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Dating a New Guy…I Don’t Want to Blow It!


Meet Dr Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW.

As one of the leading love coaches for the gay community, licensed dating and relationship coach Dr. Brian has over 18 years of experience as a psychotherapist and life coach specializing in helping GLBT (Gay, lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) individuals and couples develop and maintain successful and fulfilling intimate relationships.
You can find out more about him at thegaylovecoach.com

Wisdom for everyone…”Love is more than your sexual preference“.

I want to share Brian’s expert advice on Dating a new guy, while his articles are written with a focus towards the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) Community, I think that there is great wisdom here for everyone…I hope you’ll agree.



Brian’s article called “Dating a New Guy…I Don’t Want to Blow It!” has been written to answer a question that many of us often ask ourselves:

Dear Dr. Brian:

I have met a guy that I really like, but I don’t know what to do because I’ve never really dated before. He is great and is someone I can see myself being with for a long time. I don’t want to mess this up…what should I do?

Dating Virgin

Dear Dating Virgin:

Congrats to you on meeting someone whom you share a strong connection with! You sound very excited about getting to know him better and my first word of advice is to relax and enjoy! This stage of your dating process is all about fun and getting to know your new prospect through shared experiences and recreation. By worrying about the future with this guy before it’s even had a chance to get off the ground will cause you to feel a lot of distracting anxiety that will rob you of the opportunity to have fun and be yourself. Such anxiety could also come across in your body language and your new guy might be able to see your tension; plus, you don’t want to feel like you have to be engaging in a performance every time you get together with him. So breathe, be your true self, and allow the relationship to evolve naturally.

There’s no specific formula for dating, but you can definitely increase your chances of success by taking the emphasis off of the other guy and what he might be thinking about you and instead place it on yourself. Make sure that you have a very clear vision of what you’re looking for in a potential partner and relationship and make a list of all your needs for each. Identify those needs that are negotiable (things you’d be willing to bend on) versus those that are non-negotiable (these are deal-breakers, those things you absolutely must have or cannot have to be in the relationship). Your deal-breaker needs represent your core values and these will be the qualities and characteristics that you’ll be using to screen your new guy to make sure he matches your vision for the ideal man.

No matter how hot he is or how much you have in common, if a dating prospect doesn’t align with your vision and needs, you’ll be setting yourself up for pain and disappointment the more you invest in a future with him. You don’t want just any guy; you want the right guy!

So as you’re getting to know this new guy you’re seeing, I encourage you to avoid fretting about whether it’s going to work out, and instead keep the focus on having fun and screening him to determine his goodness-of-fit with you. Good communication skills, positive self-esteem and confidence, savvy social skills, and identification of any self-defeating or sabotaging behaviors you might have and formulation of action strategies to overcome them are other key essentials you’ll want to master to maximize your chances of dating success.

So enjoy this special time of your dating relationship and make sure to show off your authentic, genuine self! You have nothing to prove, so relax and enjoy the moment. Please read the other dating articles on my website for some additional pointers and tips. Have a great time!

Cheers,
Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, The Gay Love Coach

Dating online? The rule you can’t break…get great online dating photos

Having  great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

Top mistakes men make when sending that first email

You only have one chance to make a good impression. Nowhere is that more important than in the online dating environment. Miss the chance and you’ll never recover. There’s no going back and over the cliff you’ll go. So here’s some tough love regarding some of the best ways not to make a good impression. Or, to put it another way, how not to come off like an asshole.

Unwelcome sexual advances or comments.

Stay away from the flirty or bawdy comments until you are sure you can make them. It almost certainly isn’t in the first email.

Talking about yourself.

Spend too much time talking about yourself and you’ve done the worst job ever about that first impression business. Telling her how cool and suave you is just a waste of both your times.

Not asking questions.

This goes with the above. Find something, anything meaningful to ask her about and if you can’t do it, go home because you’re wasting your time trying to find a date. Oh, sorry, you are home.

Ignoring what’s in the woman’s profile or failure to comment on the woman’s profile.

If you can’t find something to comment on in her specific profile, you might as well be sending a form letter, and believe me, it will show.

Too much emphasis on the physical.

It’s OK to say how attractive you think she is, but don’t dwell on it too much. Do too much and you’ll come off creepy. See below.

Asking for a phone number.

It’s too early for this. Don’t do it. Creepy.

Mentioning how rich you are.

If you spend time telling her how rich you are, or even suggesting it in an effort to “big time” her, all you’ll do is turn off 99% of the ones you want to impress and attract the 1% you don’t. This is a scientific fact and the percentages have been independently verified by history.

Goofy, corny humor.

Humor is funny when two people “get” each other. If they don’t, the humor doesn’t work and instead of being a glue to hold your relationship together, it’ll dissolve it faster than turpentine. Be careful with that peculiar and quirky humor of yours.

Crazy, ass-clownish compliments, like: “You’d be perfect if you lost 15 pounds.”

Nuf’ said.

Sending your phone number in the first email.

If you say in your email: “Here’s my phone number, call me.” It really says, “Here’s my number, 1-800 277-25696 (1-800 ASS-CLOWN) Hit me up!” That’s what it really sounds like when read out loud.

Using bad grammar, or misspelling words:

Expressions such as, “I realy like you’re hare!”, or; “Your beautifull!” will kill your chances before you get started. Use a spell checker if you have an doubts about your ability to spell big words. If you can’t spell well and can’t manage a simple sentence without grammatical errors you’re [sic] chances are simply not good. Using a bunch of texting abbreviations won’t help you either. All you’ll do is come off as dim, silly or lasy [sic].

Creepy talk.

We’re not talking about your odd love of small animals here. It’s hard to believe but expressions such as “I like kissing”, or “I like apples with peanut butter” can be risky in the first email. Even something as seemingly innocuous as “I like pie”, taken out of context or misinterpreted, can be a real turn off. If you think what you might be saying can be taken as creepy, it probably is. Avoid odd, strange, unconnected expressions at all costs.

Self deprecation or sycophantic speech .

Saying things such as “I’m probably too old/young for you.”, “I’ll do anything to meet you! Anything!” will kill you, too. Come off too weak in your first email and you’ll never recover from it. Never.

Telling her you don’t have a photo – yet.

If you have say something like, “I don’t have a photo up on the site yet,” you might as well have said, “I’m an ass-clown with something to hide but I’ll send you a secret, creepy photo if you beg me for it.”  Go home.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to prepare for your online dating photo shoot

Preparing for your online dating photo shoot shares some common things with all photo shoots and also some very different things. The common things is that you want to look your best and you want to just look good. But it’s the different things we’ll talk about here because you want to pay attention to these qualities. Ignore them and you might just wind up with photos that just don’t work.

The cardinal rule: look casual, but not too casual

You should strive to look smart and casual at the same time. We all know what it means to “smarten up”, so do that. At the same time, avoid looking too stiff and formal and by all means avoid any visual cliches such as polo shirts, riding clothes or boots, sport coats with turtle-neck sweaters, seersucker jackets or bow ties. If you own nothing but a closet or drawers full of these items, best to make a trip to your clothing store for something new, simple, dark-colored and reserved.

Think for minute how egotistical it is to pose for the camera in dress that tries to say it all about what you think, do, or imagine about yourself. All you’ll do is self-filter large numbers of potential dates with your costumes. What if you meet someone you really want to spend more time with and you find out she hates polo later, if you haven’t scared her away in the first second or two with your riding chaps, you may be lucky enough to have built a nascent relationship that can weather that little incompatibility. The idea here is that you want to give yourself as many options as possible from the very beginning. Don’t advertise “Must Love Polo” in your online dating photos. Very large numbers of browsers will take you at your word, and the result: a click on “next!”

Looking too casual can have a detrimental impact, though. Standing there in your pink robe, sipping coffee, or wiping your hands on your dirty sweat shirt may sound romantic and perhaps clever but the truth is those shots are just barely on this side of respectful. How do we know this? We’re in the business, we talk to dating sites all the time who in turn talk to their dating site members. Look too “casual” and the main thing about you your browsers will come away with is: “I don’t give a shit what you think.”

Keep it simple to keep your appeal broader. No props

Keeping your appearance neat, clean, simple and relaxed has the broadest possible appeal and you’ll attract the largest potential interest.  Avoid props of any kind: tennis rackets, golf clubs, baseball mitts or bats, and surf boards unless you only want to be considered by those who play golf, baseball or surf. Don’t put another self-filter on your photos with corny props.

Rest up, light on the make up and hair

Get plenty of rest, that goes without saying. Light make up is best, even if you think you “need” a lot of it, don’t do it. No big wigs.

Above all strive to look relaxed and approachable with dress and an appearance that appeals to a broad cross-section. That’s the key to having the most options, and to having the most success dating online.

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Getting back in the dating game: 4 Dating tips for seniors

Senior dating is a huge trend, thanks to online dating sites that cater for seniors such as “Ourtime.com

For those of you who don’t know what Ourtime.com is:
OurTime.com is a dating website for the over-50 crowd in the United States and Canada. Overall, this senior dating dating website site is simple and  very easy to use.

While Seniors may have more life experience, dating again after being widowed or divorced can seem overwhelming.

Here’s 4 simple tips to help Seniors get back in the dating game and find love

1.You are not too old

Don’t tell yourself that you’re too old to have a good time. You don’t have date like you did in your 20s, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to find someone who makes you happy and find love.

2.Don’t take it so seriousl

Getting back in the dating game can be totally nerve wracking to begin with, so just remember to have fun.

3.You’re not too old to look your best.

If you care enough about your date to take the time to look your best then your date will feel flattered. It doesn’t matter how old you are, its critical that you look your best on a date. Don’t feel silly getting your hair done or buying nice clothes.

4.Don’t let your grown up children hold you back

Many seniors hold off on dating because of their grown up children kids. Remember that your happiness is important and while adult children can often be protective, you are not a child.

Online Dating? It doesn’t matter how old you are: Without a good profile photo no-one’s going to reply.

Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Online Dating: What to write when emailing someone you find attractive?

Yesterday evening I had an amusing telephone conversation with my good friend Bob (Let’s call him Bob because he’d never want me to reveal his true identity.)

A little background information; Bob’s a great guy, good friend, he’s smart, successful, good looking guy, knows how to treat a women and Bob has just started dating online with Match so isn’t too sure about this “online dating stuff” and is working out exactly what to do.

Last week he showed me his Match profile. I helped him re-write it and deleted some truly horrible online dating profile photos that he’d posted and replaced them with a great online dating photos.

Bob asked me what I thought about writing a great introduction email and then sending it off to a lot of women, to play the numbers game!

Quality over quantity.

I gave him this dating advice! “Most women want someone who is really into ‘them’, not the kind of guy who approaches every woman at the bar and NO woman ever wants to be sent a Form email “.
Personally I prefer to write individual emails to each woman. When it comes to online dating what’s important is the quality of communication rather than the quantity!

Last night Bob called me to tell me that he’d met a great woman online AND that she told him that 6 of her girlfriends and her (Who all live in the same small town) had all gone on Match.com together and would spend evenings with an bottle of wine, talking about the men they’d like to date.

Imagine if he’d sent the same email to all 7 women in the same small town…Do you think they would have noticed and  thought he was a douche-bag?

How to reach out to someone you find attractive online.

So what should you write when reaching out to someone that you find attractive online?

Writing a good email when reaching out to someone can be challenging because your words will be analyzed way more than normal.

I’ve written this post for men, but the advice applies equally to women.

1. Less is more.

When writing an email, remember that less is more;  give her the basics, elaborate later if asked;  You don’t need to give anyone your life story (and risk sounding like a narcissist) or ask a million questions (and risk sounding  like an interrogation.) Think about it, who is more intriguing? Someone who tells you their life story VS someone who talks a little and waits for encouragement to continue?
Make your first message at four sentences, maximum. Your first email is only an introduction- Don’t make her feel sorry that she opened your email.

2. Never be negative.

Never write anything negative in a dating email…simply stated leave out negative comments of any kind.

3. Tell her why you like her.

Tell her that you liked her profile, and why. For example, if a woman mentioned that she likes wine, let her know your favorite vintage. Ask her if she likes the local winery-this could be a great first step towards meeting her.

Don’t tell her how hot they look.

Even if you think that she is Angelina Jolie’s twin sister, don’t tell her how hot she is! Save compliments until after the ice has been broken. Establish a connection first and then your compliments will be more meaningful later.

5. Ask a question and make it easy for her to reply.

Take the time to read her profile. Notice the clues she/he gives you about what they likes, and he/she’s looking for. If she/he mentioned it in their profile… don’t ask again.

Ask a Question to get a reply…

And never beg for her phone number or even for her to write back. Remember just a simple introduction… and don’t spoil things by saying “If you don’t see anything you like, that’s fine too. Good Luck with your search!” Statements like this are HUGE turn-offs because they make her feel like you are expecting to be rejected.

Online Dating? Without a good profile photo no-one’s going to reply.

Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating profile mistakes people make without knowing; Revealed by top Los Angeles online dating photographer

Let me tell you a little about my friend Charlotte.

Charlotte is in my opinion one of the finest online dating photographers you’ll ever meet! Simply stated she is masterful in her work. Here’s an example of the standard of the photos that she takes here as an online dating photographer in Los Angeles, California.

(Whether you live in Los Angeles or not if you are interested to see more of what she does as an online dating photographer.)

The reason I’m writing this blog post though is as a direct result of a telephone chat I had with Charlotte recently.

She explained to me one of the most common dating profile mistakes people make without even knowing it!

After the photo shoot – what’s next?

So let’s imagine you have just finished a photo session and now you have 12, 18 or 24 gorgeous, shiny images of yourself!

Well, as excited as you may be to put your new pictures to good use, here is something to keep in mind.

“I often receive follow-up emails from my customers after a shoot”, says Charlotte. “Almost everybody asks for advice on which photos to use”.

“Although all of the images you will receive from me are an excellent selection for on-line dating purposes, some dating sites limit the number of images you can upload”.

A little overwhelming.

“Unless you are a professional model, it can certainly be a little overwhelming to select your favorites, not to mention seeing yourself in a whole new, and better, light. Should I go for the half-body shots or the close ups? What about the “big grin” as opposed to the “soft smile”? Does my hair look good? How about my tie, is it too business like or just right?”

As an online dating photographer Charlotte has heard it all…

A few trusted friends

“We are often not very good at judging our own image and what may be important to you may not be something anyone else would pay attention to, or even notice. So instead of obsessing over real or imaginary details, why not let a few trusted friends help you select the pictures that best represent you? “

Yes I hear you say this all makes perfect sense, but what about this dating profile mistake you mentioned in the title of this article that people make without even knowing it?

What most people don’t know.

“What is mind boggling to me”, says Charlotte, “is that so many people leave their old profile photos up for sentimental reasons, even after adding their new, professional ones. A party snapshot from that drunken weekend in Vegas. Three fuzzy cell phone photos of Fido, Buster, and Rover sleeping in the back yard. An “artistic” mirror self-portrait from 2007. A faded beach bikini scan from Cabo San Lucas, some 30 pounds ago. They might all be fun for your memory lane scrap book project but those old photos will do nothing to generate interest in your new dating profile.”

What’s worse, people who browse your profile will critique you by your least flattering picture – not your best.

Let me say this again for emphasis:

People who browse your profile will critique you by your least flattering picture – not your best.

“You just made a real effort to improve your look online, spent time and money on your new photos. So do yourself a favor and remove the old duds from your profile once and for all. Let your least flattering profile picture be just as terrific as your best!”

Online Dating? How to be way more successful…and have more fun

Without a good picture no one’s going to read your profile! Having great online dating photos is the MOST important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

15 Secrets of Online Dating for Grownup Women – Part 3

Here’s the second article (Part 2 of 3) from my friend and top  Dating coach Bobbi Palmer:

As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, I encourage my clients to get online. If you are a woman over 40 looking for love I want you online too.

I met my husband online and got married for the first time at the age of 47! And you can too.
But before you put yourself out there, I’ve given you some advice about how to show up, set your expectations, stake your claim, have some fun, and ultimately find a loving partner

(This is a 3 part article, so read Part One and Part Two first if you haven’t already.)

The new hot spot.

Online dating is the new hot spot for boomers and older adults. As a woman over forty, you need to do a little extra work. But like me, you can meet your dream man.

In Part 3 of: 15 Secrets to Successful Online Dating for Grownup Women here are 5 more things to know before you get started:

#11. Be in the moment.

Stop talking to yourself; you are there to talk and listen to him. It’s hard. But being aware is the first step.

When you notice yourself in an over-analytical mode, tell yourself to stop and pay attention to the man sitting in front of you. If you don’t, you may completely miss the man of your dreams.

#12. Don’t be a Fault Finder.

Be kind and practice empathy. He has fears and insecurities just like you. Don’t get hung up on some little thing he does that “you just can’t live with.”

Consider why he’s doing it, and if it truly is a deal breaker. Then look at him again with the kind eyes of a woman working hard to find a good man.

And regardless of how you end up judging him, always leave him feeling good about himself; even if you’re not going to see him again. You’ll be doing the next woman a favor; and sharing a true kindness to this nice man; even if you’re not planning on seeing him again. Consider it a deposit to your dating karma bank!

#13. Show up on time, looking great.

I know, this seems obvious. But many of us don’t do too well with our punctuality; we just focus on figuring out how to show up during our busy day. Many consider it rude for people to be late. And remember, this is your first and maybe only chance to get that great man to ask you on a date. Focus, and give it the attention it deserves.

Make a plan to be on time, and present yourself as the beautiful woman that you are. If you’re coming from work, leave a few minutes early so you can go home and change out of your power clothes.

If you’re taking a walk with him, don’t even think of wearing your fanny pack and sweats. Dress femininely, and give him your gift of a big open smile. (As a note: if you absolutely hate when people are late, let him know that so he can make an extra effort. That way your date isn’t a lost cause from the first moments.)

#14. Men want women.

Studies show that men are highly attracted to the feminine woman. That doesn’t mean you need to act like a damsel in distress. In fact, that isn’t at all attractive to real grown-up men. Mature men want a woman who is strong and is able to take care of herself; but also willing and able to receive from him.

On your meet date, let the man pay, accept his compliments graciously, and act with loving kindness. In studies, when men are asked why they chose their wives or girlfriends, they consistently identify her ability to receive and extend kindness as attractive feminine qualities.

#15. Have fun while you practice.

Every meeting and date is practice that brings you closer to Mr. I Love You. Statistically, your meet-date won’t turn out to be him. So what?

Enjoy the time and be open to what comes up. Don’t come in with an agenda, and don’t let it ruin your time if, in the first 10 minutes, he doesn’t appear to be your man. Just relax and let yourself enjoy. You never know; you may just let yourself relax into a very nice feeling.

You can also use this as a time to help boost the man’s self-esteem. (Yes, men are as nervous and insecure as we are.). He was nice enough to “pick you” and make the effort of meeting you. (Remember, as we get older the men have way more choices than we do.)

Unless he’s a real creep (which very very few men are), help him feel good about himself by giving him some compliments and thanking him graciously. Try to learn about him and find what’s unique and interesting. You can learn and gain something from just about anyone.

And Finally…

Ultimately, I learned that the only way to find a lasting and loving relationship is to become a smart, confident and complete woman who merits the love of a good man.

A large part of that journey is being open to learning and having the courage to do new things; even when they are difficult or scary.

If you’re not already online; get there. If you are online, and you haven’t met your special man yet (which I assume you haven’t because you are here), take my advice to heart.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!


 

15 Secrets of Online Dating for Grownup Women – Part 1

Many of you who’ve read this Blog before know that I featured my friend and dating coach  Bobbi Palmer. www.datelikeagrownup.com

For those of you who haven’t met Bobbi let I’ll re-introduce her as “The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40”.

I like Bobbi because she’s the real deal, someone who shares a positive message for women looking to find love, someone who genuinely loves helping people and someone who has met her true love.
(Tip for anyone reading this, if you want to marry the man of your dreams then listen carefully to dating coaches with happy marriages.)

“So why listen to Bobbi”? I hear you say…Listen because Bobbi found love at 47.

If you are a single woman over forty, who is still hoping to meet the man of your dreams… If you’re tired of disappointing dates and feeling like it’s too late or too difficult…then please read on. Here’s the start of a 3 part article called

15 online dating “Secrets” for Grownup Women !

You Can do it!

You can meet the spectacular, special man who is going to be your life partner using online dating. I met the love of my life online, so of course I recommend it to you.

I’m Bobbi Palmer, the dating and relationship coach for women over 40. I encourage my clients to get online to find the man who will love and adore them the rest of their lives.

My clients are using online dating to varying degrees of success. Pamela’s beau is the first man she met online; Heidi went out with about four men before she met Tom and started her (so far) 3 year relationship with him; Peggy is on Bachelor #26 and happy that she is just having a good time dating for the first time in her life.

It took me years of being online before I met Larry. That’s why I can give so much advice about what to do…and what not to do!

It can happen

It may not happen for you overnight, but like me…it can happen.

I want you to go online. But before you put yourself out there, I want to give you some advice about how to show up, set your expectations, stake your claim, have some fun, and ultimately find a loving partner.
And know this: just because you’re online, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way you can meet men. You can meet them in the grocery store, Sierra Club hikes, your friends’ parties, and blind dates set up by your friends and relatives. This just exponentially increases your chances.
So get out there, and have some fun! But read this first.

Here are five tips to consider as you get you started.

#1. Be the Boss

No, I don’t mean be bossy. I mean be in control of your experience. Online dating opens you up to thousands more possibilities, and it’s a completely new way of meeting people.
Make some decisions and set some personal guidelines about how you want to integrate it into your life. How many hours will you spend each day? (Warning: this can get addictive!) What things can you do to ensure your physical and emotional wellbeing as you talk to and meet people? What can you learn or change to be a successful dater?
Intuition and special situations will create forks in the road. And as time goes on, you’ll likely tweak some of these decisions. Considering some things up front, however, gives you a tentative roadmap and, more importantly, an expanded awareness. I want you to have fun, be open to new things, and enjoy the experience; just do it consciously and like the grownup woman that you are.

Remember those jerks you met in bars 30 years ago? Well a few are still out there; they just have gray hair now. You need to be able to deal with them in a classy you direct manner; the best way is to have a good sense of what you want and who you will “be’ out there.

#2.  Stand out

Plain and simple: you have competition girlfriend. As we age, the ratio of women to men grows further apart. Some statistics say it’s as much as 11 women to each man after 55. Yikes!

If you’re dating after 40, I want you to stand up and stand out. You’re reading this so you’re already ahead of the game. Make sure your pictures are great. Get them done professionally. (Come on a couple of hundred bucks is NOT too much to spend to attract a fabulous man??)

Your profile needs to be unique and speak to men. Here’s a tip: If your best girlfriend loves it; it probably sucks because it’s too girly. Every communication needs to scream how special you are, show your personality, and tell him you’re interested. (“Hi” on the subject line means you wait in line or get deleted. Flirt a little and have some fun.)

#3. Be honest

You are online, but your goal is to actually meet men, yes? One of the top complaints of men is that we post pictures that are…let’s say…out of date. Just don’t do it. Post lovely, yet current, pictures. It’s disingenuous and a waste of time to do otherwise.

Also, be clear about what you’re looking for. I find that at 40, 50, and beyond there is a wide spectrum of what type of partner men and women are looking for. Whether you want a dinner partner or a husband; put it out there. There’s no need to scream it, but weave it into your profile. If you want a life partner, you don’t attract that man who is out there “just having fun.”  (Trust me, with Viagra and a computer…a man can have a lot of fun these days!)

#4. Consider a makeover

When is the last time you updated your look? Have you changed the way you apply your makeup or wear your hair? Have you bought any new styled clothes?

Doing this is as much about looking good for a man, as it is about feeling good for yourself. A confident woman who takes care of herself and looks healthy is a man magnet.

Go to your local department store and have a free makeup session. All the lines do this, did you know? Splurge for a fancy hair style. Check out catalogs~you don’t have to necessarily buy — but check out what’s hot (and what’s not).

#5. Check your baggage

Yes, I do mean don’t drag your nasty divorce, money troubles, or last case of gout into the conversation. (At least not anywhere near the beginning of getting to know someone.)

But, as important, don’t drag in all those beliefs and decisions you made 20 years ago. The woman you are today is nowhere near the girl who dated way back when.

It’s time to review all your checklists. Check the one that defines “the perfect man” and what he must do or not do to get to the next date.

Check the one that has all your “truths” about yourself, about dating, and about men.

It’s important to take time to ground yourself in who you are and what you want in your life today. Do this by yourself, with a friend, or with a coach. But do it.

Remember, stay the same means staying single, sister.

Dating online? Regardless of your age, the most important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

 

New Online Dating book “Ace the chase” and Launch of the “Authentic Gentleman” website.

Let me introduce you to me new friend Jiron.

Jiron is an easy to chat to, successful guy who lives in Singapore.
Recently he contacted me to tell me about his new dating book “Ace the chase”, it’s aimed at guys who need help with online dating.

He kindly sent me a copy of his book “Ace the chase” to review.

When I started to read his book I was skeptical…boy was I wrong!

OK, so let’s put this in perspective, Jiron has written this book for men who are online dating in their 20’s and 30’s…and many of LookBetterOnline’s customers are in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.

But “Ace the chase” has some  information  relevant to ALL men who are online dating; Think “Being real, being congruent, Dress sense, Body language”

Jiron made me laugh out loud when he wrote:

“I have always loved online dating. It’s like passive income – while you sleep, you earn. With online dating, when you wake up, you get a new email in your inbox.”

Jiron admits that he came from “That position where I was socially awkward with the ladies. So I know how difficult it can be for some men to go out there and approach random women on the streets”.

A lot of men fail miserably at online dating, and a lot of men spend hard earned dollars on dating coaches who promise them a “system” to attract women online.

Avoid the “Creepy dating vibe”.

The problem with many of these so called “Systems’ is that they often resort to tips and techniques that make guys look weird, and give off a “Creepy dating vibe”.

What Jiron promises (And Delivers) is good commonsense advice to help guys realize how online dating really works and he helps people let their natural best selves shine without having to resort to tips and techniques that feel odd.

Simply Authentic.

What I LOVE about Jiron is that he’s authentic!

When we were chatting he told me that He was “Unsure whether his material would appeal to older men…as in, the conversational parts”.

If you’re under 30 years old then BUY this book! If you’re older  and not offended by a younger message then read between the lines and adapt what he says to work for you.

http://authenticgentleman.com/

Thanks Jiron for a refreshingly honest read.

 

 

Dating online? The rule you can’t break…get great online dating photos.

Having  great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

When should you introduce your children to your date?

A question I’ve been asked more than a few times is “When should I Introduce my child to someone I’ve been dating?

Not sure

Many people aren’t sure when would be the best time to do this and it’s a question that many parents find extremely difficult to answer.

The reason why this question is so difficult to answer is that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer that will work for all children; Considering factors could be the age and emotional development of the child and the opinions of the culture you live in.

Here are some guidelines to answer this question and hopefully making it less stressful for your child, your partner and yourself.

Are you serious?

A simple question with a simple answer; If you are casually dating someone then I feel it’s NOT appropriate to introduce them to your child; If you don’t view your date as a long-term relationship then tell your child (if they ask) that you are seeing a “friend” and leave it at that; I’ve known people quickly introduce their children to a boyfriend or a girlfriend and then watched the children get attached to the other adult, only to be upset when it doesn’t work out.

How long have you been dating?

While there’s no fixed time limit, the idea of waiting a little is smart. Give your relationship a enough time to grow and experience the natural ups and downs.

How to introduce him or her to your children

Plan something fun so that you take the pressure off everyone (Include your children in an activity you can all do together).

Talking with your children

Again the answer here depends entirely on the age and emotion development of your children.

Accepting your “Significant other” may be a slow process for your children. Remember that your top priority is to reassure your children that you love and that you intend to always be there for  them. In time they will see that you having another person in your life is about you being happy and not about splitting your affections.
Taking one-on-one time with your child to discuss your relationship will often help. If needed, you can also talk with your child know and let them know that you are disappointed that your relationship with their other parent could not be salvaged, and in light of that, you’re ready to move on.

Don’t rush things

Once your relationship becomes  serious, let your significant other get to know your children gradually, do NOT attempt to rush or force the relationship, keep things fun!

the key is to keep things fun, plan lots of good stuff with your kids, allow things to unfold naturally and if you have a few bumps along the way then learn to accept them and enjoy the process.

 

Get great dating photos (And don’t post pictures of you and your children on a dating site).

You’ll need some dating profile photos when you date online, but don’t post pictures of you and your children online (Any good person will understand that they can wait to meet your children!)
Having  great dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, visit LookBetterOnline and find out why our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!