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How to Avoid online dating scammers!

A lot of people

Millions of Americans use online dating sites to meet people, but “online dating scammers” also use these sites to meet “victims”. They make fake profiles to fool you into an online relationship with them, and eventually convince people to SEND MONEY in the name of love. Some even make wedding plans before disappearing with the money.

Not stupid

An online love interest who asks for money is almost certainly a scam artist, and you don’t have to be stupid…often when we want to find love that we are more vulnerable than usual

Don’t be paranoid

OK so the purpose of this BLOG isn’t to make you paranoid or disillusioned! Despite the scammers online dating can still be a great way to meet someone special, but don’t forget to follow these 3 simple tips to make your experience safer.

1. Don’t give away personal information

Imagine meeting a stranger in a bar and he (or she) asks you for personal details, imagine him or her asking you for your Email, phone number or street address. Now you’d probably decline, yet online people often fail to see just how unsafe this is!

Your full identity

Remember that you don’t want to reveal your full identity until you can feel that you know the person a bit better– remain anonymous until you feel ready. Take advantage of most of the dating websites “member-to-member” messaging that protects you identity until you decide to reveal who you are
And also, leave any personal contact information out of your profile or username.

2. Never send Money.

Ignore ALL requests to send money-even if the person claims to be in an emergency. If someone asks for money it’s because they ARE a scammer…would you ask someone you met when online dating for money? Of course you wouldn’t-Yet thousands of people are scammed each year doing just this….DON”T send money for sick kids parents or ANYTHING!

3. Watch the language

Look closely at messages that people send you. The scammer will often send you an email which is full of bad grammar, for example.

“By the way I’m Green I am professional Doctor “…

OR

Hello, I go through you profile its look nice and lovely

Match.com also gives great advice…they say:

“Be wary of communications that ask you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or asks for personal information. There are certain red flags to watch for that may indicate you’re dealing with a scammer. Be aware of anyone who”…

• Quickly asks to talk or chat on an outside email or messaging service
• Claims to be from U.S. but currently travelling, living or working abroad
• Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name
• Talks about “destiny” or “fate”
• Claims to be recently widowed
• Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
• Makes an inordinate amount of grammar and/or spelling errors
• Sends you emails containing strange links to third-party websites

Something else to think about!

The stats are in on good dating photos. The more effort you put into looking your best, the more romantic options you’ll have and the better choices you have to avail yourself of. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll want options going forward and whether you have one or two or dozens, you’ll want every one of them. Good photos give you options. Once you settle on one of your new options, the heartbreak you felt a month ago or a year ago will be a distant memory. Just like your ex…

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

3 Happy Holiday Dating tips

While many people feel that the holidays are a great time to connect with loved ones, for many people who are single it feels like a lonely time.

Some people feel like the Holidays can be a difficult time to plan a date…with gift shopping and planning many people feel burned out and too busy to go on a date.

But it doesn’t have to be like that! It can be a fantastic time for dating…and here are a few ideas to make dating over the Holidays way more fun!

1.Take time to Refresh your dating profile before the new year!

That means making sure that you have great a photos and a great profile…many other single people will be feeling the same way as you so make sure that you look the best you can online…

2.Accept every invitation you can to a party

Accept every single invitation you can to parties.  You’ll meet a lot of people and maybe one of them will be someone special- And if you don’t know anyone ask the hosts to introduce you to some people who they think you’ll get along with. And don’t forget to dress up and look like a million dollars! (Although don’t turn up too early or drink too much as drunk is NEVER sexy. Enjoy but pace yourself)

3.Think Creative Holiday dates

Now use your imagination here…think asking someone to meet you for a cup of steaming hot chocolate, or wrap up warm and look at the Christmas lights, or ice skating…a little creativity
is romantic and fun.

Also think about this!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

3 reasons to be happy if you’re over 40 and online dating

Recently I was speaking with a friend of mine who got divorced a couple of years ago and had begun dating again…he was telling me how he hated online dating and that he felt disadvantaged as an older person.

Well my friend I wanted to give you 3 reasons why you can feel glad that you’re dating and over 40 so here goes!

Your previous relationships have made you wiser

Knowing yourself better and knowing what you want/don’t want in a relationship is a huge advantage. You know who you are, what’s important and you’re less likely to depend on a relationship to solve your problems too!

More money to enjoy dates.

Remember being younger and scraping together enough money to take your date to dinner or a movie? Most people have a little more money to spend on dating as they get older.

No biological clock

No pressure to get married and have kids…this sounds pretty good doesn’t it!

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

How to Catch a Catfish Online Dating Scam

The term Catfishing used to mean going fishing for a particular, bottom feeder with no scales. Now, in the digital revolution, it means setting up a fake, online profile to trick an unsuspecting person into a relationship. Many people catfish simply because they’re lonely but some people use the scam to get their victims to send them large sums of money.

How to protect yourself online

Nearly a quarter of all relationships begin online these days and it’s more convenient to meet people from the privacy of your living room than it is to go out to a crowded bar or night club. Unfortunately, this practice leaves you vulnerable to the Catfishing scam. Fortunately, there are a few ways to avoid being scammed.

Meet in person

First off, you should only start a relationship with people in your area. This way you can request to meet in person and if the other party persistently refuses, it should raise a red flag in your head. Another way to catch a Catfish is by requesting a session on Skype. This is the best alternative to actually meeting face-to-face and if the person you’re talking to refuses to Skype with you, they’re probably not the person in the pictures on their profile.

If the other party is refusing

You may already be emotionally involved with the other party and you feel they’re being honest but you have to think with your head and not your heart. If the other party is refusing to let you see them face-to-face then you’re more than likely dealing with a catfish and it’s better to find out sooner rather than later. Give the other party an ultimatum and let them know that you doubt they’re the person on their profile pictures. If they still refuse to meet or Skype with you, be strong and move on. It may be difficult initially but you’ll probably save yourself a lot of heartache in the long run.

An InfoGraphic to put things in perspective

Sandra from Instantcheckmate.com. kindly sent me this infographic on the phenomena of “Catfishing” I thought I’d share it with you to help you learn more about catfishing and Protect yourself.
To put things into perspective lots of people find love (Online dating is responsible for 120,000 marriages a year) so remember to follow these simple rules and you’ll have a better experience online.

catfishing-online-dating

Also think about this!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

3 things to look for when reading Online Dating Profiles

The fact is, much of what you find on most profiles actually tells you very little. When you see a profile that says, “My friends would describe me as…” you can usually expect the usual series of adjectives that include reliable, attractive, honest, dependable etc., all of which are probably true but don’t really tell you what makes the person unique—or uniquely attractive.

Pay Attention

Often, all you need to pay attention to is the first thing that someone puts on their profile:

dating profile 001I’m a Christian woman. I’m not perfect and I have my faults but I know the difference between right and wrong and try to live my life that way. I don’t drink or do drugs and wouldn’t date a man who does. I like the smell of rain, barn dancing, slow drives in the country and long evenings in front of the fire.

Believe it or not, you’ll find lots of profiles like this on dating sites, profiles in which the very first sentence tells you everything you need to know. The writer has placed her values front and foremost, and it’s fairly clear what kind of relationship she’s looking for—and what kind of man.

Not all profiles are that obvious though. You certainly might find plenty of profiles that say that the single behind it likes Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, choices which speak volumes about their musical taste and makes clear that there’ll be no fighting over the music collection if things don’t work out. But how someone writes can reveal as much about who they are, where they’re from and where they’d like to go as what they write.

It’s often possible to spot a number of small signs that give a clue to the writer’s background, personality and most important, compatibility.

1. Spelling

There are two kinds of profiles: those with spelling mistakes and those without. And it’s not just the misspelled words that tell you about the writer’s writing skills—or their ability to use spellcheck—it’s also the use of numbers instead of letters, dodgy punctuation and missing capitals.

dating profile 002This happens a lot in online communications and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with skipping spelling rules (although it’s always best to follow them, if only for the sake of clarity). But a tendency to leave writing laws in the dust does say much about the person doing the writing—and whether you’d make a good match.

In general, people who write “4 u” instead of “for you”, tend to be young, trendy and… a bit lazy. They’re more comfortable with SMS messaging and online chatting than sitting and writing words in full.

That’s fine if you’re the same. If you can’t understand why “too” has three letters instead of two, especially when you can write it “2”, then dating someone who’s “looking 4 u” could work out just fine. But if you’re infuriated at people’s inability to write properly, then dating someone who likes to take the shortcut to creating sentences might not be for you at all

2. Humor

When you’ve seen a lot of dating site profiles, you’ll quickly notice that just about everyone online seems to be looking for a date with a sense of humor. The Internet is not a good place for po-faced dullards to find their other halves.

Unfortunately, few profiles seem to show the qualities their writers are looking for. Most people tend to take a pretty straightforward approach to creating their profile. That’s not entirely their fault. There aren’t many great jokes that begin “About Me And My Match” and even Chris Rock would find it a challenge to be funny in the small amount of space you can find on most dating site profiles.

That means that on the one hand, it’s not a good idea to hold a lack of wit against someone you see online. They might be a scream in real life and your date might be filled with unending laughter but when it comes to getting across their humor on their profile, they could have just come up a bit short.

On the other hand, if you do see someone who looks good and has a profile that makes you smile, send out an email as soon as you spot it. If someone can make you laugh with what they squeezed into their self-description, imagine how much fun the date will be!

3. Integrity

It would be great if you could judge the level of someone’s integrity just by seeing what they write on their profile. But it’s just not that easy. No one ever writes in their self-description, “I’m unreliable, unfaithful, deceitful and selfish. I’ll hit on your pals, stand you up on dates and if you think I’m really going to hang around for a long-distance relationship, you can think again. At the first sign you’re getting serious, I’ll be heading for the hills.”

No one ever writes that, but you might find ages that seem at odds with the look in the picture, income ranges that are pitched way too high for someone who works in catering or retail, or occupations that just don’t seem to match the level of education.

Now, it’s perfectly possible that there’s a perfectly good explanation for what to you looks like a strange discrepancy. But if you’re already raising questions about your potential date’s integrity, do you really want to enter into a relationship with them—and begin by having to decide whether you believe their answers?

Trying to read between the lines of the information you’ve got on a dating site profile isn’t easy. But with so little to go on before you send out that first email and so many people to choose from, you’ll find yourself doing it without even noticing. In all, the best policy is to trust your instincts. If something someone writes gets your goat, the best policy is to give them the elbow. If you find yourself attracted to the wit in someone’s self-description, then shoot them out an email and see what they say back!

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit www.LookBetterOnline.com and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

13 things TO AVOID when posting Dating Profile Photos

I’m not sure exactly why so many people ask me  “What Should I avoid when it comes to dating profile photos?” Perhaps it’s because we’ve al lseen our share of awful dating photos.

Here’s a list of things to AVOID when posting your dating profile photos (And a link at the end of the article to tell you what to do too!)

1.NO “Bathroom-Mirror-Self-Portraits:

Bathroom Selfies” make you look like you’re a loner and a loser.

2.NO Blurred/Dark photos.

People want to see if they find you attractive. Blurred and dark dating profile photos are a FAIL!

3.NO Sunglasses or a Cap.

So what are you trying to Hide?  If you’re balding, who cares, some women love bald men and the eyes are the window to the soul, which is why you shouldn’t hide behind your shades. People want to look into your eyes to see who you really are. your matches want to see your sparkling eyes (Eye contact can be just as engaging in a photo as it is in person)

4.NO frowning photos.

Smile…In social situations if we see someone smiling then we assume that they are approachable and happy and people who don’t smile are often Moody and difficult!~and it’s the same with online dating profile photos…so smile a little.

5.NO Drinking photos.

Dating profile Photos holding a drink give people the impression that like to drink…a lot. So unless you’re a partying college kid leave them out…otherwise you’ll just look like an alcoholic.

6.NO Photos with people cut out.

Do you really not have any photos without your EX?  Don’t cut the ex out of the photo, so that there’s an obvious gaping hole, or use a piece of paper to block out their ex.

7.NO Old photos.

A rule of thumb is to never have a photo over 3 years old.

8.NO Kids in photos.

While you might be a great parent Photos of children just don’t belong on a dating website

9. NO Pics of your parents.

No one wants to see a grown man hugging his mother on a dating site, It just looks odd!

10. NO photos where its not obvious who you are.

Which one are you?  Your date shouldn’t have to guess which person you are in the photo.

11.NO messy backgrounds…

Watch your backgrounds. Last thing we want to see is your dirty place…this is a huge FAIL for a dating profile photo.

12. For Men-No bare chests or flexed muscle

Unless you want to look like a complete “tool”.

13. Don’t post glamour shots.

A glamour shot is not about The Real You, it’s about the photographer creating the image that they find the most pleasing. The photographer will use heavy makeup, hair styling, unnatural lighting and heavy post production retouching. The result is a fantasy image, and it fails online. People avoid these type of dating profile pictures because they feel that no one looks like this, or they avoid you after the date because you didn’t measure up to the dating photos on your profile.

OK, So I’ve told you about all the things to AVOID…now CLICK HERE to read my article  called Good Online dating Photos that get results

 

Building A Relationship Online

When you begin a relationship with someone you’ve met offline, you can often have a pretty good idea of how things are going to develop.

The first stage

step1It usually starts with physical attraction. That could be a look across a crowded room, a double-take as you’re crossing the street, a sideways glance on the subway or any of the other million ways of making eye contact and hoping it leads to a conversation.

That’s the first stage.

Then there’s the getting-to-know-you stage: the first date, the second date, the weekend dates and eventually, the first all-night date. Those are the weeks and months when you try to figure out how much you like each other, whether you’d be prepared to make the sort of changes that every individual has to make when they become part of a couple, and whether you really do have a future as a pair. It’s a time of adjustment and doubt, but also of hope and expectation. And yes, often of disappointment too. That’s the second stage.

Finally, if all goes well, there’s the shift into permanent couplehood. This is the third, final and longest lasting stage of the relationship when you begin to see the future in terms of “us” and “we” instead of “I” and “me.” That’s the third stage.

A little different

Online, relationships develop a little differently.

First of all, love at first sight is even rarer online than it is offline. While it’s not impossible for you to feel a quick thrill when you spot a pic of a great-looking hottie who lives near you and meets your criteria, it’s not quite the same feeling as suddenly seeing a drop-dead gorgeous person standing next you on the bus or alongside you at the bar. You only get to see fireworks when you meet in the flesh.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Often the relationships that start with the biggest bang can burn themselves out pretty quickly. If online relationships tend to have cooler beginnings that only gives them the opportunity to warm up slowly and develop a heat that burns longest.

It also means you’re less likely to put all your eggs in one basket.

Hundreds of emails

When you spot someone truly fantastic on a dating sitea, your first thought is likely to be that that person must get hundreds of emails.

You’re probably right. They probably do. But that certainly shouldn’t stop you from writing as well. You’ve got nothing to lose except the few minutes it takes to scoot out a quick email—and a lifetime of happiness to gain.

But knowing that you’re certainly not the only person to have seen that profile—and written to the person behind it—will mean that you’re not going to rely on that one option in the same way that you might have done if you’d met them on the bus. What it will do though is free you up to send lots more emails out to lots of other people. If it’s considered bad form to hit on more than one person at a time offline, online it’s the best strategy for lining up successful dates. With less early passion, you don’t just get longer-lasting passion, you also get more chances at a life of passion.

Second stage

That first look and first email marks the end of the first stage of online dating. The second stage is online flirting. This isn’t quite the same as dating. Dating means going out, having fun, meeting in person and checking out the chemistry. Online flirting is nothing more than the quick flurry of short emails that lets you both get a slight feel for each other’s personalities.

Normal and compatible

For the most part, this stage is about not making any mistakes. You each want to make sure that you’re normal people with the kind of compatible social skills that lets you make a go of it. You want to be certain that your new pal—a new pen-pal at this stage—is capable of holding a conversation, shows curiosity about the kinds of things you put on your profile, is genuinely interested in the same things that you are and is capable of communicating. If someone sends you a series of giant emails stuffed with family photos, filled with their entire life history and laying out their opinion on everything from the state of Africa to the sex life of Zebras before you even get a chance to reply to their first effort, then you might think they’re a bit weird.

Similarly, if they take a month to send a reply to your “I’m fine, thanks for writing. How are you?” it’s a fair bet that they’re going to be too flaky to build a reliable relationship.

Once you’ve both decided that you can each write a normal email as well as create an inviting profile, you can then begin to move the relationship offline.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Online dating tips: How to write a first message that gets results (Part 3)

Writing a first email to someone with an interesting profile is dead easy (To see Part 1 of this article CLICK HERE To see Part 2 of this article CLICK HERE)

Long boring emails

Three-word emails cluttering up your inbox might be infuriating, but at least they don’t take long to read. If they’re not the kind of thing that’s likely to get you writing back, you can give them a quick glance and knock them straight out of your inbox.

Emails that seem to last forever are a whole different game. They take ages to read. They contain all sorts of uninteresting information and they describe every little detail of the writer’s life from their love of overripe cheese to how they supercharged their car using nothing more than empty toilet rolls and spit—complete with blueprints, sketches and diagrams

What you’ll rarely find in emails like these is any sign of you. They’ll be all about the writer—and about all of the writer—and pretty much ignore you and your interests.

If an email like that sounds dull to read, just imagine how the date would be.

For two hours, you can expect nothing more than a monotonous monologue that demands that you pay your full attention… and get just about nothing in return.

Of course, if you have the time to read emails that are the length of a short book—and you don’t mind doing it—then you can still look at the profile and see if you think the face outweighs the risk of being bored. They’ve got to be pretty good-looking though to make it worth your while. Long, boring first emails do show that your possible partner-to-be is interested—but mostly in themselves.

If you have a good enough profile, with great pictures and a well-written description, there’s a good chance that you still won’t have enough time to write back to everyone who drops you a line. Many dating sites allow you send automated messages to anyone who writes to you. If you see that you’re getting far too many emails to answer, make sure that everyone who writes gets an automated message back saying that you’re away from the site for a few days but you’ll answer as soon as you can.

Sure, it’s not exactly the truth. But it’s a lot better than saying “You’re one of hundreds who have written to me. If I think you’re attractive enough, I’ll drop you a line. If you don’t hear from me, don’t feel bad.”

The chances are, if you don’t write back in a few days they’ll already have moved on and will assume that you have too. In the meantime, you’ll have kept your options open without actually handing out a rejection that you might later regret.

How you choose who to wrote to will depend of course on what you’re looking for. In general though, you can expect to cut out people who use canned emails, who ask for personal information and who don’t seem to want to spend the time to develop even a short online relationship before taking it out to the real world

Off the Internet, we often find ourselves slapping our foreheads as we make our lonely way home from bars and parties thinking, ‘Why didn’t I say that?!” or “Why didn’t I make my move when I had the chance?”

On the Web, you’ve got the time to think of the right thing to say. You’ve got models you can use to create the kind of approaches that invite responses and get relationships rolling.

But it doesn’t matter how great your first email. It doesn’t matter whether you ask a perfect question that the person you’re writing to will barely be able to resist answering or whether you capture their attention with a truly original letter

The first thing someone’s going to do when they get your email is check your profile.

The fact is, in the end, everything comes down to the profile. If your picture still isn’t professional, if your descriptions are dull, colorless and un-enticing, then it’s still pretty unlikely that you’re going to get a response no matter what you write in the letter.

Your profile is always the most important part of the online dating process…

Online dating tips: How to write a first message that gets results (Part 1)

A properly-prepared profile will attract emails. It will persuade passing singles to drop you a line and it will give you the chance to pick the best of the bunch and choose the people you want to meet for a date.

But successful online daters don’t just wait for emails to come in. They also use their dating site membership to look for partners themselves. They plough through the profiles, take their pick and send out well-written messages that get responses.

How To Write A First message That Gets Results

Online dating has the great advantage of making your first approach easy. Offline, there’s nothing harder, nothing more nerve-wracking, more difficult or more downright embarrassing than walking up to a complete stranger, letting them know that you find them attractive and trying to strike up that initial conversation.

“It takes the nerves of a lion to cross the room—and skin as thick as a hippo’s to cope with the rejection”.

With online dating though, you don’t have to worry that the person who caught your eye will take one look at you and burst out laughing. There’s no scrabbling around for a way to save face, and no long walk back to face your friends. You don’t even need a chat-up line.

A Quick message

You just need a quick messagel—one short paragraph is plenty—that says “I’m interested. Let’s talk.” As long as that email gets you a reply, it’s done its job.

And the way to ensure that your message does its job is to make sure that it contains a combination of introduction, flattery and interrogation.

What To Say, What To Ask And What Not To Do During Your First Contact

If you meet someone attractive at a party, your first instinct is usually to introduce yourself. You want to walk over, say “Hi, I’m…” and find some way to keep the conversation rolling.

Online, that’s not such a great strategy.

One of the differences between the first approach you have to make in a bar or at a party and the first message you send to someone whose profile you’ve seen on the Web, is that online, the person you’re talking to already knows a little about you.

Remember, you also have a profile on the dating site and the first thing someone does when they get your email is to look at it. They’re going to know what you do for a living, where you live, how much of an education you have and even what kind of movies you like to watch.

That’s the sort of personal information that might take a date or two to discover offline. It would certainly take a conversation or two.

Don’t repeat

That means you don’t have to repeat it in your first email.

Your first email shouldn’t be considered an introduction. Instead, think of it as an invitation: an invitation to continue chatting, to get to know you, to see whether you have enough compatibility to take it further

You want to create the impression that you’re a fun, interesting person—who’s also genuinely interested in the person you’re writing to.


What Attracted you

That’s why it’s crucial to mention what attracted you on the profile.

It lets the reader know that you want to get to know that person in particular, not just someone in general. Far too many people on dating sites send out the same email to everyone they spot on the Web—and it’s a terrible idea. Canned responses can be spotted a mile away and they’re about as attractive as someone who walks through a party hitting on just about everyone they see.

Let someone know why you’re writing and you’ll increase the chances that they’ll write back.

Opening Email—Type 1: All About You

”Hi,
I saw your profile and just had to write. I love the way you look in your pictures. That’s a great, warm smile and your kids are really cute. The dog’s smile’s a bit strange though; I don’t think saying “cheese” works with dogs. I teach math in a high school just outside Ventura and I’m also into SCUBA diving. I’d love to know more about you. If you’d like to drop me a line, that would be great.
Best,
Bobbie”

That’s a dead easy email that won’t take you more than a minute to write.

It’s short, and you don’t want your email to be long. No one will want to read a huge message sent by someone they don’t yet know, and emails that go on for page after page just appear scary. They make you look far too intense and demanding for a first approach. When you’re trying to attract someone’s attention for the first time, less is more.

But this email is also a little bit flattering. It starts by explaining why you’re writing (because you saw their picture and were captivated), and then picks out a couple of points in the profile that caught your eye. That shows not just that you read the profile; it also lets you point out that you have something in common.

 Humor

And finally, it includes a touch of humor.

That’s important because you don’t want you first email too look too serious or formal. Dating is supposed to be fun. You’re not writing a cover letter for a job application. Your letter should reflect something of your personality and the way you talk.

Just relax, try not to worry about the format of the email and let the real you flow out.

To write an email like this, all you need is a reason for writing (and if you don’t want to focus on the photo, you can always pick out their taste in music, their occupation or just about anything else on the profile) and one or two things that you can hold a conversation about. That could be family life, sporting choice or anything else.

The biggest strength of emails like this is that they already emphasize that you can do things together and have fun together. On the other hand they don’t force the reader to respond. If the person you’re writing to looks at your profile and is less than curious, impressed or blown away, there’s still a chance that they won’t write back.

 

Opening Email—Type 2: Who Are You?

”Hi,
My name is Bobbie, and after seeing your picture, I just had to write. I know what you mean about diving letting you feel like you’re flying. Kind of strange, huh? You go underwater with a big heavy tank and as soon as you’re down there you’re completely weightless. It’s total freedom. I love it. I have some favorite spots out near the islands where you can get right into the kelp and watch the dolphins. Where do you like to dive, and how do you find the time between kids and school? I find I rarely have time to breathe! Write back, and tell me about yourself!
Best,
Bobbi”

This kind of email makes one important addition to the previous one: it asks questions.

Again, you can begin by introducing yourself, explain why you’re writing and pick out one or two points on the profile. But by asking questions about those points, you turn the email into a conversation. You make it easy for the person to write back—instead of having to think of something to say, they can start by answering your questions—and you even make it rude for them not to.

The easiest types of question to ask are those that refer back to the profile. If someone wrote that they like walking on redwood trails, you can ask them where else they like to go hiking. If they say they like visiting the Met, you can ask which is their favorite section. If they say they like photography, you can ask what they take pictures of.

You know that what you’re asking about is a subject that they enjoy so if you can show that you can hold a conversation about it, you’re already onto a winner. It’s a good sign that when you meet in person you’re going to be able to talk in comfort.

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating tips for the over 40’s: The Right Time To Move Things Offline

If online dating has a disadvantage, it’s that it takes much longer to go from first look to first date. Sure, that disadvantage is certainly outweighed by the fact there are so many people to choose from. It’s also outweighed by the fact that when you do meet, you’ll also know a little bit about them.

A time

But there’s always a time-lag between spotting someone’s profile photo, sending them an email, getting a feel for each others’ potential compatibility and meeting in the flesh for the first time.

It’s always tempting when you see someone who looks good on a dating site to meet them as quickly as possible. If you wait, you feel, there’s always a chance that someone else might snap them up before you get a chance to seal the deal.

And besides, when you’ve spotted someone who looks like they could be a huge amount of fun, you want to start having that fun right now.

….It still pays to wait a little (Please Wait).

If you’re over 40 When you ask to meet someone in the flesh too quickly you first run the risk of scaring your new friend off. (younger people these days don’t seem so scared!) They might feel that they want to check you out a little more. They want to get to know who are, make sure you’re honest, reliable—and really the person it says on your profile. If you come on too strong, you could send the message that you’re too keen, too entranced, or worse, too desperate. Nothing kills a potential new relationship faster than that.

Third Message?

There are no hard and fast rules about how long you should wait before working towards for the date but in general, the third message is often a good time. By then you’ll have already asked the first questions that were at the top of your mind, you’ll have figured out whether the person you’re writing to is impressed by the way you look on your profile and you’ll have a fairly good idea about the level of your compatibility.

Chemistry

By the time you reach that stage, the only way to check whether there’s any real chemistry is to meet in the flesh.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t even mention a real date before the third message. You certainly can, and some people will find it reassuring to know that you’re serious about making a real go of a new relationship and won’t be satisfied by keeping it virtual. It is possible to hint at the date in the first email as long as you don’t push it too hard. You can say something like:

Hi
I just have to say that that’s a great picture of you on the beach — and a very cute dog. I’m a 31-year old teacher living just outside San Diego, and like you, I’m into horror flicks, Thai food and hiking. (Although I can probably skip the mountain climbing — it’s hard enough climbing out of bed in the morning.) Where do you like to hike? I’ve found a great route near the coast that runs alongside a couple of streams with fantastic views out to the sea. My dog certainly likes it…
You look like a great person and I’m sure you’d be a lot of fun to meet.
Jane

That shows that you’re genuinely interested

The alternative

The aternative to asking for a date too soon is to leave it too long. That can be just as bad, and sometimes even worse. Not only because the longer you leave it, the greater the odds that you’ll lose your chance, but also because you want to go into the first date vaguely familiar with the person you’re about to meet but still curious enough to have a string of questions.

Nothing to say

You don’t want to arrive at the first date and find that you’ve got nothing to say to each other because you’ve already said it all in the emails.

And you also don’t want to go with a giant bank of expectations.

The longer your email conversation and the more you enjoy reading and writing your messages, the greater the chance that you’ll absolutely believe that you’re going to hit it off right from the get-go. That’s certainly possible. It’s even likely. But it’s not guaranteed.

Virtual vs Real

Unfortunately, there’s not always a direct link between the warmth of a virtual relationship and the heat generated at the start of a real one. Three emails and out is a pretty good rule, but the best rules are made to be broken and ultimately the best time to move from a Web meeting to a real meeting is when you feel ready so trust your gut on this one.

If the question feels awkward to ask, there’s probably a good reason: you ain’t there yet. Keep chatting, keep writing and keep going until the real relationship develops…

 

Dating online? Regardless of your age, an important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!