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Are You Saying Too Much — And Saying The Wrong Thing?

After years of dating, you’ve probably got the basics down pretty well, even if it’s been a while since you had to use them. You know how to dress, what to ask, how to behave to show interest, and how to tell whether you’ve found a winner… or another loser.

Online, many of those skills go out of the window. Putting on your best duds is going to have a limited effect in a small portrait, and trying to get across that you’re both humorous and humble isn’t easy when you’re trying write  an essay that’s all about you.

And then there are the mistakes. You might know better than to blab on about your ex on a date or chat on your mobile when things get dull but on a profile, the errors are more subtle. The effects though can be just as devastating to your love life.

One of the most common mistakes is making small things look big. Because you can’t say much on a profile, whatever you do say looks like the most important element in your life. Write that you like playing golf, for example, and a reader will assume that you’re on the green every weekend whacking balls and fishing your club out of the pond. That could put off people who can’t stand the game. It would also disappoint golf enthusiasts when they learn that you’ve actually only swung a club twice, even if you did quite enjoy it.

The solution is to share the detail. If you say you like running, say how often you run. If you’re a fiend at the grill, mention what you cook and when you’re likely to do it. If you’ve got a political point of view, keep it to yourself… unless you’d rather cut your own throat than share a coffee with a Bushite or split a cake with a Clinton fan. Don’t let your preferences appear to readers as necessities.

And one of the biggest preferences that get overblown online is the preference to be part of a couple. Readers know why you’re online. They understand that you’re looking to start a relationship. Say that you’re fed up being single or even describe with passion the sort of relationship that you’re looking for and you run the risk of looking desperate.

And nothing kills a potential date faster than desperation.

Love has a habit of coming to those who seem to need it least. Look like you’re happy and satisfied — but could be even happier with the right person — and it won’t be long before you are.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Instant Action Steps that Can Take You from Singlehood to Coupledom

Have you ever noticed how the people who find partners the easiest are the people who need them the least? They’re the people who have three parties to go to every Saturday night, who have more friends than they can name and always seem to be happy, smiling and busy.

Love doesn’t just happen. It happens to people who make things happen. They do that by taking action.

Looking The Part Online

It’s the picture. If you still haven’t had a date that’s led you to consider suspending your dating site membership, then the chances are your photograph is holding you back.

Yes, your profile description could need some sprucing up — and we can help with that too — but it’s the photograph that always makes or breaks an opportunity on a dating site.

The chances are, your photograph contains at least one of these common profile errors:

  • It’s cheesy. Lots of people have professional portrait shots lying around that they took years ago in studio — or worse, in a mall. They think that because they were taken by a pro, they must be good.
  • They’re wrong. We reject more than half the photographers who apply to LookBetterOnline because we want photos that show who our clients really are — not photos that show them holding a tulip or grabbing their shirt collars. Who ever does that?
  • It’s indecipherable. If someone has to squint to see you, they’re not going to bother. Far too many photos on dating sites go for the natural at the expense of the expressive. We see the surroundings — they’re big and focused — but we don’t see the face (that’s small and blurry). If someone can’t see you, they won’t date you.
  • It’s says all the wrong things. When people look for a date, they look for the best they can land. That means to get someone who’s at your level of attraction, looks, status and charm, you need a picture that expresses all of those qualities.

Sub-standard pictures always bring sub-standard results.

And there’s really no excuse to have a poor image on a dating site. When you can have a selection of great images to upload for just $149, nothing should be holding you back. Find a photographer now.

Don’t Tell Me Who You Are, Tell Me What You Do!

Read the first 150 pages or so of Jane Austen’s Pride And Prejudice, and you’ll discover two things. You’ll learn that Darcy is proud and Elizabeth Bennet is prejudiced.

Jane Austen didn’t need 150 pages to tell us that. She could have done it in a sentence: “Darcy is proud and Elizabeth Bennet is prejudiced.” But that would have told us nothing. We’d have wondered what Darcy was proud of, what Elizabeth Bennet was prejudiced about. And every reader would have had a different idea of how that pride and prejudice would have affected their behavior.

That’s why Jane Austen shows us Darcy being sniffy at the ball and describes how Elizabeth behaves in his company.

It’s only by seeing people in action and understanding what they do — and like to do — that we can understand who they are.

What does this have to do with online dating?

The most common mistake that online singles make is to try to describe their personality. If it took Jane Austen 150-odd pages to describe the personalities of her characters, what makes you think you can do it in 150 words?

Instead of using the usual list of adjectives to try to summarize who you are (“I’m passionate, loyal and adventurous, etc…”) describe what you like to do.

If you say that you spent last weekend base-jumping, we’ll know you’re adventurous. If you say that you’re the type of person who’s prepared to pick up a friend from the airport at 3am in a snow storm, we’ll know you’re loyal. And if you say that you never miss a Cardinals game, we’ll know you’re passionate… and what you’re passionate about.

No adjective that you use to describe your personality can ever say who you are. Everyone uses the same terms on their profile even though everyone is different and everyone reads those descriptions differently.

But when you say exactly what you like to do, fill it with detail and say what  you get out of it, we’ll get to see your personality. And more importantly, we’ll get to see what life with you will be like.

And that’s the real goal of your profile.

Is Your Profile All It Could Be? Find Out With A Profile Review

Online dating profile, before and after example

Online dating profile, before and after example

Writing an effective dating site profile isn’t easy. It’s no small thing to blow your own trumpet without hitting a bum note that puts off potential partners.

That’s why at LookBetterOnline, we offer a Profile Review service.

A professional profile writer will look at your profile, tell you what works, what doesn’t… and give you some practical tips to make improvements.

You’ll still have to make the changes yourself but you’ll end up with a profile that’s improved, effective… and all you.

Ask for a Profile Review here.

How to Find Love During a Dateless Weekend

It’s easy to rationalize being single. When you have to hold down a full-time job, who has time to go out on dates? When you’re seeing the same friends every week — and you already know their friends — how can you meet someone new? When you have children, how can you fit evenings in clubs and afternoons at barbeques around PTA meetings and soccer games?

Those are the sorts of questions you ask yourself as you settle into another Saturday night with your old friends instead of your new best friend.

But if you spent your last weekend without a date, you can use that experience to make sure your next weekend doesn’t go to waste.

A date-free weekend is the best time to start an online relationship.

You can send winks. You can write emails. And you can even chat online with other singles who also happen to find themselves dining partner-challenged on a Saturday night.

But try dividing the weekend into two. Spend Saturday sending out your messages but use a do-nothing Friday night to spruce up your profile so that those messages get results. Check your description to make sure that it says not just who you are but what you do. Add wit and personality so that readers will understand what a chat with you will be like. And ask questions to make it easy for interested people to write back.

Most importantly, ask yourself whether your picture shows you as you would look if you were heading out for a date… or planning an evening in front of the television. If it doesn’t show you at your best, take the effort to replace it before you spend an hour or two on Saturday making your moves.

Getting all of that right can be a little tricky, so it’s worth looking at how our packages can get your profile ready for some online dating. From just $197, you could have a set of great pictures or a perfectly written profile that could help to make sure that your next weekend is a little more interesting than your last one.

The Secrets of a Successful Profile

It’s supposed to happen quickly. You should be able to join a dating site, shoot out a few winks, follow them up with some emails and in no time at all find yourself sipping cocktails with someone who makes you go “hmm, I like the look of them…”

In practice though, it’s never that simple. Online dating is exactly like offline dating… but with a greater number of people and a wider variety of options. You still have to put in effort. You still have to look the part. You still have to smile, dress up and make people laugh.

But online, you have to do it all before you even meet.

That’s the part that dating sites tend to neglect. They assume you know that dating is all about first impressions, looks and personality.

But they also assume you know how to express those things online.

The truth is that making a good first impression across the Web requires some very special skills.

It requires a photograph that doesn’t just show you, but one that shows you at your best. Your features have to be clear, your look has to be appealing and your appearance has to be relaxed and inviting. A snapshot won’t cut it — any more than wearing jogging pants and a t-shirt will cut it at a party — and neither will an old vacation photo. It’s possible that you might have a good, usable photograph stashed away somewhere on your hard drive but in general few people do have one. They just have photos that make do.

That’s the difference between meeting someone wearing the first thing you picked up off the bedroom floor, and meeting someone wearing your best outfit, while feeling confident and relaxed.

It’s the difference between being just another fuzzy-looking online single and being clearly an attractive partner and an excellent date.

It’s the difference between spending months writing emails or waiting for responses, and receiving plenty of replies and dates as early as this weekend.

LookBetterOnline was created to give singles the most important tool they need to find love online fast: a look that truly reflects them. For as little as $197, we can give you a complete set of pictures designed specifically for dating sites and save you months of fruitless searching. Take look here to find a photographer in your area today, and give yourself a profile that gets results.

What to Look for When Reading a Bio

When you first start browsing the profiles on a dating site, you might well feel spoiled for choice. There are so many singles in your area, in your age group, in your list of potential partners.

Look a little closer though and the picture becomes a little more blurry. After a while, everyone starts to look the same.

One dark, fuzzy picture looks just like another dark, fuzzy picture.

One vacation snap looks like another vacation snap.

And one person who likes to watch movies and listen to music, dress up and dress down, go out and stay in starts to sound like… well, everyone you’ve ever met.

Finding love online means not just reading a lot of profiles but reading between the lines of a lot of profiles.

As always, that starts with the picture. When you look at the photo, ask yourself how much effort went into uploading that image. A poor, unfocused picture might well mean that they’re not serious about finding someone — that they’re not prepared to make an effort to make a good impression.

What does that tell you about the sort of date you can expect with them?

Look too beyond the adjectives in the description, and focus instead on what the person actually likes to do in their spare time. Everyone says they’re passionate, loyal and fun-loving. But if you can discover what they’re passionate about, what loyalty actually means to them and what they find fun, you’ll have a great idea of what life with that person will actually be like.

It might take you an email or two to get that information but even if the profile doesn’t tell you everything you need to know, it can tell you what questions to ask to find out.

Successful online dating is all about standing out from the crowd with a profile that creates an impression, attracts looks and shows you care. At LookBetterOnline, we help online singles create profiles that get results. Order your package from just $197 here.

The Real Secret To Successful Online Dating

Online dating

It’s no surprise that the people who find happiness always seem to be the people who had most of it to begin with.

It’s been a while since dating sites were used only by the desperate and the terminally shy. These days, singles see them as a giant opportunity to find a partner. It’s simple. It’s fun. It’s convenient.

And it gets results… so why bother with the old fashioned ways? Most passes just seem to get rejected, blind dates are about as enjoyable as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, and all the good ones seem to have gone online anyway.

It sounds like a reasonable approach to online dating, and it’s one adopted frequently by recent divorcees who have been out of the dating game for a while and simply don’t get to meet singles at dinner parties.

It’s also an approach that’s likely to end in failure.

The real secret to online dating is that it works best when you use it as just one method of meeting people.

You still have to find a way of starting a conversation with strangers you find attractive. If a friend says that she knows someone who would be perfect for you, you still have to swallow hard and agree to meet them.

And you still have to believe that your singlehood could end at absolutely any minute because there are plenty of good people still out there, and hoping to meet someone just like you.

There are two reasons that dating sites work best when combined with other methods of finding love.

The first is that it means you’re not desperate. Your profile won’t look over-keen, your emails won’t make it clear that you really, really hope they write back, and you’ll make better judgments about the people you want to contact.

When you feel there are plenty of opportunities offline too, you’ll be pickier about the people you see online, and you’ll increase the odds that the people you do meet will be people you’ll want to meet again.

The second reason though is that you’ll be happier. You’ll have a positive attitude towards dating as a whole. You’ll develop an active social life and you’ll see online dating for what it should be: a fun experience that could lead to so much more, not the solution to a never-ending problem.

It’s no surprise that the people who find happiness always seem to be the people who had most of it to begin with. Make sure that you can be happy without online dating, and you’ll find that your website will make you even happier still.

Is Your Profile All It Could Be? Find Out With A Profile Review

Online dating profile, before and after example

Online dating profile, before and after example

Writing an effective dating site profile isn’t easy. It’s no small thing to blow your own trumpet without hitting a bum note that puts off potential partners.

That’s why at LookBetterOnline, we offer a Profile Review service.

A professional profile writer will look at your profile, tell you what works, what doesn’t… and give you some practical tips to make improvements.

You’ll still have to make the changes yourself but you’ll end up with a profile that’s improved, effective… and all you.

Ask for a Profile Review here.

 

Your online profile ad – Write for success

Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties, sign up for various activities and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can introduce you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than a little disappointing. What is a guy/girl supposed to do to find quality people?

Begin by continuing to do what you have been doing. These are all good ways to meet people. However, you may need to expand your search to the world of online dating. This would allow you to expand your search and come into contact with interested and available singles you would never meet in the existing circles in which you now move.

Perhaps you are thinking, “I have already tried this with little or mixed success.” Maybe this too has become a source of disappointment and frustration and even despair. If so, you could be going about it the wrong way, or be in need of some information to put you on a track to better success. The first important step is writing your online profile “ad” and choosing a good site to place it on.

The following are tips to help you write a great online profile.

Be Yourself

The goal of your ad is to attract the kind of person who would be compatible with you. You are looking for someone who shares your goals, values, sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific criteria. If you put in information that is not true to who you are, you could send potentially good dates on to the next ad. You may also attract the kind of person you are not interested in.

Be Sincere

Nothing is more attractive than sincerity. Think about it. Isn’t this a turn-on for you? If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If there is something that is a must-have for you in any future relationship, highlight it. Remember that when and if you move to the next step, the other person will experience you as you really are, regardless of what the picture you drew for them in your ad looked like.

Write Like You Talk

This goes right along with being you. Don’t make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will loose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and check again. There is no bigger turn-off than someone who appears to have poor grammar or spelling.

Be Specific, But Leave Out Hang-Ups and Other Negatives

This is a first step. You want to put your true best forward. The picture you paint should be upbeat and positive. Everyone has a past. It’s not wise too tell too much too soon. If you feel something is important, than put it in. A good example is “single mom”, “divorced father of two”, etc. Leave out the part about looking for someone to help me heal from a painful divorce.

Do not mention past relationships except to inform that you had one.

Highlight Your Uniqueness

There are things about us all that make us uniquely who we are. Let your ad portray this. If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people know about it. If it’s important to you, it tells others much. If someone out there shares it, they will be drawn to what you have written.

Find a unique way to highlight yourself. If you look like someone well known, put that in. Just remember, if you look like Woody Allen, don’t portray yourself as a Robert Redford type.

Avoid classic turn-offs

If you place a heavy emphasis on finding someone who is “beautiful” or “wealthy”, you will turn off many people- often the very people who hope to attract. No one wants to be wanted for his or her looks or bank account. It also says something about you. How about superficial?

Use a Picture

This is very important. Ads that don’t have one get far fewer responses. Many singles are having a professional picture made of them. You want to look like your BEST self. A professional can usually do a much better job at a very reasonable cost if you shop around a bit.

Post Your Ad On The Right Site

There are so many choices out there. Look for one that has a large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. Make sure they have an enforced safety and privacy policy. There are specialty sites for people who seek a partner with a very particular passion or lifestyle. These include but are not limited to: animal lovers, vegetarians, advanced degreed professionals, and sites for people seeking those of the same faith.

If your requirements include someone within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer you a good selection.

Once you have given it careful thought and a little research and energy, write and post your ad for success.

Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Do You Dress Up… And Down, Stay In… And Go Out?

You might think that surfing online dating sites and checking out profiles can only be fun.

You’d be wrong.

While you hope that the next page could reveal the love of your life, blurred pictures and clichéd descriptions can lose their shine after the first dozen or so. In this month’s newsletter, we reveal how to dump the dull phrases and let the real you shine through.

And with online dating now as mainstream as sushi for two, we explain why you still shouldn’t put all your eggs on the Web, and reveal the secret that turns online singles into happy couples.

Read on…

Do You Dress Up… And Down, Stay In… And Go Out?

Log on to any major dating site, and you’ll be told that gazillions of people are members, billions are currently online and millions have already met, married and are living happily ever after. Or almost as many.

With huge numbers of people flooding dating sites, you’d expect that reading a profile would be like opening a new book. Each would be unique, individual and filled with character, just like the person who wrote it.

And yet, spend more than half an hour on any dating site, and you could be forgiven for thinking that you’re looking at a matchmaking company for Stepford Wives.

Every other profile says exactly the same thing. The same phrases turn up on profile after profile:

“I’m comfortable in jeans… and a little black dress.”

“I like going out… and staying in sometimes to watch TV.”

“I like movies, books and music…”

Well, of course you do. Everybody wears clothes, which is what the first phrase says. Everybody likes to leave their house sometimes and to come back to it after a while, which is what the second sentence says. And everyone likes to entertain themselves with entertainment products. That’s what they’re for.

The reader can safely assume that the person behind the profile can wear clothes that suit different occasions. He can also assume that he’ll like to laugh (the laughter itself is usually a giveaway), that he’s loyal to his friends (the people he’s not loyal to are called “bosses”) and that he’s passionate about something (even if it’s lying in bed from Friday night to Monday morning).

There are some things about each other that we can just take for granted. You don’t need to mention them on a profile.

What you can mention on a profile though, is where you go when you get dressed up, which movie you saw last and what you thought of it. And what you’d really like to do if you didn’t have to work for a living and had a private jet at your disposal.

All of those things tell the reader who you are. They tell the reader what’s unique about you and what they can expect life with you to be like. And they do it without wasting space on a profile with phrases that say nothing.

If your profile makes you sound like a robot, cut the clichés and talk about you. It’s what we want to know.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!