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How to prepare for your online dating photo shoot

Preparing for your online dating photo shoot shares some common things with all photo shoots and also some very different things. The common things is that you want to look your best and you want to just look good. But it’s the different things we’ll talk about here because you want to pay attention to these qualities. Ignore them and you might just wind up with photos that just don’t work.

The cardinal rule: look casual, but not too casual

You should strive to look smart and casual at the same time. We all know what it means to “smarten up”, so do that. At the same time, avoid looking too stiff and formal and by all means avoid any visual cliches such as polo shirts, riding clothes or boots, sport coats with turtle-neck sweaters, seersucker jackets or bow ties. If you own nothing but a closet or drawers full of these items, best to make a trip to your clothing store for something new, simple, dark-colored and reserved.

Think for minute how egotistical it is to pose for the camera in dress that tries to say it all about what you think, do, or imagine about yourself. All you’ll do is self-filter large numbers of potential dates with your costumes. What if you meet someone you really want to spend more time with and you find out she hates polo later, if you haven’t scared her away in the first second or two with your riding chaps, you may be lucky enough to have built a nascent relationship that can weather that little incompatibility. The idea here is that you want to give yourself as many options as possible from the very beginning. Don’t advertise “Must Love Polo” in your online dating photos. Very large numbers of browsers will take you at your word, and the result: a click on “next!”

Looking too casual can have a detrimental impact, though. Standing there in your pink robe, sipping coffee, or wiping your hands on your dirty sweat shirt may sound romantic and perhaps clever but the truth is those shots are just barely on this side of respectful. How do we know this? We’re in the business, we talk to dating sites all the time who in turn talk to their dating site members. Look too “casual” and the main thing about you your browsers will come away with is: “I don’t give a shit what you think.”

Keep it simple to keep your appeal broader. No props

Keeping your appearance neat, clean, simple and relaxed has the broadest possible appeal and you’ll attract the largest potential interest.  Avoid props of any kind: tennis rackets, golf clubs, baseball mitts or bats, and surf boards unless you only want to be considered by those who play golf, baseball or surf. Don’t put another self-filter on your photos with corny props.

Rest up, light on the make up and hair

Get plenty of rest, that goes without saying. Light make up is best, even if you think you “need” a lot of it, don’t do it. No big wigs.

Above all strive to look relaxed and approachable with dress and an appearance that appeals to a broad cross-section. That’s the key to having the most options, and to having the most success dating online.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

How to choose a photographer for your online dating photos

The question of which online dating photographer to choose to take your dating photos can be difficult or easy to answer. It gets difficult when you go out on your own to find a photographer and get lost in the bewildering number of portrait and wedding photographers out there. It can get even more crazy when you begin to compare costs once you find the photographer(s) you want to talk seriously with about your photo needs. You’ll find enormous variation in cost. You’ll find enormous variation in photo styles. Perhaps worst of all, you’ll find enormous variation in opinion about just what kind of photography you need.

Most photographers have a style

Be it wedding photography or portraits or product photography or PR work, a photographer’s style is his or her signature, the brand that the photographer seeks to promote. Consequently, that branding, that style, will work its way into your online dating photos if you hire them, like it or not.

So what happens if the photographer you choose is a great portrait photographer, studio type. Without the proper orientation to the needs of online daters, I’ll venture to guess that the casual photos you asked for will wind up looking more like those formal studio portraits he has hanging all over his or her studio in spite of the fact that you asked for something different.  And because you weren’t able to communicate precisely what your requirements were for your successful online dating photos, the photographer’s branding took over the shoot. And then bid-a-bing — formal portrait shots — one of the worst kinds of online dating photos possible.  The photographer’s own needs to consistently promote his or her style has trumped your needs for a very specific kind of photography most photographers just don’t do. This happens.

At LookBetterOnline, we have a different approach and make the selection of a photographer to do your online dating photos very easy and hassle-free. LookBetterOnline only selects photographers that really, really, honestly understand the needs of online daters and who have had our training to ensure that the photos they render are “date worthy”.  It’s a different style and is very highly lacking in these characteristics: cheesy, formal, stiff, ridiculous.

When you choose a photographer on LookBetterOnline.com, the only decision you should have to make is “how far away are they”. The issues of cost, style, communication, or your online dating requirements will not be issues at all. Of course you’ll choose the one whose photos you like the best. But you’ll agree after you see our samples that all of our photographers are fantastic and all of them render only “date-worthy” photos for our customers. We go to great lengths to make sure they are the best we can find.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

What kind of dating photos turn people off

I never ceased to be amazed by the sheer number of poor dating photos I see online. After 8 years operating this business I’m still surprised by the number.  People who would never go out in public with a funny hat on do the equivalent every day by the tens of thousands when they post photos that just look ridiculous. There are web sites now that do nothing but collect silly or idiotic photos of people who put such photos online,  just to make fun of them.

It is utterly tragic. And as the saying goes, “it would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.”

I think such people think it won’t matter. Somewhere in the back of their minds they imagine that the love of their life will see past the funny hat, the sunglasses, the goofy shirt or idiotic pose and see the real them. This may sound harsh, but what browsers see in those useless photos is exactly what the people who put them up showed to them: funny hats, goofy shirts and silly poses. The real person behind those unfortunate attributes is still hidden.

So what exactly are the biggest turn offs in an online dating photo? Since we’re “in the business”  and connected to most of the major dating sites and talk about this stuff everyday, we’ll tell you.

1) The biggest single turn off in an online dating photo, the one that shows up the most, is the most ubiquitous and widespread is — wearing sunglasses. Sunglasses say precisely what you think: the wearer has something to hide. Browsers think that almost universally and skip right over every one of them. They don’t think the wearer is mysterious. They just think they are untrustworthy, and in the online dating world — doomed from the start.

2) Second are self-portraits taken in a bathroom mirror.  Just like wearing sunglasses, self-portraits in the john say precisely what you think it says: lonely, desperate, and cheap. No matter how dressed up you get (and perhaps worse if you are gussied up) you’re still photographing yourself in the bathroom mirror for godsakes. Sheesh…

3) Crazy, drunken expressions are next. Toast your prospective mate in your online dating photos with a crooked grin and all you’ll get in return is a click on “next”.

4) Having an arm around someone attractive of the opposite sex comes next. Don’t do it. Just don’t. No one cares if it’s your ex.  If it is, you just earned a “next”. Even if it’s your brother or sister — “next”, ‘cuz they’ll think it’s an ex.

5) Goofy or silly clothes or Halloween costumes don’t make for good online dating photos. Just ask the 10’s of thousands of browsers who skip over those types of photos every hour.

6) Leaning on your Testosterosa [sic]. Don’t do it, even if you have one.

7) Acting crazy, zany or weird with your crazy, zany or weird friends.  “nuf said.

8) This one I saved for last, but it really ought to be number one: looking sad or lonely. The best way to stay that way is to put up one of those photos that shows you at your sad and lonely best. Enormous numbers of photos on online dating sites have that unfortunate quality.

The list goes on forever, really.  To avoid all of them simply remember what those prospective love interests really want to see in your photos: they want the smartly dressed, honest, approachable smiling you looking your best for the camera with no cheese whatsoever.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures. We can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Getting back in the dating game: 4 Dating tips for seniors

Senior dating is a huge trend, thanks to online dating sites that cater for seniors such as “Ourtime.com

For those of you who don’t know what Ourtime.com is:
OurTime.com is a dating website for the over-50 crowd in the United States and Canada. Overall, this senior dating dating website site is simple and  very easy to use.

While Seniors may have more life experience, dating again after being widowed or divorced can seem overwhelming.

Here’s 4 simple tips to help Seniors get back in the dating game and find love

1.You are not too old

Don’t tell yourself that you’re too old to have a good time. You don’t have date like you did in your 20s, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to find someone who makes you happy and find love.

2.Don’t take it so seriousl

Getting back in the dating game can be totally nerve wracking to begin with, so just remember to have fun.

3.You’re not too old to look your best.

If you care enough about your date to take the time to look your best then your date will feel flattered. It doesn’t matter how old you are, its critical that you look your best on a date. Don’t feel silly getting your hair done or buying nice clothes.

4.Don’t let your grown up children hold you back

Many seniors hold off on dating because of their grown up children kids. Remember that your happiness is important and while adult children can often be protective, you are not a child.

Online Dating? It doesn’t matter how old you are: Without a good profile photo no-one’s going to reply.

Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Online Dating: What to write when emailing someone you find attractive?

Yesterday evening I had an amusing telephone conversation with my good friend Bob (Let’s call him Bob because he’d never want me to reveal his true identity.)

A little background information; Bob’s a great guy, good friend, he’s smart, successful, good looking guy, knows how to treat a women and Bob has just started dating online with Match so isn’t too sure about this “online dating stuff” and is working out exactly what to do.

Last week he showed me his Match profile. I helped him re-write it and deleted some truly horrible online dating profile photos that he’d posted and replaced them with a great online dating photos.

Bob asked me what I thought about writing a great introduction email and then sending it off to a lot of women, to play the numbers game!

Quality over quantity.

I gave him this dating advice! “Most women want someone who is really into ‘them’, not the kind of guy who approaches every woman at the bar and NO woman ever wants to be sent a Form email “.
Personally I prefer to write individual emails to each woman. When it comes to online dating what’s important is the quality of communication rather than the quantity!

Last night Bob called me to tell me that he’d met a great woman online AND that she told him that 6 of her girlfriends and her (Who all live in the same small town) had all gone on Match.com together and would spend evenings with an bottle of wine, talking about the men they’d like to date.

Imagine if he’d sent the same email to all 7 women in the same small town…Do you think they would have noticed and  thought he was a douche-bag?

How to reach out to someone you find attractive online.

So what should you write when reaching out to someone that you find attractive online?

Writing a good email when reaching out to someone can be challenging because your words will be analyzed way more than normal.

I’ve written this post for men, but the advice applies equally to women.

1. Less is more.

When writing an email, remember that less is more;  give her the basics, elaborate later if asked;  You don’t need to give anyone your life story (and risk sounding like a narcissist) or ask a million questions (and risk sounding  like an interrogation.) Think about it, who is more intriguing? Someone who tells you their life story VS someone who talks a little and waits for encouragement to continue?
Make your first message at four sentences, maximum. Your first email is only an introduction- Don’t make her feel sorry that she opened your email.

2. Never be negative.

Never write anything negative in a dating email…simply stated leave out negative comments of any kind.

3. Tell her why you like her.

Tell her that you liked her profile, and why. For example, if a woman mentioned that she likes wine, let her know your favorite vintage. Ask her if she likes the local winery-this could be a great first step towards meeting her.

Don’t tell her how hot they look.

Even if you think that she is Angelina Jolie’s twin sister, don’t tell her how hot she is! Save compliments until after the ice has been broken. Establish a connection first and then your compliments will be more meaningful later.

5. Ask a question and make it easy for her to reply.

Take the time to read her profile. Notice the clues she/he gives you about what they likes, and he/she’s looking for. If she/he mentioned it in their profile… don’t ask again.

Ask a Question to get a reply…

And never beg for her phone number or even for her to write back. Remember just a simple introduction… and don’t spoil things by saying “If you don’t see anything you like, that’s fine too. Good Luck with your search!” Statements like this are HUGE turn-offs because they make her feel like you are expecting to be rejected.

Online Dating? Without a good profile photo no-one’s going to reply.

Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating profile mistakes people make without knowing; Revealed by top Los Angeles online dating photographer

Let me tell you a little about my friend Charlotte.

Charlotte is in my opinion one of the finest online dating photographers you’ll ever meet! Simply stated she is masterful in her work. Here’s an example of the standard of the photos that she takes here as an online dating photographer in Los Angeles, California.

(Whether you live in Los Angeles or not if you are interested to see more of what she does as an online dating photographer.)

The reason I’m writing this blog post though is as a direct result of a telephone chat I had with Charlotte recently.

She explained to me one of the most common dating profile mistakes people make without even knowing it!

After the photo shoot – what’s next?

So let’s imagine you have just finished a photo session and now you have 12, 18 or 24 gorgeous, shiny images of yourself!

Well, as excited as you may be to put your new pictures to good use, here is something to keep in mind.

“I often receive follow-up emails from my customers after a shoot”, says Charlotte. “Almost everybody asks for advice on which photos to use”.

“Although all of the images you will receive from me are an excellent selection for on-line dating purposes, some dating sites limit the number of images you can upload”.

A little overwhelming.

“Unless you are a professional model, it can certainly be a little overwhelming to select your favorites, not to mention seeing yourself in a whole new, and better, light. Should I go for the half-body shots or the close ups? What about the “big grin” as opposed to the “soft smile”? Does my hair look good? How about my tie, is it too business like or just right?”

As an online dating photographer Charlotte has heard it all…

A few trusted friends

“We are often not very good at judging our own image and what may be important to you may not be something anyone else would pay attention to, or even notice. So instead of obsessing over real or imaginary details, why not let a few trusted friends help you select the pictures that best represent you? “

Yes I hear you say this all makes perfect sense, but what about this dating profile mistake you mentioned in the title of this article that people make without even knowing it?

What most people don’t know.

“What is mind boggling to me”, says Charlotte, “is that so many people leave their old profile photos up for sentimental reasons, even after adding their new, professional ones. A party snapshot from that drunken weekend in Vegas. Three fuzzy cell phone photos of Fido, Buster, and Rover sleeping in the back yard. An “artistic” mirror self-portrait from 2007. A faded beach bikini scan from Cabo San Lucas, some 30 pounds ago. They might all be fun for your memory lane scrap book project but those old photos will do nothing to generate interest in your new dating profile.”

What’s worse, people who browse your profile will critique you by your least flattering picture – not your best.

Let me say this again for emphasis:

People who browse your profile will critique you by your least flattering picture – not your best.

“You just made a real effort to improve your look online, spent time and money on your new photos. So do yourself a favor and remove the old duds from your profile once and for all. Let your least flattering profile picture be just as terrific as your best!”

Online Dating? How to be way more successful…and have more fun

Without a good picture no one’s going to read your profile! Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

15 Secrets of Online Dating for Grownup Women – Part 3

Here’s the second article (Part 2 of 3) from my friend and top  Dating coach Bobbi Palmer:

As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, I encourage my clients to get online. If you are a woman over 40 looking for love I want you online too.

I met my husband online and got married for the first time at the age of 47! And you can too.
But before you put yourself out there, I’ve given you some advice about how to show up, set your expectations, stake your claim, have some fun, and ultimately find a loving partner

(This is a 3 part article, so read Part One and Part Two first if you haven’t already.)

The new hot spot.

Online dating is the new hot spot for boomers and older adults. As a woman over forty, you need to do a little extra work. But like me, you can meet your dream man.

In Part 3 of: 15 Secrets to Successful Online Dating for Grownup Women here are 5 more things to know before you get started:

#11. Be in the moment.

Stop talking to yourself; you are there to talk and listen to him. It’s hard. But being aware is the first step.

When you notice yourself in an over-analytical mode, tell yourself to stop and pay attention to the man sitting in front of you. If you don’t, you may completely miss the man of your dreams.

#12. Don’t be a Fault Finder.

Be kind and practice empathy. He has fears and insecurities just like you. Don’t get hung up on some little thing he does that “you just can’t live with.”

Consider why he’s doing it, and if it truly is a deal breaker. Then look at him again with the kind eyes of a woman working hard to find a good man.

And regardless of how you end up judging him, always leave him feeling good about himself; even if you’re not going to see him again. You’ll be doing the next woman a favor; and sharing a true kindness to this nice man; even if you’re not planning on seeing him again. Consider it a deposit to your dating karma bank!

#13. Show up on time, looking great.

I know, this seems obvious. But many of us don’t do too well with our punctuality; we just focus on figuring out how to show up during our busy day. Many consider it rude for people to be late. And remember, this is your first and maybe only chance to get that great man to ask you on a date. Focus, and give it the attention it deserves.

Make a plan to be on time, and present yourself as the beautiful woman that you are. If you’re coming from work, leave a few minutes early so you can go home and change out of your power clothes.

If you’re taking a walk with him, don’t even think of wearing your fanny pack and sweats. Dress femininely, and give him your gift of a big open smile. (As a note: if you absolutely hate when people are late, let him know that so he can make an extra effort. That way your date isn’t a lost cause from the first moments.)

#14. Men want women.

Studies show that men are highly attracted to the feminine woman. That doesn’t mean you need to act like a damsel in distress. In fact, that isn’t at all attractive to real grown-up men. Mature men want a woman who is strong and is able to take care of herself; but also willing and able to receive from him.

On your meet date, let the man pay, accept his compliments graciously, and act with loving kindness. In studies, when men are asked why they chose their wives or girlfriends, they consistently identify her ability to receive and extend kindness as attractive feminine qualities.

#15. Have fun while you practice.

Every meeting and date is practice that brings you closer to Mr. I Love You. Statistically, your meet-date won’t turn out to be him. So what?

Enjoy the time and be open to what comes up. Don’t come in with an agenda, and don’t let it ruin your time if, in the first 10 minutes, he doesn’t appear to be your man. Just relax and let yourself enjoy. You never know; you may just let yourself relax into a very nice feeling.

You can also use this as a time to help boost the man’s self-esteem. (Yes, men are as nervous and insecure as we are.). He was nice enough to “pick you” and make the effort of meeting you. (Remember, as we get older the men have way more choices than we do.)

Unless he’s a real creep (which very very few men are), help him feel good about himself by giving him some compliments and thanking him graciously. Try to learn about him and find what’s unique and interesting. You can learn and gain something from just about anyone.

And Finally…

Ultimately, I learned that the only way to find a lasting and loving relationship is to become a smart, confident and complete woman who merits the love of a good man.

A large part of that journey is being open to learning and having the courage to do new things; even when they are difficult or scary.

If you’re not already online; get there. If you are online, and you haven’t met your special man yet (which I assume you haven’t because you are here), take my advice to heart.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!


 

15 Secrets of Online Dating for Grownup Women – Part 2

Here’s the second article (Part 2 of 3) from my friend and top  Dating coach Bobbi Palmer:

Meeting men can be hard.

Let’s face it, meeting men can be hard, especially if you are over 40. You’re not meeting men at work or in bars anymore. Your circle of friends is likely the same as it’s been for years, so there may not be many chances to be set up with great guys.

Being online means you can meet hundreds of men.

If you’ve been avoiding going online because you’re thinking that it’s only for 20 year olds…think again! Dating sites report that their fastest growing segment is people over 50.

I’m Bobbi Palmer, the dating and relationship coach for women over 40. I met the love of my life online and got married for the first time at age 47, so of course I recommend it to my coaching clients.

In part 1 of this article we covered the 5 things to consider before you get online. Part 2, Secrets #6 through#10 are about what to do once you start meeting men online.

If you remember nothing else, remember this.

When you’re using online dating, if you remember nothing else, remember this: when you meet for the first time after connecting online, it’s just meeting; it’s not dating.

You have to know how to get past the meet-date to get to the real date. (If you want to, that is.)

5 things to consider before you meet Mr. Wonderful:

#6. Meeting is not dating.

The purpose of the “meet date” is only to determine if you want to go on a real date. It’s not to get to know each other. For most men, this is their time to get a first impression and decide if he wants to get to know you better. If he does, he will ask you on a real date.

Remembering this will help you better judge a man’s interest, and make more realistic decisions about his worthiness as a possible mate. If he doesn’t present himself as overly interested or serious about romance, he may just be waiting for the real date to wow and woo you.

When he gets a good initial impression, he will ask you out. When he asks, say “yes, I’d enjoy seeing you again!” if you feel good with him. Then give him the real look-over on the date; as he will you.

#7. Be positive, and realistic.

Stay positive in the belief that you will find your special man who will rock your world. But be realistic by remembering that the majority of the men you meet won’t be Mr. I Love You.

This will serve you well in managing your expectations and, therefore, disappointments. If he’s not The One, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. If nothing else, you’ve had a nice evening and you’ve had more practice for when you do meet him.

#8. Put your best foot forward.

Everyone, men and women, have negative attributes and secrets; and everyone worries about when to share them. The answer may be complex and depend on the situation, but the sure thing is NOT to share them on the meet date, or often even the first date.

Divorce, family problems, jobs you hate, friends or other men that have betrayed and disappointed you are off limits. If he asks or brings it up himself, respond with one or two sentences of a positive nature and sway the topic elsewhere.

For example: “It was difficult at times but I learned a lot from that experience” or “Wow, we could talk about that for hours!

Let’s put that in the queue for next time…I’d rather talk about your [travels; favorite movies, bands, or plays; preferences in food; or cats vs. dogs…”)

#9. Remember…you don’t know him.

Until you spend time with him you cannot know his character, his values, or how he would make you feel in a relationship.

Intuition and chemistry are real, but not reliable indicators of the important elements of a long-lasting, adult relationship: trust, respect, loving-kindness, etc.

Keep your reaction-to-attraction and intuition in check, and lead with your intellect. It will serve you better in the long run.

#10. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.

You are looking for a good man with whom you can share deep connection, unconditional trust, mutual adoration, and a lifetime of happiness. Everything you do should be toward that end.

That means choose long-term happiness over momentary pleasure. Don’t be intimate too soon and do give him the time and attention needed to make a good and grown-up choice.

And please have FUN with this! (More about that next time in Part 3.)

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!


 

15 Secrets of Online Dating for Grownup Women – Part 1

Many of you who’ve read this Blog before know that I featured my friend and dating coach  Bobbi Palmer. www.datelikeagrownup.com

For those of you who haven’t met Bobbi let I’ll re-introduce her as “The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40”.

I like Bobbi because she’s the real deal, someone who shares a positive message for women looking to find love, someone who genuinely loves helping people and someone who has met her true love.
(Tip for anyone reading this, if you want to marry the man of your dreams then listen carefully to dating coaches with happy marriages.)

“So why listen to Bobbi”? I hear you say…Listen because Bobbi found love at 47.

If you are a single woman over forty, who is still hoping to meet the man of your dreams… If you’re tired of disappointing dates and feeling like it’s too late or too difficult…then please read on. Here’s the start of a 3 part article called

15 online dating “Secrets” for Grownup Women !

You Can do it!

You can meet the spectacular, special man who is going to be your life partner using online dating. I met the love of my life online, so of course I recommend it to you.

I’m Bobbi Palmer, the dating and relationship coach for women over 40. I encourage my clients to get online to find the man who will love and adore them the rest of their lives.

My clients are using online dating to varying degrees of success. Pamela’s beau is the first man she met online; Heidi went out with about four men before she met Tom and started her (so far) 3 year relationship with him; Peggy is on Bachelor #26 and happy that she is just having a good time dating for the first time in her life.

It took me years of being online before I met Larry. That’s why I can give so much advice about what to do…and what not to do!

It can happen

It may not happen for you overnight, but like me…it can happen.

I want you to go online. But before you put yourself out there, I want to give you some advice about how to show up, set your expectations, stake your claim, have some fun, and ultimately find a loving partner.
And know this: just because you’re online, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way you can meet men. You can meet them in the grocery store, Sierra Club hikes, your friends’ parties, and blind dates set up by your friends and relatives. This just exponentially increases your chances.
So get out there, and have some fun! But read this first.

Here are five tips to consider as you get you started.

#1. Be the Boss

No, I don’t mean be bossy. I mean be in control of your experience. Online dating opens you up to thousands more possibilities, and it’s a completely new way of meeting people.
Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. How many hours will you spend each day? (Warning: this can get addictive!) What things can you do to ensure your physical and emotional wellbeing as you talk to and meet people? What can you learn or change to be a successful dater?
Intuition and special situations will create forks in the road. And as time goes on, you’ll likely tweak some of these decisions. Considering some things up front, however, gives you a tentative roadmap and, more importantly, an expanded awareness. I want you to have fun, be open to new things, and enjoy the experience; just do it consciously and like the grownup woman that you are.

Remember those jerks you met in bars 30 years ago? Well a few are still out there; they just have gray hair now. You need to be able to deal with them in a classy you direct manner; the best way is to have a good sense of what you want and who you will “be’ out there.

#2.  Stand out

Plain and simple: you have competition girlfriend. As we age, the ratio of women to men grows further apart. Some statistics say it’s as much as 11 women to each man after 55. Yikes!

If you’re dating after 40, I want you to stand up and stand out. You’re reading this so you’re already ahead of the game. Make sure your pictures are great. Get them done professionally. (Come on a couple of hundred bucks is NOT too much to spend to attract a fabulous man??)

Your profile needs to be unique and speak to men. Here’s a tip: If your best girlfriend loves it; it probably sucks because it’s too girly. Every communication needs to scream how special you are, show your personality, and tell him you’re interested. (“Hi” on the subject line means you wait in line or get deleted. Flirt a little and have some fun.)

#3. Be honest

You are online, but your goal is to actually meet men, yes? One of the top complaints of men is that we post pictures that are…let’s say…out of date. Just don’t do it. Post lovely, yet current, pictures. It’s disingenuous and a waste of time to do otherwise.

Also, be clear about what you’re looking for. I find that at 40, 50, and beyond there is a wide spectrum of what type of partner men and women are looking for. Whether you want a dinner partner or a husband; put it out there. There’s no need to scream it, but weave it into your profile. If you want a life partner, you don’t attract that man who is out there “just having fun.”  (Trust me, with Viagra and a computer…a man can have a lot of fun these days!)

#4. Consider a makeover

When is the last time you updated your look? Have you changed the way you apply your makeup or wear your hair? Have you bought any new styled clothes?

Doing this is as much about looking good for a man, as it is about feeling good for yourself. A confident woman who takes care of herself and looks healthy is a man magnet.

Go to your local department store and have a free makeup session. All the lines do this, did you know? Splurge for a fancy hair style. Check out catalogs~you don’t have to necessarily buy — but check out what’s hot (and what’s not).

#5. Check your baggage

Yes, I do mean don’t drag your nasty divorce, money troubles, or last case of gout into the conversation. (At least not anywhere near the beginning of getting to know someone.)

But, as important, don’t drag in all those beliefs and decisions you made 20 years ago. The woman you are today is nowhere near the girl who dated way back when.

It’s time to review all your checklists. Check the one that defines “the perfect man” and what he must do or not do to get to the next date.

Check the one that has all your “truths” about yourself, about dating, and about men.

It’s important to take time to ground yourself in who you are and what you want in your life today. Do this by yourself, with a friend, or with a coach. But do it.

Remember, stay the same means staying single, sister.

Dating online? Regardless of your age, the most important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

 

Dating success and your Profile Picture.

I asked dating experts (and good friends) “The Amazing Clarks” for the best advice to give people who date online.

Get great photos

They told me; “Take the time to get great photos”.

Now as CEO of a company that specializes in creating a profile picture for each of my customers that delivers results, that was music to my ears.

Top dating coaches have known for years that the most important part of a dating profile by far is the photo.
Here’s the way I see things:

People are busy. They want to see you. They want to see the face of the person that they might be waking up next to for the rest of their life.

If they see a photo that is blurred, dated, or difficult to make out they will simply pass you by. And you know it’s true. How long do you spend looking at each profile picture thumbnail?

dating site behaviour

The first thing that most people do when they reach a dating site is browse the photos. It’s faster than trying to read through a thousand descriptions — most of which, frankly, sound the same. It’s also more fun and while a good profile picture of an attractive face will make up for a dull description, a great description has to work a lot harder to compensate for a blurry profile picture or an expression that can sour milk.

If you’re serious about ending being single, you’re going to need an excellent profile picture that shows you at your best.

Dating sites contain the largest number of eligible singles that you can find anywhere in the world. If there’s one time it’s worth putting in the effort to create a good appearance, this is it.
Think of it this way: if you were invited to a party and told that everyone you meet there will be single, that many of them—hundreds of them in fact — will be good-looking, smart and have everything you’re looking for, wouldn’t you make sure that you turned up looking your best? You might even buy a new suit, treat yourself to a trip to the hairdresser. You’d certainly shower. You’d make the investment.

That’s the difference between people who meet their life-partners on the Web and people who just keep looking.
Unless your vacation snaps were taken by a professional photographer, or unless you’re a model with a book full of headshots, you can probably forget about using any of the profile pictures you’ve already got on your computer or which were taken by your digital camera. They’re just not going to cut it.

The best way you’re going to get your profile working for you in the fastest time possible is to get some truly great pictures taken.

Sure, that will involve an expense but who said that dating is free?

Don’t spend a fortune on subscriptions because your photos let you down

Dating does cost money, and it’s worth it. That’s why you agreed to pay a monthly subscription to a dating site and that’s why you’re prepared to give up your evenings to write emails to strangers.

If you really do want to meet someone new sooner rather than later it pays to put a professional profile picture on your profile. And it pays, too, to create the energy you want to convey in your profile picture by having them taken by someone who takes their time. You want someone that can capture that twinkle in your eye or coax that million dollar smile out of you during the shoot.

People can feel your energy and intentions through your photos, so make this a priority. Remember your online profile picture is your calling card so don’t cut corners…do it right. We promise that it will pay off. Below are a few tips that can help.

Tips that will help you take great online dating photos…

  • Imagine yourself being seen by your dream person. Convey the message you want to send to them through your eyes and smile.
  • Show that you are willing to do whatever it takes to have the love you want and deserve.
  • Don’t go for a quick easy drug store photo fix; rushed photo sessions just don’t do the job.
  • Make sure your photographer will spend at least 40-60 minutes on your photo-shoot. Don’t accept less and invest your time and energy into putting your best look forward.