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The Real Secret To Successful Online Dating

Online dating

It’s no surprise that the people who find happiness always seem to be the people who had most of it to begin with.

It’s been a while since dating sites were used only by the desperate and the terminally shy. These days, singles see them as a giant opportunity to find a partner. It’s simple. It’s fun. It’s convenient.

And it gets results… so why bother with the old fashioned ways? Most passes just seem to get rejected, blind dates are about as enjoyable as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, and all the good ones seem to have gone online anyway.

It sounds like a reasonable approach to online dating, and it’s one adopted frequently by recent divorcees who have been out of the dating game for a while and simply don’t get to meet singles at dinner parties.

It’s also an approach that’s likely to end in failure.

The real secret to online dating is that it works best when you use it as just one method of meeting people.

You still have to find a way of starting a conversation with strangers you find attractive. If a friend says that she knows someone who would be perfect for you, you still have to swallow hard and agree to meet them.

And you still have to believe that your singlehood could end at absolutely any minute because there are plenty of good people still out there, and hoping to meet someone just like you.

There are two reasons that dating sites work best when combined with other methods of finding love.

The first is that it means you’re not desperate. Your profile won’t look over-keen, your emails won’t make it clear that you really, really hope they write back, and you’ll make better judgments about the people you want to contact.

When you feel there are plenty of opportunities offline too, you’ll be pickier about the people you see online, and you’ll increase the odds that the people you do meet will be people you’ll want to meet again.

The second reason though is that you’ll be happier. You’ll have a positive attitude towards dating as a whole. You’ll develop an active social life and you’ll see online dating for what it should be: a fun experience that could lead to so much more, not the solution to a never-ending problem.

It’s no surprise that the people who find happiness always seem to be the people who had most of it to begin with. Make sure that you can be happy without online dating, and you’ll find that your website will make you even happier still.

Is Your Profile All It Could Be? Find Out With A Profile Review

Online dating profile, before and after example

Online dating profile, before and after example

Writing an effective dating site profile isn’t easy. It’s no small thing to blow your own trumpet without hitting a bum note that puts off potential partners.

That’s why at LookBetterOnline, we offer a Profile Review service.

A professional profile writer will look at your profile, tell you what works, what doesn’t… and give you some practical tips to make improvements.

You’ll still have to make the changes yourself but you’ll end up with a profile that’s improved, effective… and all you.

Ask for a Profile Review here.

 

Your online profile ad – Write for success

Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties, sign up for various activities and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can introduce you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than a little disappointing. What is a guy/girl supposed to do to find quality people?

Begin by continuing to do what you have been doing. These are all good ways to meet people. However, you may need to expand your search to the world of online dating. This would allow you to expand your search and come into contact with interested and available singles you would never meet in the existing circles in which you now move.

Perhaps you are thinking, “I have already tried this with little or mixed success.” Maybe this too has become a source of disappointment and frustration and even despair. If so, you could be going about it the wrong way, or be in need of some information to put you on a track to better success. The first important step is writing your online profile “ad” and choosing a good site to place it on.

The following are tips to help you write a great online profile.

Be Yourself

The goal of your ad is to attract the kind of person who would be compatible with you. You are looking for someone who shares your goals, values, sense of humor, lifestyle and perhaps religion or other specific criteria. If you put in information that is not true to who you are, you could send potentially good dates on to the next ad. You may also attract the kind of person you are not interested in.

Be Sincere

Nothing is more attractive than sincerity. Think about it. Isn’t this a turn-on for you? If you are funny, be funny. If you are serious, be that. Use honesty in describing your traits and desires in a potential mate. If there is something that is a must-have for you in any future relationship, highlight it. Remember that when and if you move to the next step, the other person will experience you as you really are, regardless of what the picture you drew for them in your ad looked like.

Write Like You Talk

This goes right along with being you. Don’t make your ad seem too contrived or rehearsed. You will loose that feeling of sincerity. Write a few drafts and just let the thoughts flow. Then go back and edit it. Make sure you spell check and check again. There is no bigger turn-off than someone who appears to have poor grammar or spelling.

Be Specific, But Leave Out Hang-Ups and Other Negatives

This is a first step. You want to put your true best forward. The picture you paint should be upbeat and positive. Everyone has a past. It’s not wise too tell too much too soon. If you feel something is important, than put it in. A good example is “single mom”, “divorced father of two”, etc. Leave out the part about looking for someone to help me heal from a painful divorce.

Do not mention past relationships except to inform that you had one.

Highlight Your Uniqueness

There are things about us all that make us uniquely who we are. Let your ad portray this. If you have a special talent, interesting career or pastime, let people know about it. If it’s important to you, it tells others much. If someone out there shares it, they will be drawn to what you have written.

Find a unique way to highlight yourself. If you look like someone well known, put that in. Just remember, if you look like Woody Allen, don’t portray yourself as a Robert Redford type.

Avoid classic turn-offs

If you place a heavy emphasis on finding someone who is “beautiful” or “wealthy”, you will turn off many people- often the very people who hope to attract. No one wants to be wanted for his or her looks or bank account. It also says something about you. How about superficial?

Use a Picture

This is very important. Ads that don’t have one get far fewer responses. Many singles are having a professional picture made of them. You want to look like your BEST self. A professional can usually do a much better job at a very reasonable cost if you shop around a bit.

Post Your Ad On The Right Site

There are so many choices out there. Look for one that has a large membership of people who appear to be compatible with you. Make sure they have an enforced safety and privacy policy. There are specialty sites for people who seek a partner with a very particular passion or lifestyle. These include but are not limited to: animal lovers, vegetarians, advanced degreed professionals, and sites for people seeking those of the same faith.

If your requirements include someone within a close geographical distance, look for the sites that offer you a good selection.

Once you have given it careful thought and a little research and energy, write and post your ad for success.

Remember, we attract what we are, not what we want.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Do You Dress Up… And Down, Stay In… And Go Out?

You might think that surfing online dating sites and checking out profiles can only be fun.

You’d be wrong.

While you hope that the next page could reveal the love of your life, blurred pictures and clichéd descriptions can lose their shine after the first dozen or so. In this month’s newsletter, we reveal how to dump the dull phrases and let the real you shine through.

And with online dating now as mainstream as sushi for two, we explain why you still shouldn’t put all your eggs on the Web, and reveal the secret that turns online singles into happy couples.

Read on…

Do You Dress Up… And Down, Stay In… And Go Out?

Log on to any major dating site, and you’ll be told that gazillions of people are members, billions are currently online and millions have already met, married and are living happily ever after. Or almost as many.

With huge numbers of people flooding dating sites, you’d expect that reading a profile would be like opening a new book. Each would be unique, individual and filled with character, just like the person who wrote it.

And yet, spend more than half an hour on any dating site, and you could be forgiven for thinking that you’re looking at a matchmaking company for Stepford Wives.

Every other profile says exactly the same thing. The same phrases turn up on profile after profile:

“I’m comfortable in jeans… and a little black dress.”

“I like going out… and staying in sometimes to watch TV.”

“I like movies, books and music…”

Well, of course you do. Everybody wears clothes, which is what the first phrase says. Everybody likes to leave their house sometimes and to come back to it after a while, which is what the second sentence says. And everyone likes to entertain themselves with entertainment products. That’s what they’re for.

The reader can safely assume that the person behind the profile can wear clothes that suit different occasions. He can also assume that he’ll like to laugh (the laughter itself is usually a giveaway), that he’s loyal to his friends (the people he’s not loyal to are called “bosses”) and that he’s passionate about something (even if it’s lying in bed from Friday night to Monday morning).

There are some things about each other that we can just take for granted. You don’t need to mention them on a profile.

What you can mention on a profile though, is where you go when you get dressed up, which movie you saw last and what you thought of it. And what you’d really like to do if you didn’t have to work for a living and had a private jet at your disposal.

All of those things tell the reader who you are. They tell the reader what’s unique about you and what they can expect life with you to be like. And they do it without wasting space on a profile with phrases that say nothing.

If your profile makes you sound like a robot, cut the clichés and talk about you. It’s what we want to know.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!


The Worst Ways to Start Your Online Dating Profile — Real Examples!

If you’ve spent time on any dating site, you know that after a while, all the profiles start to look and sound the same. Everyone is “loyal,” “passionate,” “honest,” “down-to-earth”… blah, blah, blah.

In this series of articles, we’re going to talk about your online dating profile and explain what you should or should not write in it.

Assuming that you’ve posted  good enough online dating photos to attract attention, people will read your profile so you’ll need to have an exciting start. You’ll need to avoid the clichés that make other daters click “next” faster than the speed of light. You’ll need to stay positive and you’ll need to avoid repeating information already on the page.

Here are some real examples of how NOT to start your profile. It really didn’t take long to pluck them off a dating site:

Openings to Make You Yawn

It’s not these these are bad starts or dishonest ones. They’re just dull and say nothing about any of the interesting things that make the person behind them unique:

  • I am a nice person with a great sense of humor. I love to spend time with my friends and family.
  • I’m looking for an honest, kind, loving person, the girl next door type, a best friend and a lover.
  • I am a simple guy that just wants to find that someone who compliments me.
  • I am an honest, loyal, caring and sincere person.
  • I am a pretty simple person.
  • Hi I’m a hard working man, that works to much.
  • I would describe myself as easy going, reliable, and honest.
  • I’m easy going, laid back, and love life.
  • I am committed to living life to the fullest.

Openings that Just Say No

Negativity doesn’t just bring you down. It also brings down the people you’re with. Who’s going to want to be with a person who starts a profile like this?

  • Disclaimer alert: If you are the type of person that believes not answering a persons email is the way to tell them you’ve changed your mind, then PLEASE move on!
  • I’M NOT INTO GAMES OR DRAMA
  • OK. I’m starting to lose faith in this online stuff.

Openings We’ve Seen Before

Sometimes a cliche can be the quickest way to get across a point. Usually though, it just says that this person has no original thoughts:

  • If your looking for a man that works hard and plays hard with a good family outlook thats me
  • I am looking for a partner, my new best friend
  • I am looking for a woman who can live life to its fullest.
  • I live life to the fullest! Work hard and play even harder!
  • Just looking to meet some fun people to hang out with and see where it goes.
  • Where to begin…… I’m tall, dark and handsome

Openings That Are Really Complaints

People come to dating sites to be happy. That isn’t going to happen if they hitch themselves to someone who’s always complaining about dating sites… like these people:

  • I think describing oneself is (or at least should be) an almost impossible task, but..
  • Oh common, how the heck are you supposed to be able to describe all of your attributes with only space enough for 3500 characters or so?!
  • Where do I start this type of thing is so not me
  • This is the hard part for sure…I never know what to say about myself.
  • Ok, I would much rather talk in person, but here goes.
  • It is hard to describe one self in a few words because we keep learn evolve and change
  • In this box I am supposed to give a short description of myself and state what I am looking for. I thought this would be quite simple but as I am finding out it is not as easy as I thought.
  • I just can’t write this sort of thing. It sounds so pathetic
  • So I have to ask myself, “what should I write here?” What do you want to know about me?
  • PREAMBLE: Wow, I can’t believe I have to lead with this, but I guess I do…Please do not judge me for never having been married.
  • Writing “about me” is not easy. But here goes:
  • It’s difficult to really cover all the facets in someones personality in one paragraph
  • My cousin talked me into doing this
  • I am filling this in because I have to, I will update it at a later time when I can really describe what my ideal match is.
  • How do you describe yourself without sounding like a used car salesman

Openings That Just Don’t Open!

You’ve got a sentence, maybe two, to grab a reader’s attention and pull them in. Don’t waste that space… like these people did. Get straight to the point!

  • So here goes.
  • Ok well a little about me?
  • Hello there and thanks for taking the time to view my profile.
  • Never tried this before but I figured why not?
  • I’m single and looking
  • I’ll make it short and sweet.

Openings We Know

The description isn’t the only place we learn about people. There’s a whole bunch of facts and figures in the check-box section, and they don’t have to be repeated:

  • I am a guy 38 years old
  • I am about 6 feet 3 inches tall
  • Me: I am 40, never married(red flag!)

Openings We’d Rather Not Know

Sometimes you can come across an opening that has you raising your eyebrows, shaking your head, and searching for the “next” link all at the same time:

  • This is my friend’s old profile. I’m just using this until I can add my own text later.
  • PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED IF I LOOK AT YOUR PROFILE! It generally means I’m at least interested in what you have to say 🙂
  • Ive been told that my best feature is my butt
  • **DISCLAIMER** I have tattoos
  • I am the real deal
  • Have not dated much my entire life and hope this works!
  • 2011 Update: After about six months off of Match, as I dated a wonderful woman I met here, I considered changing my original profile.
  • I HAVE NOT JOINED THIS SITE YET!!..THUS, I CANNOT READ ANY MESSAGES SENT TO ME!
  • ****Update**** Had my profile off for a long time and since then have sold Cool Change and bought a nicer boat.
  • ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** —– CAUTION REQUIRED —– ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** (Reading this profile may cause anxiety, uncontrollable excitement, dizziness…)
  • I’m not a paying customer but I’ve been browsing the site a little bit

Since so many people use one of the above openings, you’ll have a real advantage just by starting with something more original. Here are some ideas:

Dip into your past.

Where you’ve been helped put you where you are now. It’s a great way to build pictures and show humor.

“My Grandpa used to take me on the lake when I was a kid. He taught me so many things on those trips… like not to pee in the water when Grandpa’s trying to fish.”

Rock your world.

Everyone has something that makes them smile. You can’t ask for a more positive start than the thing that makes you happiest.

“I love techno music. It always makes me break out in wild, arm-thrashing dancing… even when I’m squeezed between two oversized commuters on the MUNI.”

Pick an Activity

What you do says much about who are. Choose an activity that you enjoy at the weekends, and start with action.

“I’m a keen Frisbee golf player. It involves throwing a set of discs around a special course. And running away before the golfers catch us.”

Start with Your Job

Yes, you can even talk about work… as long as you do it with enough flair to keep things interesting.

“I’m a systems analyst. If your system breaks down, I’ll always be willing to come around, analyze it and say that you need to format your hard drive.”

Start With a Quote

And if all else fails, you can always steal someone else’s idea. There are enough quotations out there to sum up anyone’s feelings:

“‘Life is supposed to be fun!’ That’s what Abraham-hicks said, and that’s how I live.”

Of course, to make any opening work, people have to see it. They’re only going to do that if your photo hits the spot. Pick up new, natural looking online dating photos today from LookBetterOnline, and if you need help writing your profile be sure to check out our profile review and writing services.

How do you start your profile?