just wants to “live for today”, or imagine a man who doesn’t have his own children living with a women who’s children are grown up. (He could want children someday, and this could be a problem if his partner is too old to have children.)

On a lighter and more positive note younger men can love an older woman’s sexual confidence.

There are many lucky couples who experience successful partnerships despite differences in age but for others the age gap affects the relationship in a negative way as the years pass,  due to different life goals.

The happiest couple ever.

Here’s my opinion, When we fall in love, the age of the person isn’t important, our realization of the challenges we face often comes later, but at this point it’s too late you’re in love and that’s all that matters.
For some people it a big age difference doesn’t matter, for others it’s a disaster. If you are dating a younger man, then really take the time to talk about your life goals…and I hope you’ll be the happiest couple ever!

Dating online? Regardless of your age, the most important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

The online dating confessions of a nice guy: Part3

Welcome to part 3 of “The online dating confessions of a nice guy”, where I’m interviewing dating expert Phil Torcivia.

A man’s perspective on dating for women

Here’s a man’s perspective on dating,  In today’s discussion we will be talking about online dating websites, speed dating and more.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…get great online dating photos

Having  great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!