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What you should never put on your dating profile

Your dating site profile should always be positive. It should show that you’re a happy, contented person who wants to be even happier and more contented, not a sad, lonely person who wants someone to cheer them up.
Nothing puts people off more than the whiff of desperation. No one wants to be a cheerleader for a losing side; they want to be part of the winning team.

Dating in New York for Women

Dating in New York can be a challenge or an adventure!

An unfair advantage to NYC men

Men in the Big Apple have an advantage. There are more single women than single men in New York City, NYC guys have a little bit of arrogance when it comes to women, (If there are so many single women compared to single guys they are in no hurry to commit to any one woman and if they aren’t getting exactly what they want during a date they have no problem ending it fast…perhaps this is the reason why)

It’s been said that women in New York compromise what they really want in their man in order to have a dating life.

So what advice can we give Female New Yorkers to help them feel optimistic?

Popular dating Advice

I’ve heard it said that a good strategy for NYC women is to keep it casual and relaxed and make sure that a man interested in her understands that she is open dating other guys; this is supposed to give him the message that other men are also interested in her which validates his interest in her. Also it’s a strategy designed to get men to compete against each another when it comes to female attention…. (By telling him that there are other guys out there it will make him want to be the best man and try really hard. )

Bad Strategy

The problem with this strategy is that.

1. There are more women so the guy doesn’t have to work too hard.
2. It’s manipulative
3. We guys aren’t so smart so might just think you’re not interested in us

What can a woman in New York do?

I think that there are 3 winning strategies that a woman in New York can have:

1. You need great photos!
2. You need a good written profile
3. You need a dating strategy


1.You need great photos!

I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve met who think they have good dating photos but don’t;
As an expert on Dating Profile Photos I’ve looked at a ton of photos and spoken with thousands of people They ALL tell me that their photos are fine until I share with them what’s wrong and then they see exactly why they are failing miserably!

If you’re NOT getting the dates you deserve, are feeling lonely or are meeting the wrong sort of people – then you could have a “Dating Photo blind spot.” (Due to not posting a specific kind of photo.)

People blame dating websites for lack of matches, or worse end up feeling unattractive or unable to meet someone special and find lasting love, yet it doesn’t have be this way.

First impressions are important- and that’s especially true when you’re dating online…most people online won’t even look at a profile unless the pictures have won their attention.

You do this yourself. You put effort into thinking about what you want from a partner, understanding what you really want and make your online written profile as friendly, upbeat and interesting as possible… and what do you do when you reach a dating site?

You look first at the pictures.

When you’re browsing the dating search results, a picture is the first thing you see. And if you don’t immediately like what you see, it will be the last you see of that single.

Exactly the same thing is happening to you.

You might have a sparkling personality and interests that match exactly those of the person checking out your picture, but if your photos aren’t as impressive as your character, you won’t get any more than a glance at your page.

“Your photo is your ID. It’s the first thing people see before they start reading and digging in for all the juicy details.”
Ourtime.com

“If you don’t have a selection of great looking profile photos then it’s going to be much harder to get you the great results that you want. The bottom line is better photos get you better dates – with better people. Unappealing photos get unappealing dates – with unappealing people!
The Amazing Clarks” (Relationship Experts on the Dr. Drew TV show)

For further specific advice on Dating photos sign up for Dating Profile Photo secrets (on the homepage of www.lookbetteronline.com

2. You need a good written profile

Create a well written Profile and create more interest…so that people who like your photos will want to meet you. Many women make the fundamental mistake of writing way too much here! So don’t forget that the purpose of a profile is to get someone’s attention not give them your life history!

3. You need a dating strategy

With more women than men you need to have a strategy for the way that you date and the way you go on dates!
The good news is that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel, there are Experts out there who can help you meet someone special

For New Yorkers I’d like you to meet one such expert, her name is Tracey Steinberg; She’s smart, authentic, easy to talk to and she’s a “Dateologist” who can help you with a winning strategy to find that someone special!

Tracey was voted one of the ten best dating experts in the world by DatingAdvice.com.

Helped a lot of people

Tracey has helped a lot of people feel more joy on a daily basis and find love.

She’s been featured on her own dating advice TV show (called “Dating Help 911) and well as  “On Air with Ryan Seacrest,” Fox News, CNN, HLN, TV Land, ABC News Radio, WNBC, WCBS, Huffington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Men’s Health Magazine, Cosmopolitan Magazine, The New York Post and The New York Daily News. (To find more about Tracey click here )

Dating Profile Photo Tips: (Before taking Dating Profile Photos)

I’m amazed at how much money people (women especially) spend on hair and clothes in preparation for getting great profile photos only to turn up at the online dating photographer’s looking tired or stressed!

A good online dating photographer

Will tell you to get a good night’s sleep the night before the photo session. (Avoid partying that night; alcohol and cigarette smoke, even second hand smoke, can make eyes look red and puffy). Smokers should hold off immediately before the shoot; cigarettes deprive the skin of oxygen and make it look gray.

Avoid wearing sunglasses for a couple of hours before the shoot; they leave marks on the bridge of the nose

No Experiments

Don’t experiment with skin treatments the night before the photo session, though. The last thing you want is a skin irritation or allergic reaction.

On the day of the shoot itself, (If you’ve chosen to hire an online dating photographer) you should know how to reach the location, relaxed and with plenty of time to spare…turning up late and stressed will give you awful photos

Just show up and enjoy

And don’t forget, with the right online dating photographer your job is just to show up. You’re not required or expected to know any modeling poses or to present your best angle. If you are fretting over real or imagined flaws and how they will look on camera, a good photographer can work around those concerns during the shoot.

Some Good Advice

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates; See how our great dating photographers who create profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Profile Photo Tips for Christians

Choose your advice carefully

Whether you’re 25 or 95, having great online photos is essential to your profile. However getting good advice on posting dating profile photo can prove to be a frustrating experience. Many articles advise women to show more cleavage and men to look mysterious and aloof by not smiling. This is terrible advice for anyone seeking a healthy, long-term meaningful relationship.

ChristianCafe.com has much stricter photo standards that other dating websites (probably because it’s also the only major Christian dating site which is actually Christian owned). They don’t permit photos showing cleavage, bikini shots, or shirtless men.

Love not lust

The important reason for this is that while they recognize that physical attraction is very important in a relationship and often the spark which initiates the relationship, the focus is on long term, healthy relationships between Christians and not short term, physical relationships which often fail. (The key is to be guided by love not lust.)

The idea here is to give you some simple advice on looking your best online and NOT to focus too heavily on the physical (or worse, sexual attraction with complete strangers on the internet-as this won’t bring you any lasting happiness.)

A specific kind of photo

Most of us know that we need good photos when online dating but- after looking at data from 11,400,000 profile photos we found that there is a specific kind of photo that gets people more attention online (For full disclosure: I’ve take the data we collected and using a little “common sense” adapted it to make it appropriate for Christian’s.)

CLICK HERE to get Profile photos and enter Promo code “christian” on checkout to save $40

I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve met who think they have good dating photos but don’t (ironically I nearly missed meeting my Fiancé because she had blurred photos.) People blame dating websites for lack of matches, or worse end up feeling unable to meet that someone special and find lasting love when it’s often their photos that are holding them back form meeting someone special

And while it’s not all about Physical attraction first impressions are important- and that’s especially true when you’re dating online…most people won’t look at a profile unless the pictures are good enough to hold their attention.

The Right Image Produces the Right Responses

There’s a difference between a photo that generates lots of responses and a photo that generates a life-long relationship.

A photo shouldn’t just show what you look like; it should also show who you are.

For example, if you’re a little edgy then a preppy photo will attract responses from people who won’t be great matches. Conversely, nice guys don’t wear ripped tee-shirts and show attitude, even if people tell you that those are the looks that get responses.

And women, while some people will tell you that cleavage shots might bring women more messages, AVOID them. (As I said earlier in this article be guided by love not lust.)

Success in online dating isn’t based on the number of responses. Forget the dating advice that you need to have lots of replies…You don’t need to bring in lots of replies; all you need is that one special person for you!.

Clothes Count

What you wear in your dating photo is as important as what you wear on the date.

You should look smart and casual at the same time- show that you clean up well without looking stiff and formal. And remember that casual doesn’t mean a dirty shirt and baggy sweats. Too casual suggests that you don’t care what people think-

Before heading to the shoot, put together several different outfits in strong, solid colors that look good on you.

When picking your clothes, try to put together more than one look for the profile. A dressy outfit would show you ready for a dinner and a more laid back outfit would let the viewer imagine walking with you on the beach or sitting under a tree, enjoying a picnic.

Arrive for the photo session in the dressier look; it’s always easier to dress down as the photo session progresses than to try to dress up.

Avoid busy patterns, prints, stripes, paisley, and elaborate designs. Stick to classic looks that won’t date and choose colors that look good with your skin tone. If you’re not sure what those are, there’s a ton of advice online that will help match shades to skin.

Also your outfits should be kept on hangers, not folded in a bag, so that they don’t wrinkle for the photo-shoot, and a lint roller always comes in handy for removing those flecks of cat hair.

Finally, (and we might have to break this to you gently) before the shoot, ditch the sunglasses and take off the baseball cap; As that the eyes are the window to your soul don’t take photos wearing sunglasses? You may think that wearing sunglasses looks cool but you’ll simply make it difficult for that someone special to see your face. And guys if you’re wearing a cap most women will assume its hiding a bald spot.”

Glamor Shots, Make-Up and Hair

A glamor shot is never about creating a photograph that shows your real personality. It’s about creating a shot the photographer finds the most pleasing. The photographer will often use heavy make-up, hair styling, unnatural lighting and lots of post-production retouching.

The result might be fantastic but it fails online…

People avoid these types of dating pictures because they know no one looks like that in real life — and if they do bite, they avoid them after the date because they didn’t measure up to the dating photos on the profile.

When it comes to using a make-up artist before having a picture taken, guys can do without. Women probably can too if they’re a dab hand with the mascara. One easy option is to stop off at the cosmetics counter at a nearby department store for a free make-up session on the way to the shoot.

Also know that spending hundreds of dollars on hair and make-up can backfire. If you can’t re-create the same glammed-up, flawless look for your dates, you’ll disappoint.

When your profile photos don’t look like you, they don’t serve their purpose.

When doing your own make-up, keep it natural. Apply using natural window light even if that means using a room other than the bathroom. Good lighting is essential to a good, even application.

Lips look great when shiny, either from transparent or colored lip gloss. (Matte, dark lipstick tends to have an aging effect in photos, so it’s best avoided.)

Face foundation and powder should be matte and exactly match neck and body skin tone, so that it
becomes invisible. You’d be amazed at how many women think they are wearing a perfect skin

tone color, when in reality the foundation is visibly darker or lighter than the true skin tone of their

neck. The camera sees everything, so you might want to update your make-up supply before their session.

And forget about that “age-defying” mineral foundation that contains light reflecting particles to give a youthful look. While it might look great in real life, it’s not camera-friendly. Self-tanners and bronzers will invariably make skin look orange, and glittery body lotion or make-up tends to show up in pictures as little white flecks.

Shine is the enemy of photography. Dewy skin is attractive in real life, but in photos it looks like an oil slick, so skin should be matte.

Eye shadow can look darker in photos, so if you normally wear a dark color, think about using a lighter shade for their photo session. Mascara, though, will make eyes appear brighter.

Grey hairs and dark roots are also something the camera sees, so if you color your hair, try to have it done no more than a few days before the session.

Ultimately, you should style your hair the way you would normally wear it to a date. If the shoot will take place outdoors, hair spray will tame flyaway strands away from face and hair, hands and nails may also end up in the shot. A plain clear nail polish always works. For dry lips, bring Chap Stick and for dry eyes, there’s Visine.

Guys have it easier but it’s worth spending a few minutes the day before the shoot tweezing away facial hairs to eliminate nose hair or unibrow.

CLICK HERE to get Profile photos and enter Promo code “christian” on checkout to save $40

What to know if you take your own photos

As stated earlier we looked at the data of over 11,400,000 profile photos and found that there is a specific kind of photo that gets people more attention online?

We found that:

The type of camera you use has a huge effect on how good you look in your pictures”

AND

“Interchangeable lens cameras (digital SLRs) make you look more attractive than point and shoot cameras, and MUCH better than a camera phone”.

The reason that they say this is that the specific kind of photo that will get you the best results is one where the subject (That’s you) is photographed in Sharp focus while the rest of the picture is blurred.

Look at these photo examples and notice how the subject (that’s me) is in sharp focus while the rest of the picture is blurred.
Photos (Like these) feel more intimate and personal; they get a better viewer response.

Posting photos in this style WILL get you noticed more, and getting noticed online means a better chance of finding that someone special!

You’ll either know someone who has the skills and Camera to take these specific kind of photos OR you’ll need to hire a professional photographer who really “understands what they are doing”

Remember…Photos where you’re in sharp focus while the rest of the picture is blurred.

Before taking your photos

I’m amazed at how much money people (women especially) spend on hair and clothes in preparation for getting great profile photos only to turn up for the session looking tired or stressed!

Get a good night’s sleep the night before you take your photos, avoid wearing sunglasses for a couple of hours before the shoot; they leave marks on the bridge of the nose and don’t experiment with skin treatments the night before the photo session, though. The last thing you want is a skin irritation or allergic reaction.

On the day of the shoot itself, if you’ve chosen to hire a professional you should know how to reach the location, relaxed and with plenty of time to spare…turning up late and stressed will give you awful photos

After the Shoot: When to Retouch?

Photo retouching is best left to remove a stray hair, to correct color and lighting or help someone who has a minor acne breakout or razor burn, but no more than that.

“Often people work too much and get bags under their eyes for lack of sleep. Digital retouching can remove a few minor lines and show them looking their best. But if you have a mole the size of a quarter on your forehead, and you want it removed,  people are going to notice and there is no point looking like someone you don’t in real life.”

Retouching should enable you to look as you do on your best day. It shouldn’t change a body or a look….stick to “Light retouching” at most.

Some Good Advice

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photosis important.
CLICK HERE to get Profile photos and enter Promo code “christian” on checkout to save $40

Bad dating advice to avoid

When it comes to dating everyone has an opinion.
Here are 2 of the WORST dating tips that I’ve heard!

1. Play hard to get

Don’t be available for a last minute dates…and wait before calling or texting him/her back.
Here’s the logic is to show them that you have a great life full of good things and great friends, who make you important and make them, want you. The problem with this advice is that you’ll risk missing some wonderful spontaneous moments and that you can miss quality people who just don’t like playing this game. Another version of this advice is the phrase “Treat em mean, keep em keen”-which is a guarantee to drive away anyone with good self-esteem

2. Don’t sleep with your date until “x” number of days

Some people advise that the longer you wait until you have sex the better relationship that you’ll have and then there are others who advise you to sleep with people more quickly (as if you’re not sexually compatible that it’s best to find out before you’re in love with someone.)
Now I’m not here to moralize, but what I do know is that you need to work out this number for yourself, for some people it may be no sex before marriage, for others it’ll work much faster…the key is to think about what works for you and avoid advice of others

Some Good Advice

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating after Divorce

dating after divorce memeBefore you jump back into dating, make sure that you feel OK (And by OK I mean that you are happy with who you are) If you go on dates expecting to find your happiness in others then things will likely be tough for you. (men and women are often left broke and sad after a divorce) and while I’m not saying don’t date until everything is perfect…just try not to date when emotionally you know you’re vulnerable or needy

Thinking that people are like your ex.

Trust can be difficult after you’ve been hurt by an ex-wife or ex-husband is difficult.
But trust is essential for a healthy relationship…if you don’t trust people then it will destroy your chance of finding someone new.
Take some tome to work through this and put the baggage down!

Don’t rush things!

So you’ve been single and you miss feeling someone’s arms around you..yet don’t rush into things. When you get back into the dating world, take things slowly, and don’t feel bad about dating at a slower pace……you need to be able to relax a little and be yourself…don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. And don’t worry about what anyone might think of you.

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit www.LookBetterOnline.com and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

New Dating Website ‘Jess Meet Ken’

“If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me that she had been approached by a creepy guy online, then I’d be a rich man”.

Many women
Many women feel overwhelmed when it comes to online dating as they get many unwanted emails from “Creeper-in-the-bushes-kind-of-guys” or men who are totally unsuited to them!
But it no longer has to be a challenge as recently a new Boston-based dating website are in the process of changing things!

Jess, Meet Ken,  launched last month, had the brilliant idea of putting the control of making and finding dates in the hands of women daters.

As easy as 1-2-3-4

The idea is super-simple-And its based on human nature! (remember your friend’s wife who tried to set you up with her girlfriends a few years ago?)

Step 1.
Women  log onto the JessMeetKen website through Facebook and select a man in their lives that they love and trust in a friendly way (And all the Facebook data stays private too)

Step 2.
Then they answer 10 questions about him-then fill out a short profile saying why he’s a catch. All the guy has to do is agree to take part.

Step 3.
When a woman sees a guys profile that your another woman has posted then the women take it from there, and message each other, ask questions and find out if the guy might be a good match.

Step 4.
If the women think it’s a good match then they can get in touch with the lucky guy!

Again the control is in the hands of the women so if a single woman finds a man that she’s interested in meeting or getting to know, she gets in touch with the woman who posted that guy.

All guys are vouched for and cannot post their own profiles

The site’s CEO and co-founder, Ken Deckinger told me  “All the guys on the website are vouched for and recommended by a woman.”

Women are more honest with each other about what’s attractive about the man and this definitely avoids the “Creepy guy vibe” as most creepy guys don’t have many women friends to vouch for them!…This is a HUGE plus in my opinion and I’m sure a lot of women will agree…I”ll say it again a HUGE plus for women

Men cannot post their own profiles….Women search the profiles and then reach out to the woman who posted their guy friend to make the connection.

All kinds of women can post guys!

and ANY women can post a man to JessMeetKen for other women to look at!
It could be a
Male friend or a Cousin or a Son or a Brother!

 

So How Did Jess meet Ken!

I like this site as it’s Founded by real people with real stories!
Ken knows that this kind of dating works-it’s how he met his wife Jess. Here’s how it happened:
Ken’s friend and Business partner Adele posted his profile on a dating site, adding his photo and a few words about why Ken was fabulous.
When Jess spotted Ken’s profile and asked Adele for more info Adele immediately spotted a match. She forwarded Ken Jess’s note with the subject line: “Holy S#*% it’s Your Wife.” He says 20 minutes into their first date they knew they were going to get married.

Definitely worth a try

Simply stated  I highly recommend signing up for this website., it’s a great idea from great people.
To visit JessMeetKen CLICK HERE

Could a man see you as Needy or Cold? (Dating Profile Mistakes for women)

Your dating profile could be too Needy or t0o Cold

UntitledI read a thousand women’s profiles and to a man many of them are either “Needy” or “Cold”.

Here are statements I see every day “I’ve waited my life for the perfect man and now it’s our time” or “I’m ready to be his one.” and “I’m looking for a love that’s devoted”

What the man reads

What the man reads is: “I rely on relationships for my happiness” or  “I want to spend all my time right next to you and never leave you alone” and “I have impossible expectations”

While there may be a romantic element to these statements- Please don’t put it  put in a dating profile- A good guide is “If you wouldn’t say it then don’t write it”.

Too Cold

The other side of the coin is that a women’s dating profile can end up too “Cold”…as if they don’t need a man

Women over 40 are the worst at this! They sound like they have no room in their busy lives for a relationship.
Statements like “I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to have one in my life.” Or, “I’m fine without a partner but I’ll make room only for the right one” are hardly going to make a guy feel special, or wanted, or show that you are available but still Thousands of women write these statements.

Remember

Guys want to feel needed yet not smothered…
And if you’re not sure about how much to write then shorter is usually better (Guys look at the photos more anyway!)

Something else to think about!

The stats are in on good dating photos. The more effort you put into looking your best, the more romantic options you’ll have and the better choices you have to avail yourself of. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll want options going forward and whether you have one or two or dozens, you’ll want every one of them. Good photos give you options. Once you settle on one of your new options, the heartbreak you felt a month ago or a year ago will be a distant memory. Just like your ex…

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating frustration-My message was read but not responded to

Frustrated

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about online dating is when you discover that a message that you sent was read but NOT responded to.
Or perhaps someone viewed your profile yet failed to send you a message.

Simple reasons

Do you ever wonder why?
It’s usually 1 of 3 simple reasons!

1. It’s just not the right time they have plans this week or something just came up-Last minute Job interview, sick dog etc…)
2. They are just not your type (Nothing you can do about this)
3. Your Profile Photos or written profile are average and not OUTSTANDING (In which case get new profile photos and/or a written profile