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Top 5 online dating turn offs and how to avoid them

Online dating is so new that not many people know how to navigate this tricky world of digital romance. One of the best ways to help yourself is knowing what NOT to do. Here are the 5 biggest turn offs committed by men and women in the online dating world.

1. Bad photos

Out of focus shots, too many group photos, low quality images, bad lighting and the list goes on. You want your online dating pics to show off the best you but also the real you. Make sure you have clear, in focus photos with decent lighting.

Also, limit the amount of group photos you have. You don’t want a potential match to have to guess which person you are in the photograph or find your friends more attractive than you. If you need new photographs hire a pro or if you are strapped for cash, get a friend with a good camera to take some great pics for you.

2. Whining about your past

“tired of games” or “looking for someone real” “trying to find a girl that isn’t crazy.” This highlights your emotional baggage and makes you sounds resentful. It also looks like you have a negative view of the opposite sex. Not a great look. You want your profile to show off who you are as a person, not your scars from the past.

3. Acting like you are too good for online dating

If you were really above online dating, you wouldn’t be online dating. You are also broadcasting a negative message that people engaged in online dating are beneath you… which, you know, probably won’t work for you in online dating. You shouldn’t be ashamed to be online dating, it’s just the way things are now. Also, it’s FUN!

4. Too many photos with alcohol

You might be a social drinker but too many photos of you with an alcoholic beverage will make it seem like you have a problem. One is fine, maybe 2 pictures, but anymore and you go from being a social drinker to a problem drinker. Also, make sure you don’t look intoxicated in any of your photos. Bad look!

5. No profile text

You aren’t being mysterious, you look like you either don’t care or are not a real profile. Make sure you write something about yourself. A good place to start is what you enjoy doing so list your hobbies, favourite foods, activities, etc. Make sure you sound positive and inviting. Steer clear of anything that makes you sound resentful.

 

Avoid this list of these massive pitfalls and you will be flirting with some cuties in no time. The main takeaways from this are have better profile pictures of yourself and make sure your profile text is laced with some positive and attractive information about yourself. We’d say good luck but you won’t need it after reading this article.

What you should never put on your dating profile

Your dating site profile should always be positive. It should show that you’re a happy, contented person who wants to be even happier and more contented, not a sad, lonely person who wants someone to cheer them up.
Nothing puts people off more than the whiff of desperation. No one wants to be a cheerleader for a losing side; they want to be part of the winning team.

Could a man see you as Needy or Cold? (Dating Profile Mistakes for women)

Your dating profile could be too Needy or t0o Cold

UntitledI read a thousand women’s profiles and to a man many of them are either “Needy” or “Cold”.

Here are statements I see every day “I’ve waited my life for the perfect man and now it’s our time” or “I’m ready to be his one.” and “I’m looking for a love that’s devoted”

What the man reads

What the man reads is: “I rely on relationships for my happiness” or  “I want to spend all my time right next to you and never leave you alone” and “I have impossible expectations”

While there may be a romantic element to these statements- Please don’t put it  put in a dating profile- A good guide is “If you wouldn’t say it then don’t write it”.

Too Cold

The other side of the coin is that a women’s dating profile can end up too “Cold”…as if they don’t need a man

Women over 40 are the worst at this! They sound like they have no room in their busy lives for a relationship.
Statements like “I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to have one in my life.” Or, “I’m fine without a partner but I’ll make room only for the right one” are hardly going to make a guy feel special, or wanted, or show that you are available but still Thousands of women write these statements.

Remember

Guys want to feel needed yet not smothered…
And if you’re not sure about how much to write then shorter is usually better (Guys look at the photos more anyway!)

Something else to think about!

The stats are in on good dating photos. The more effort you put into looking your best, the more romantic options you’ll have and the better choices you have to avail yourself of. Don’t sell yourself short. You’ll want options going forward and whether you have one or two or dozens, you’ll want every one of them. Good photos give you options. Once you settle on one of your new options, the heartbreak you felt a month ago or a year ago will be a distant memory. Just like your ex…

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Shooting dating photos when it’s cold! (Tips from top New York photographer)

I was asked by a customer in New York:

“What do you do when a customer wants natural dating photos but the weather’s cold”?

Dating photo tips from Melody

I recently asked talented LookBetterOnline photographer Melody about  shooting dating photos when it’s cold and here’s her answer!

Hi Giles, it was an interesting coincidence, when I was asked to write something up for the LBO blog on ‘How do you make people comfortable in the dead of winter’, the following testimonial came in from my latest client:

“Melody was very good at finding a variety of locations for photographs, even in the cold weather! She was able to elicit different moods (from me) for the photos, and she was generous with her time.”

The same client also said

“Just because its winter, you still want to date, maybe even more so, a good partner can help you avoid the winter isolation and bring warmth and fun to the season”

What you want to do to is psych yourself up for a photo-shoot and dress for a winter date!

By getting your photos done during winter, you are ensuring that by late spring and summer you will have a friend, or more, to date and do things together.

Cold weather locations in New York

As a native New Yorker, I know all the ins and outs, nooks and crannies where I make sure that my clients are comfortable and interested. I myself am not a member of the Polar bear club, i.e., I don’t believe in walking more than one block in the cold.

All the places I use are all within a half to one block from all the subway stops. I use many unique and elegant places to get your shots. Usually we start at a very upscale hotel lobby in the Columbus Circle area. I even know of a ski lodge one block from the A train (see Moose heads in accompanying photo).

I also have a terrace with a startling view of the Time Warner building and Lincoln Center, where you can duck inside if it gets too cold. I have a press pass to shoot in the Time Warner Building itself, where the all glass atriums provide an urban outdoors–like lighting.

We are also a block and a half from Central Park South, surrounded with Pedi cabs and horse and buggies for added local backgrounds color (not to mention a few yards from unique cafes to duck into for shelter and a café.)

On a day when it is impossible to go outside, (a lot of rain or snow) I love the results in shooting in The Temple of Dendur, at the Metropolitan Museum of art, the authentic relocated remains of an Egyptian temple with one whole wall of glass window looks out at Central Park.

To book a session with Melody click HERE

On location shoots

One of the things I love about on location shoots, is that it’s impossible to feel self-conscious because you are so involved in new and interesting surroundings. If you are really shy though, I can find us more private places, including your office or apartment. Hopefully you’ll take my cue regarding public shooting, which is that it is very anonymous. Everybody has a camera and is usually focusing it on their friend, themselves, or upward at some vertical skyscraper. Sometimes I wish they would notice. But I find walking or shooting on the crowded streets of NY ironically is really a very private affair. . (unless you’re a famous celebrity).

All of these places have convenient and well-maintained rest rooms that can be used for changing outfits, if desired. (My recommendation for winter though, is to layer your outfits, so you don’t have to carry more than necessary.)

New York insider

Incidentally, I provide you with some good New York insider ideas for meetings and dates for the (near) future.

As a special bonus, if you book an early morning appointment with me, at the end of our shoot while you are selecting your photo picks, I like to take you to my new favorite breakfast place, for a fresh French pressed cup of coffee and the best donut I have ever had, at my treat!

To see more of Melody’s work or book a photo session with her click HERE

 

Interview with Top Florida (Boca Raton) Photographer

I’m grateful to have Photographer Ben on the LookBetterOnline.com team

I realize this when I look at Ben’s photo’s:
whether they are the candid dating profile photos that he offers LookBetterOnline customers or his masterful fine art photos that capture the majestic beauty of the natural world.

Ben’s worked with some really famous people too! Bob Wier from the Grateful Dead, The Foo Fighters,  Fergie, Beastie Boys, REM, and many more (if you don’t recognize these names than spend a few minutes on Google and you’ll get the picture!)

(Ben is also focused on using his photography as a medium to communicate the importance of sea turtle conservation as these magnificent creatures are one of the most important indicators of the health of the world’s marine and coastal ecosystems)

Top Photographer

Ben is definitely BOTH a top dating profile photographer and nature Photographer (And I see a lot of photographers)  Here are some questions that I asked him and his answers.

An Interview with Ben

LookBetterOnline (Giles): Tell me a little about yourself?
Ben: In pursuing my passion of photography, I strive to achieve a diverse image at the highest quality while enjoying myself and making my clients feel comfortable and relaxed.

LookBetterOnline (Giles):  How do you make your customers comfortable?
Ben: Upon first meeting I try and let them know who I am and what I do and let them tell me a little about themselves as well. It’s all about where the client is comfortable shooting. If they are comfortable then I am comfortable

LookBetterOnline (Giles): Do you have formal education related to photography?
Ben: I graduated from Florida Atlantic University in Graphic Design and took 5 photography classes while enrolled.
LookBetterOnline (Giles): Ben’s also spent literally thousands of hour behind a camera and has a commitment to photography that most people only aspire to attain (Just sayin!)

LookBetterOnline (Giles): What are your favorite locations to take Dating profile photos?
Ben: I like to bring my client into my natural studio, Mother nature. There are endless combinations outside, especially living in beautiful South Florida. The beach and parks are a favorite of mine to visit (Spanish River Park, Mizner Park, Boca Raton Inlet, Red Reef Park, Deerfield Pier, Palmetto Park Beach, Delray Public Beach and Downtown Delray Beach)

Think about this!

Having great online dating profile photos  (Taken in a specific way) Is the most important thing you can do when dating online, To Book a session with Ben Simply click HERE

 

Spotlight on Top North Carolina (Durham) Photographer

Meet Shawn

Shawn chose to be a portrait photographer because she loves to photograph people. With 18 years of experience she’s developed a knack for putting people at ease in front of the camera. Her approach is casual, light and fun.  This allows her to capture your true personality.
She’s based in Durham, North Carolina.

Her goal is to make your session fun and at the same time surprise you with how photogenic you never thought you were.

An impressive resume

Her clients include Ron Wyman, film maker for CNN and The Discovery Channel.  The Art Director for Boston Magazine. Warren Miller, extreme ski film maker, Dr. Ruth, Yankee Magazine, Fidelity and more.

To book your own photo-session with Shawn CLICK HERE

What To Put On A Dating Site Profile… And What To Leave Out

Important Tool

Your dating site profile is the most important tool you have to find love online—and fast. It’s the identity that you put forward to other online daters, it’s what people see when they’re looking for people like you and it’s all you’ve got to make a first impression and pull in the proposals.

No Exaggeration

It’s not an exaggeration to say that all that lies between you and the end of your single days is the skill with which you complete your profile.

The kind of information that you’ll be asked to reveal about yourself will vary from service to service. Dating sites put a huge amount of effort into coming up with the right questions to make matching easy without putting off new members. Some sites for example, will ask you to tick just a handful of boxes and write one short paragraph. Others will have section after section that grill you about your personality, your interests, your hopes and your history.

All sections

In general, it’s a good idea to complete all the sections of a dating site profile however many they may be. You don’t have to do it all in one sitting and you can certainly come back to fill in the gaps later, but as long as you have spaces in your profile that remain unfilled you can give the impression of looking evasive and less than completely serious.

The good news

dating adviceThe bulk of the profile won’t take long to complete. Even the most demanding sites don’t ask you to write more than three or four mini-compositions about yourself and your ideal date, and the majority of just about any dating site profile is always a series of checkboxes about your likes and dislikes.

Fill these sections in as accurately and as quickly as you can and move on. For the most part, online daters skip right past these parts of the profile. They look too much like shopping lists. Mostly they help the site’s matching engine far more than the dater looking for a match. The fact that someone likes jazz more than rock, or comedies more than documentaries, doesn’t really tell you whether they’re going to like you—or whether you’re going to like them.

Important

A few checkboxes though are important. When you come to tell the world the age range of the person you’re looking for, it’s important to be realistic. Many men in particular like to think that because there are so many women on the Internet, they can use it as a way to meet women half their age. That’s not impossible but at best it’s going to need a long wait and at worst, it’s going to be a complete waste of time.

All sorts

Internet dating can bring all sorts of people together. It can certainly match people up who are looking for something very specific—and even a little unusual. But when you begin looking for someone online, you want your profile to be as inclusive as possible. Once the emails come in, you can then start to focus on the most attractive responses. If you’d like to meet someone in their early twenties for example but would also be happy with someone in their mid-thirties then it’s best to choose a wide age range that casts a big net than focus on one particular group and change when you feel you’re not having any luck.

Age

When it comes to describing your own age range though, honesty is always the best policy. There’s always a temptation for people in their early-somethings to shave a few years off and slip back into an earlier decade. It happens a lot (and it’s a good reason to be suspicious of people who claim to be aged 29 or 38 etc.) But it’s just not worth it. At some point you will have to spill the beans and spilling them in front of someone you really want to impress is far worse than being honest to someone you haven’t met and might never meet. If the passing single really doesn’t want to date someone your age, it’s best not to meet them at all than date them and get the rejection face-to-face.

Find out more

To find out more about profiles visit http://www.lookbetteronline.com/profile-writing/profile-makeover/

3 Tips for Finding someone special in 2014

If you’re reading this then I hope you’ll have your best year ever and find someone special.
Here’s 2 simple tips to get you started

1. Make love a priority without urgency.

We’ve all heard: “When the time is right the right you’ll meet the right person.” But “we’ve also been told to “Go out and make it happen”

I think a balance between these 2 points of view is a healthy balance.
Resolve to go out and meet people AND look online so that you have a better chance of finding love, and don’t force it…(forcing things is way too needy) the trick is to take action and spend time letting things unfold

And when you go on a first date don’t already start examining if you could spend the rest of your life with them. Don’t go there!…There is way less pressure just getting to know your date…learn more about a new person, not just fall in love with a romantic fantasy.

2. First impressions count.

Before you get a date you need to attract someone special! What kind of first impression do you make, whether online or in-person?
Online, having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, we all look at the photos first! so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!And your profile is well written- If your personal look could use some improvement, then do it whether it’s new clothes or hairstyle..

2. Confidence is key

Confidence is key! And I don’t mean cockiness…I mean the confidence to be authentic!
If you’re nervous about a first date then you might want to try some exercise an hour or two prior to getting ready and going out (Often being in your body will get you “Out” of your nervous mind)
And when it comes to talking- stay in the comfort zone by coming up with a few subjects that won’t get you into trouble (And AVOID at all costs Politics or Religion!…I know obvious eh!)
If you’re not sure what to talk about then  ask your date about their life, listen and go from there.
Also don’t forget there’s is a fine line between being confidence and cocky – nobody likes a cocky guy who is too cool, so keep it real

Ways to feel more confident:

Don’t slouch!
Take a couple of deep breaths and Stand or sit  tall! Pull your shoulders back  and pick your chin up No one looks confident if they are always looking down!

Slow down and take a breath
When you get nervous, your voice goes up and you’ll talk faster than you realize.  These are two dead giveaways for lack of confidence…so breathe deeply and relax…It’s not a race to impress her!

Seasons Greetings and an offer

Happy Christmas to all our readers…..I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Holiday online dating offer: Valid between Christmas day and the new year!
Simply enter promo code “holiday” and receive $30 off a dating profile photo session

(*Offer applies to full price photo session: exaple $197 package for just $167)