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An Example of how Women and Men think differently to make you laugh

WOMAN’S DIARY

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.

I’d been at the spa with the girls and was a little late, perhaps he was mad

The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere
quieter to talk.

He was still quiet and seemed distracted so I suggested we went
to a more intimate restaurant.

All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself – didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong. When I asked him what was wrong he replied “Nothing” and just smiled a vacant smile

When we got home back home I again asked him what was wrong, but he said he was fine and  turned
the television on.

After thirty minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply, He just smiled.

He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love – but he still seemed distant.

I cried myself to sleep – I think he’s planning to leave me.

MAN’S DIARY

My motorcycle is broken and I can’t work out how to fix it?

Think About This too!

Before you get a date you need to attract someone special!
Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, we all look at the photos first! so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Bad dating advice to avoid

When it comes to dating everyone has an opinion.
Here are 2 of the WORST dating tips that I’ve heard!

1. Play hard to get

Don’t be available for a last minute dates…and wait before calling or texting him/her back.
Here’s the logic is to show them that you have a great life full of good things and great friends, who make you important and make them, want you. The problem with this advice is that you’ll risk missing some wonderful spontaneous moments and that you can miss quality people who just don’t like playing this game. Another version of this advice is the phrase “Treat em mean, keep em keen”-which is a guarantee to drive away anyone with good self-esteem

2. Don’t sleep with your date until “x” number of days

Some people advise that the longer you wait until you have sex the better relationship that you’ll have and then there are others who advise you to sleep with people more quickly (as if you’re not sexually compatible that it’s best to find out before you’re in love with someone.)
Now I’m not here to moralize, but what I do know is that you need to work out this number for yourself, for some people it may be no sex before marriage, for others it’ll work much faster…the key is to think about what works for you and avoid advice of others

Some Good Advice

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

3 signs that you could be dating a cheater

Here are 3 signs that you could be dating a cheater…and while the truth hurts, it’s better to know, move on and find someone who is a good match.

1. He’s unavailable/doesn’t have the time

If he only makes time for you late at night than either he’s a workaholic, he’s married or he’s just not into you! If you only see him late then you’re his “booty call”.

2. He guards his phone.

If he keeps his phone with him when he goes to the bathroom then you might want to consider if you’re the only one!

3.  It’s always your house never his.

While he might have an idiot for a room-mate if you’ve never been invited to his place, he’s keeping you at arm’s length for a reason.

Dating online? Regardless of your age, an important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

“Date the real person-Not the potential”

A couple of days ago while driving I switched the radio on and found a radio program that was just ending…

201109092029320393491It was all about women who were dating the wrong guys…the expert (Who I didn’t get to hear who she was!) Gave some really good advice to women listeners, she said.

“Date the real person-Not the potential”

This in my opinion the main reasons intelligent, attractive women remain stuck in a dead-end relationship

“OK” I hear you say… “But my date is different”- “He really does have potential, he just lost his job in a tough economy”!

Women…There’s a vast difference between a guy who’s lost his job and is doing all he can to get a new job AND a guy who has the potential to be a great match for you!

Successful daters-(Even if they find someone attractive) will dismiss a date who fails to meet their criteria for a happy relationship!

You’re not going to FIX him, and you shouldn’t even want to try!

Also think about this!

Online dating profile photos before and after (10)Having great online dating profile photos  (Taken in a specific way) Is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Seasons Greetings and an offer

Happy Christmas to all our readers…..I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Holiday online dating offer: Valid between Christmas day and the new year!
Simply enter promo code “holiday” and receive $30 off a dating profile photo session

(*Offer applies to full price photo session: exaple $197 package for just $167)

3 Stupid Things to STOP Doing If You Want to find Love after 40

I heard somewhere that its the walls we build around ourselves that stop US finding LOVE!

This morning I read this Blog post (That I’d like to share) from my friend Bobbi Palmer…it was called  “3 Stupid Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Be In Love” it made me pause and think about the things that people do to prevent them from finding love….now for those of you who read my posts you’ll know I’m a HUGE fan of Bobbi!

For thiose who don’t…first let me tell you a little about Bobbi

Bobbi Palmer. is a 50-year-old, blissfully married, talented, funny, honest and kind relationship EXPERT and trusted guide who helps smart, grownup women find that someone special! And Bobbi really knows what it feels like to become a first-time bride at age 47 and experience real deep love when it seemed impossible (She met her dream husband online after getting new photos from LookBetterOnline.com).
DateLikeAGrownUp_header_banner_840.cdr
I found love at age 47. That means I spent about 30 years flailing away at dating before I met and married my spectacular man. I feel special and loved every single day, and our time together has been the best of my life.

How did I do this? In my early 40s I decided I had to figure out the man-thing. I began a journey of education. I learned more about myself, men and relationships. And here’s what I came to find out:

The challenge isn’t the NEW things we have to learn, but the OLD stuff we have un-learn!

Let’s face it: we’re kinda old. We’ve been doing, thinking and believing things about ourselves and men for a very long time. I’m here to help you do what I finally did: let go of the old crap that has been getting in your way of what you probably want most in your life: a loving, committed man.

Here are The 3 Stupid Things You Should STOP Doing If You Want to Fall in Love after 40:

#1: Dump Your Desire to Be Dazzled.

We all have different things that do it for us. You know, that thing that gives you butterflies when you finally meet a guy who has it. Maybe he has that special sense of humor, maybe it’s his intellect or his looks. This is the thing that when you find THIS in a guy you get giddy and start projecting into the future…YOUR future…together.

Whatever your thing is, even though you are over 40 or in your boomer or senior years, it’s likely coming from your 18 year old. When you meet a man with The Thing, you feel instant chemistry. You also often overlook other things that may make him a complete putz!

If you are still basing your dating choices or you’re staying in a relationship simply because you laugh together, you’re awed by his brilliance, or you think you look great together – and that’s about all you can say about it – then you are not a grownup woman looking for a good husband – you’re an 18 year old looking for a BUZZ.

The grownup woman who picks a good man as her partner gets her buzz based on observing a series of his actions and attitudes. She gets dazzled because he makes her HAPPY, not because he gives her a buzz.

Think about what dazzles you. Is it something that has to do with him being the guy who has your back and makes you feel loved and safe? Or is it about immediate gratification and feeling good in the moment?

Here’s an example of what I think is the Real Thing: When my husband Larry agrees to answer the phone when my mother calls, and when he is so freaking nice to her she forgets about talking to me all together. My 18 year old couldn’t give a shit about that, but my 53 year old digs it. He has my back. That dazzles me every freakin’ time.

#2 Stop expecting men to take all the risks.

Here is what that looks like when we’re making the man do all the work:

  • “If he’s interested he’ll show it and I’ll know it.”
  • “If he really cares about me he’ll know what I want.”
  • “I’m not going to tell him that I care about him until he says it first.”
  • “I never make the first move.”

Well, let me tell you about grownup men. These guys (the ones you want!) have achieved success in life know how to get what they want. If they think you are unattainable or uninterested they will quickly move on. They won’t waste their time on something (or someone) they can’t win. And they certainly aren’t interested in doing all the work. Are you?

What does that mean to your grownup girl? It means not walking around with your head down and your wall up. It means talking to men anywhere and everywhere. It means being willing and able to initiate open and honest conversation about yourself and about things that count when getting to know one another.

“The Rules” are out, sister. Making him chase you not only doesn’t fly with grownup dating, it turns off the smart, commitment-minded men you are probably trying to meet. These men are not into playing games or climbing your “wall of I dare you.” (That was the name of my wall.

Like you, men who are dating in their midlife want to meet someone nice and have an easy time getting to know her. And like you, most hope to meet a partner who will share the rest of their great life. But they don’t want to – nor do they have to – work like a dog to get it.

Now I want you to ask yourself a couple questions:

  1. Do I expect men to do all or most of the work?
  2. Could I be using this belief as an excuse to not put myself out there and risk rejection?

#3: Stop doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

I’m going to assume that you’ve been dating the same way and having the same type of relationships with men for years and years. Why? Maybe you’re not trying to do things differently because you’re you just don’t know what else to do. Maybe it’s because it feels safe and familiar. Maybe you’re just stuck in a been-there-done-that rut.

Doing things the same way IS standing still…or actually worse because it seems you’re working really hard and getting nowhere. Right? Well that is a feeling I knew well for many years, and it sucks!

If you enjoyed these tips:

If you’re a woman who’ve enjoyed these tips then most likely you’ll love Bobbi’s Webcast that’s called Grownup Girls’ Night Out
The good news is its FREE and you can register by simply clicking HERE:

  • Discover why you have every right to feel 100% hopeful and confident that you will find and keep the lifelong, loving relationship you’ve always wanted.
  • Understand how grownup men REALLY think and feel so you can connect on a deep level – creating truly loving and meaningful partnerships.
  • Access powerful but simple skills to start attracting the right men, everywhere you go, right away. (And have fun doing it!)

Building A Relationship Online

When you begin a relationship with someone you’ve met offline, you can often have a pretty good idea of how things are going to develop.

The first stage

step1It usually starts with physical attraction. That could be a look across a crowded room, a double-take as you’re crossing the street, a sideways glance on the subway or any of the other million ways of making eye contact and hoping it leads to a conversation.

That’s the first stage.

Then there’s the getting-to-know-you stage: the first date, the second date, the weekend dates and eventually, the first all-night date. Those are the weeks and months when you try to figure out how much you like each other, whether you’d be prepared to make the sort of changes that every individual has to make when they become part of a couple, and whether you really do have a future as a pair. It’s a time of adjustment and doubt, but also of hope and expectation. And yes, often of disappointment too. That’s the second stage.

Finally, if all goes well, there’s the shift into permanent couplehood. This is the third, final and longest lasting stage of the relationship when you begin to see the future in terms of “us” and “we” instead of “I” and “me.” That’s the third stage.

A little different

Online, relationships develop a little differently.

First of all, love at first sight is even rarer online than it is offline. While it’s not impossible for you to feel a quick thrill when you spot a pic of a great-looking hottie who lives near you and meets your criteria, it’s not quite the same feeling as suddenly seeing a drop-dead gorgeous person standing next you on the bus or alongside you at the bar. You only get to see fireworks when you meet in the flesh.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Often the relationships that start with the biggest bang can burn themselves out pretty quickly. If online relationships tend to have cooler beginnings that only gives them the opportunity to warm up slowly and develop a heat that burns longest.

It also means you’re less likely to put all your eggs in one basket.

Hundreds of emails

When you spot someone truly fantastic on a dating sitea, your first thought is likely to be that that person must get hundreds of emails.

You’re probably right. They probably do. But that certainly shouldn’t stop you from writing as well. You’ve got nothing to lose except the few minutes it takes to scoot out a quick email—and a lifetime of happiness to gain.

But knowing that you’re certainly not the only person to have seen that profile—and written to the person behind it—will mean that you’re not going to rely on that one option in the same way that you might have done if you’d met them on the bus. What it will do though is free you up to send lots more emails out to lots of other people. If it’s considered bad form to hit on more than one person at a time offline, online it’s the best strategy for lining up successful dates. With less early passion, you don’t just get longer-lasting passion, you also get more chances at a life of passion.

Second stage

That first look and first email marks the end of the first stage of online dating. The second stage is online flirting. This isn’t quite the same as dating. Dating means going out, having fun, meeting in person and checking out the chemistry. Online flirting is nothing more than the quick flurry of short emails that lets you both get a slight feel for each other’s personalities.

Normal and compatible

For the most part, this stage is about not making any mistakes. You each want to make sure that you’re normal people with the kind of compatible social skills that lets you make a go of it. You want to be certain that your new pal—a new pen-pal at this stage—is capable of holding a conversation, shows curiosity about the kinds of things you put on your profile, is genuinely interested in the same things that you are and is capable of communicating. If someone sends you a series of giant emails stuffed with family photos, filled with their entire life history and laying out their opinion on everything from the state of Africa to the sex life of Zebras before you even get a chance to reply to their first effort, then you might think they’re a bit weird.

Similarly, if they take a month to send a reply to your “I’m fine, thanks for writing. How are you?” it’s a fair bet that they’re going to be too flaky to build a reliable relationship.

Once you’ve both decided that you can each write a normal email as well as create an inviting profile, you can then begin to move the relationship offline.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Online dating tips: How to write a first message that gets results (Part 3)

Writing a first email to someone with an interesting profile is dead easy (To see Part 1 of this article CLICK HERE To see Part 2 of this article CLICK HERE)

Long boring emails

Three-word emails cluttering up your inbox might be infuriating, but at least they don’t take long to read. If they’re not the kind of thing that’s likely to get you writing back, you can give them a quick glance and knock them straight out of your inbox.

Emails that seem to last forever are a whole different game. They take ages to read. They contain all sorts of uninteresting information and they describe every little detail of the writer’s life from their love of overripe cheese to how they supercharged their car using nothing more than empty toilet rolls and spit—complete with blueprints, sketches and diagrams

What you’ll rarely find in emails like these is any sign of you. They’ll be all about the writer—and about all of the writer—and pretty much ignore you and your interests.

If an email like that sounds dull to read, just imagine how the date would be.

For two hours, you can expect nothing more than a monotonous monologue that demands that you pay your full attention… and get just about nothing in return.

Of course, if you have the time to read emails that are the length of a short book—and you don’t mind doing it—then you can still look at the profile and see if you think the face outweighs the risk of being bored. They’ve got to be pretty good-looking though to make it worth your while. Long, boring first emails do show that your possible partner-to-be is interested—but mostly in themselves.

If you have a good enough profile, with great pictures and a well-written description, there’s a good chance that you still won’t have enough time to write back to everyone who drops you a line. Many dating sites allow you send automated messages to anyone who writes to you. If you see that you’re getting far too many emails to answer, make sure that everyone who writes gets an automated message back saying that you’re away from the site for a few days but you’ll answer as soon as you can.

Sure, it’s not exactly the truth. But it’s a lot better than saying “You’re one of hundreds who have written to me. If I think you’re attractive enough, I’ll drop you a line. If you don’t hear from me, don’t feel bad.”

The chances are, if you don’t write back in a few days they’ll already have moved on and will assume that you have too. In the meantime, you’ll have kept your options open without actually handing out a rejection that you might later regret.

How you choose who to wrote to will depend of course on what you’re looking for. In general though, you can expect to cut out people who use canned emails, who ask for personal information and who don’t seem to want to spend the time to develop even a short online relationship before taking it out to the real world

Off the Internet, we often find ourselves slapping our foreheads as we make our lonely way home from bars and parties thinking, ‘Why didn’t I say that?!” or “Why didn’t I make my move when I had the chance?”

On the Web, you’ve got the time to think of the right thing to say. You’ve got models you can use to create the kind of approaches that invite responses and get relationships rolling.

But it doesn’t matter how great your first email. It doesn’t matter whether you ask a perfect question that the person you’re writing to will barely be able to resist answering or whether you capture their attention with a truly original letter

The first thing someone’s going to do when they get your email is check your profile.

The fact is, in the end, everything comes down to the profile. If your picture still isn’t professional, if your descriptions are dull, colorless and un-enticing, then it’s still pretty unlikely that you’re going to get a response no matter what you write in the letter.

Your profile is always the most important part of the online dating process…

Online dating tips: How to write a first message that gets results (Part 2)

Writing a first email to someone with an interesting profile is dead easy. Follow either of the models we’ve supplied in our last article CLICK HERE, back it up with a well-written profile with an excellent picture, and you should get a positive response.

A few things you should NEVER say!

There are a few things that you should never say in a first email though.

First of all, never ask for personal details in a first email. That will automatically raise a red flag and toss you out of the game. You wouldn’t expect to walk up to someone in a bar and get a phone number right at the start of a conversation—and you won’t get it right at the beginning of an email conversation either.

At some point, when you’re both feeling comfortable, when you’ve sounded each other out and decided that you have enough in common to make meeting up worth the time, you can exchange details or at the very least arrange to meet in public.

But that kind of trust takes a little bit of time to develop. It certainly won’t come with your first email

Similarly, you shouldn’t ask for a date in your first email.

Your goal

The goal of your first message is simply to make contact, to persuade someone to look at your profile and write back with questions of their own. It’s a chance to get a feel for each other’s personality, to begin to see how compatible you are and to decide if you want to meet in the flesh and check out the chemistry. That doesn’t usually require a huge amount of time. A handful of emails zipping back and forth is often enough for you to figure out whether you find each other interesting enough to take it further. Ask for a date right at the beginning though and the answer is most likely to be a big fat no

Chat up lines

And finally, steer clear of corny chat-up lines.

Chat-up lines tend to have pretty limited success offline. Online they’re completely unnecessary. One of the biggest advantages of dating across the Web is that you get the time to think up something smart and witty to say. You don’t need to churn out some old cliché quick before your intended target leaves.

Online, chat-up lines just make you look a bit sleazy. Actually, they pretty much do the same offline too.

How To Reply When You’re In Demand

When you have a great profile with a professional picture and solid, original descriptions, there’s a good chance that you’re going to get a lot of emails. In fact, it’s not uncommon to find that your inbox picks up several hundred emails in the first few days.

That’s a good response and it gives you wide range of possible dates to choose from. The chances that not one of the emails that you receive is a good prospect to get to know a little better is pretty small. (And if you can’t find anyone out of several hundred applicants, it’s more likely that your criteria are too strict than that there’s no one on the site worth meeting.)

Obviously though, you won’t be able to write back to everyone so you’ll have to make selection. Not everyone writes a perfect first email, just as very few people produce the kind of outstanding profiles they really need to get results.  Many, if not most, of the emails you receive will say far more about the person doing the writing than the writer

More tips

Get more tips in our next post How to write a first message that gets results (Part 3)

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating tips for the over 40’s: The Right Time To Move Things Offline

If online dating has a disadvantage, it’s that it takes much longer to go from first look to first date. Sure, that disadvantage is certainly outweighed by the fact there are so many people to choose from. It’s also outweighed by the fact that when you do meet, you’ll also know a little bit about them.

A time

But there’s always a time-lag between spotting someone’s profile photo, sending them an email, getting a feel for each others’ potential compatibility and meeting in the flesh for the first time.

It’s always tempting when you see someone who looks good on a dating site to meet them as quickly as possible. If you wait, you feel, there’s always a chance that someone else might snap them up before you get a chance to seal the deal.

And besides, when you’ve spotted someone who looks like they could be a huge amount of fun, you want to start having that fun right now.

….It still pays to wait a little (Please Wait).

If you’re over 40 When you ask to meet someone in the flesh too quickly you first run the risk of scaring your new friend off. (younger people these days don’t seem so scared!) They might feel that they want to check you out a little more. They want to get to know who are, make sure you’re honest, reliable—and really the person it says on your profile. If you come on too strong, you could send the message that you’re too keen, too entranced, or worse, too desperate. Nothing kills a potential new relationship faster than that.

Third Message?

There are no hard and fast rules about how long you should wait before working towards for the date but in general, the third message is often a good time. By then you’ll have already asked the first questions that were at the top of your mind, you’ll have figured out whether the person you’re writing to is impressed by the way you look on your profile and you’ll have a fairly good idea about the level of your compatibility.

Chemistry

By the time you reach that stage, the only way to check whether there’s any real chemistry is to meet in the flesh.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t even mention a real date before the third message. You certainly can, and some people will find it reassuring to know that you’re serious about making a real go of a new relationship and won’t be satisfied by keeping it virtual. It is possible to hint at the date in the first email as long as you don’t push it too hard. You can say something like:

Hi
I just have to say that that’s a great picture of you on the beach — and a very cute dog. I’m a 31-year old teacher living just outside San Diego, and like you, I’m into horror flicks, Thai food and hiking. (Although I can probably skip the mountain climbing — it’s hard enough climbing out of bed in the morning.) Where do you like to hike? I’ve found a great route near the coast that runs alongside a couple of streams with fantastic views out to the sea. My dog certainly likes it…
You look like a great person and I’m sure you’d be a lot of fun to meet.
Jane

That shows that you’re genuinely interested

The alternative

The aternative to asking for a date too soon is to leave it too long. That can be just as bad, and sometimes even worse. Not only because the longer you leave it, the greater the odds that you’ll lose your chance, but also because you want to go into the first date vaguely familiar with the person you’re about to meet but still curious enough to have a string of questions.

Nothing to say

You don’t want to arrive at the first date and find that you’ve got nothing to say to each other because you’ve already said it all in the emails.

And you also don’t want to go with a giant bank of expectations.

The longer your email conversation and the more you enjoy reading and writing your messages, the greater the chance that you’ll absolutely believe that you’re going to hit it off right from the get-go. That’s certainly possible. It’s even likely. But it’s not guaranteed.

Virtual vs Real

Unfortunately, there’s not always a direct link between the warmth of a virtual relationship and the heat generated at the start of a real one. Three emails and out is a pretty good rule, but the best rules are made to be broken and ultimately the best time to move from a Web meeting to a real meeting is when you feel ready so trust your gut on this one.

If the question feels awkward to ask, there’s probably a good reason: you ain’t there yet. Keep chatting, keep writing and keep going until the real relationship develops…

 

Dating online? Regardless of your age, an important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!