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How to flirt online: 3 success keys and 10 email enticers

Are you ready to jump into the online dating game? With 50 million active subscribers to dating services in the U.S., you just can’t overlook this opportunity if you are single.

Once you enter this wide web of daters, what can you write in emails to entice your top picks to share coffee talk with you? What are the secrets to flirting online?

When jumping online, use these 3 Online Flirting Success Keys and 10 Email Enticers that can help you get to first dates faster.

These advice tips are based on hundreds of interviews with active internet daters for my book, SMART Man Hunting -How to Get Out There, Get Dates, and Get Mr. Right (or Ms. Right).

3 Online Flirting Success Keys:

  1. Keep it Simple: Use light-hearted emails with an upbeat tone to attract dates online. A 40-something female painter shared, ” Make your responses simple and use easy questions in your emails to flirt.” There is no need for long emails either. A 42-year-old Accountant told me, “I can tell if I am interested in 3-4 sentences.”
  2. Humor is your Ally: A 35-year-old male film editor from Baltimore told me, “It depends on the person. You need to be able to read the person to tell what kind of humor you can get away with. Humor is definitely sexy and so is confidence because girls pick that up.”
  3. Hand out Compliments: One of the best ways to flirt online is to extend a sincere compliment. One 28-year-old Financial Analyst told me, “I always try to say something subtle, but sincere.” You might say to someone who plays the guitar, “I think it is awesome that you play guitar.” She added, “Be sincere and don’t throw out phony baloney.”

10 Email Enticers

Try these 10 Email Enticers that can help you ignite sparks online in your emails. Your goal should be to get a first date fast. Keep it light and inviting:

  1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?
  2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?
  3. What is your favorite thing to do on a Sunday with a date for fun?
  4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?
  5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?
  6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
  7. What is your favorite romantic comedy movie? Why?
  8. How long have you been sailing? (ask about something in their profile).
  9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (compliment something in their photograph).
  10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

Have some fun using humor and keep it simple when using these email enticers to flirt online. You will have better luck using levity and sincere compliments.

If your gut is not good, move on after a few email exchanges. You don’t want to spend too much time online because you really can’t gauge the chemistry until the first date. After three email exchanges, if a guy is not talking about a first date, just say Next!

For more internet dating advice, you can read about how to find the quality in the flood of emails, protect your privacy with safety tips and learn from he said/she said success stories in SMART Man Hunting.

Happy Hunting!

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Ten best ways to fail miserably at CyberRomance

Are you making those mistakes when dating online?

Are you making those mistakes when dating online?

1. Passivity. Just put your profile on a dating site and then do nothing. The older you are (over 35, especially for women), the gender you are (Men under 40, women over 40), the more obstacles you have that effect your marketability (too tall, too short, too heavy, not attractive enough, not enough hair, etc), the less likely it will be that your ideal someone will get in touch with you first.

2. Rudeness. Don’t answer emails of people who don’t meet your exact criteria. And if you do answer, do not be kind and/or polite in saying “no.”

3. Lying. About your age. About your marital status. About what you look like. The best way? Post an old photo or one that grossly exaggerates your looks.

4. Laziness. Rather than once a day, check your email only when you feel like it. Take your time replying to emails. Do not allow for time for thoughtful responses to potential Sweethearts. Don’t print off their profiles and emails. Don’t make any effort to remember their names or details of their lives.

5. Generalizations. Think and say and of the following as often as possible: “There are no good men out there. All men are interested in is one thing. All women want is a fat wallet. All the good ones are married. All the good ones are gay.” If that’s what you are looking for, that is what you will find.

6. Rigidity. Decide what you must have and be totally unwilling to change or deviate from perfection. Refuse to consider relocating. Insist on changing nothing in your life and that potential Sweethearts totally accommodate to you.

7. Negativity. Crab about the opposite sex or your ex-partner. Be gloomy, nasty, or critical. Complain about the restaurant, the waiter, the food, the weather. Reject and/or argue about every subject your partner brings up. Criticize anything he or she tries to do to please you.

8. Perfectionism. Put off looking for a Sweetheart until you lose ten pounds, get yourself in better shape, fix up your apartment, get a new job, or have your nose fixed. Insist that he or she be perfect, too, and reject anyone who is not.

9. Be unrealistic about what you have to offer and what you can expect in exchange. Overestimate what you can expect in a partner, for instance, somebody rich to rescue you from your own poor financial planning. Or only look for “arm candy,” a pretty or handsome other that will reflect positively on you — you hope. Or underestimate your personal assets, like kindness and stability, or his — loyalty and perseverance.

10. Ambivalence. Don’t get absolutely clear that having a life partner has top priority in your life. Have reservations about how much you are willing to reasonably do. Say that you want a relationship, but act as if you don’t. Thoroughly mix your messages and confuse everyone around you about your intent. Makes sure that nothing changes, and nothing will.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Kathryn Lord ©  All Rights Reserved

How to Know if You’ve Been Sent a “Form Email”

How can you tell if the email you just received was sprayed from a hose or expresses real interest?

How can you tell if the email you just received was sprayed from a hose or expresses real interest?

On a dating site, any reasonably attractive woman with a decent picture and a half  decent profile will get emails. Guys? Not so much.

The same dynamic that makes women wait for men to hit on them in the real world works on the Web as well. If men want some attention they need to step up their game.

They need great photos and a compelling and unique profile.

The men who figure out this formula do extremely well online. They end up with a host of beautiful women to choose from.

But they’re rare. Most men on dating sites still haven’t figured out how to market themselves. They still use crappy photos and dull profiles. They get hardly any responses, and when they get ignored, some get desperate.

Instead of improving the way they look, they play the numbers. If only one woman in ten writes back to them and only one in ten of those produces a date, they assume they just need to write to more women.

So these guys send emails to EVERYBODY! They forget about being selective, write one email and spray it at everyone on the dating site.

They’re a kind of human “email hose.” And they’re the kind of guys you really want to avoid.

So how can you tell if the email you just received was sprayed from a hose or expresses real interest? There are few tell-tale signs:

They’re the first in line.

The first emails you receive on a dating site are likely to be hosed. Sprayers believe that new users are clueless and will be so happy to get an email that they’ll reply right away. They’ve also hit on everyone else already. So they monitor lists of “new members” and check “who’s online” carefully looking for new faces.

The email is impersonal.

“Form emails” are cut and pasted. They make no reference to anything in your profile.

Here’s a real example:

“You seem like you might be a lotta fun. We should grab a drink sometime.”

There’s no chance that this guy read the profile. He just pasted his message into the box and hit Send. If he didn’t give you the time of day, why should you give him any of your time?

The message contains a profile.

If the email repeats information from the profile, like his age, where he lives or the color of his eyes, there’s a good chance it’s a “form email.” It’s all about the sender (who doesn’t change) and nothing about the recipient (who does). Here’s another real example:

“My name is Michael. I am a 48 year old man near Del Mar. I am originally from England and came to San Diego 18 years ago for my work . I would love to chat with you Looking forward to hearing back from you”

It’s not hard to spot a “form email” — and it’s just as easy to delete them. Reply only to the personal emails that clearly indicate that the person has read your profile. You want someone who really wants to know you, not the kind of guy who approaches every woman at a bar.

Did you ever reply to a form email? Care to share?

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!