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5 First date tips!

First dates can be anything from fun to stressful or boring!

Let’s make sure you’re dates in 2014 are successful with these seven first date tips:

1.Show respect

Dress sharp, show up on time, be polite to the waiter, and give your date your attention.(If you have to keep your phone on (If you have Kids or a friend waiting to call you just in  case the date goes bad) then put it on “vibrate”.

2. Never talk About Your “Ex”

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER talk about your Ex.
While I’s easy to talk about your Ex on a first date-because both of you have ‘that terrible Ex in common. Don’t do it!
The idea of a date is to have fun and get to know someone a little better…while later down the road you can discuss past relationships, now is NOT the time…First dates should be drama free and fun!

3. Don’t Interrogate your Date.

It’s a date not a job interview!
I’ve heard many people give the advice that tells you to ask your date lots of questions and listen attentively but remember to allow your date to get to know you too.

4. NEVER Get Drunk

Many of us have been on a date when the other person get’s drunk-it’s no fun at all- remember first impressions count so make a good one.”

5. Relax and be you.

Relax and be you…never try to impress your date and never try to be what you think your date will like! (It’s way too stressful!) Be honest about who you are and what you do.

Also think about this!

Having great online dating photos  (Taken in a specific way) Is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Top Ten List of Flirting Tips

I’m a fan and a friend of Fran Greene

Meet Fran

the flirting bibleWhen I first met Fran she kindly sent me a copy of her book “The flirting bible” (See details below) I remember that I was skeptical until I read the book and then I remember that I’d told my readers to buy a copy and read it twice!

Fran’s an authentic and delightful New-Yorker with a heart of gold, she’s also a Nationally renowned relationship expert and former advice columnist for Match.com (To find out more about her CLICK HERE )

Last week Fran and I were catching up on the telephone and I asked her to share an article for my blog…here it is…enjoy

Top ten flirting tips guaranteed to make you a fabulous flirt.

What is flirting?
Flirting is a wonderful icebreaker and tension reducer.
Flirting is testing the romantic waters. It’s the best way to make a connection with someone.
Flirting is a great way to let someone know that you find them interesting, attractive, fun or appealing to you.

10. Flirting is an Attitude:

A great flirt is self confident and not afraid to take a risk. Be enthusiastic and positive, it works!

9. Start a Conversation:

The best opening line is saying hello! Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, or state an opinion.

8. Have Fun:

Be playful, light hearted and spontaneous. Let your sense of humor shine through.

7. Use Props:

Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Amazing props include dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, an eye catching tie, or an interesting book or magazine.

6. Be the Host:

Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcoming committee.

5. Make the First Move:

Move closer, pay a compliment, make eye contact, or say hi to the person you want to meet.

4. Listen:

You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you talk. Practice active listening. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be listened to!

3. Eye Contact:

Make eye contact, but please look your flirting interest in the eye gently, no more than 2-4 seconds, look away. Don’t stare – it’s a turn off.

2. Compliment:

Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The “flirtee” will know that you really noticed them. Your compliments must be honest, sincere, and genuine. When you receive a compliment the best response is merely thank you.

1. Smile:

It is contagious! It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and it will draw people towards you. You will be a people magnet! Try it.

Something else to consider:

Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

Seasons Greetings and an offer

Happy Christmas to all our readers…..I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Holiday online dating offer: Valid between Christmas day and the new year!
Simply enter promo code “holiday” and receive $30 off a dating profile photo session

(*Offer applies to full price photo session: exaple $197 package for just $167)

3 Things that Men Need to Know (and Women Need to look for)

As I write this post I realize there may be a few folks who disagree with what I say and that’s OK!

Confidence

1. Be Authentic and Confident in who you are

Confidence is key! Women love confidence. And I don’t mean cockiness…I mean the confidence to be authentic!
If you’re nervous about a first date then you might want to try some exercise an hour or two prior to getting ready and going out (Often being in your body will get you “Out” of your nervous mind)


And when it comes to talking- stay in the comfort zone by coming up with a few subjects that won’t get you into trouble (And AVOID at all costs Politics or Religion!…I know obvious eh!)
If you’re not sure what to talk about then  ask your date about their life, listen and go from there.

Also don’t forget there’s is a fine line between being confidence and cocky – nobody likes a cocky guy who is too cool, so keep it real

Ways to feel more confident:

Don’t slouch!
Take a couple of deep breaths and Stand or sit  tall! Pull your shoulders back  and pick your chin up No one looks confident if they are always looking down!
Slow down and take a breath
When you get nervous, your voice goes up and you’ll talk faster than you realize.  These are two dead giveaways for lack of confidence…so breathe deeply and relax…It’s not a race to impress her!

Don’t be needy

Drinks are fine for a first date. But don’t order a 6 course meal just to impress her…it won’t (Unless she’s just after your money in which case you’re better off ditching her)

Now I’m all about making a girl feel special…in fact your date should be planned with 2 things n mind

1. Make her feel special
2. Get to know her a bit better

But you don’t need to spend a ton of money on a first date; It just looks flashy, needy or both
(And if you have a beautiful car don’t feel obligated to tell her…that smells of deep neediness people who have money and tell everyone about it or people who pretend to have money are needy and rather boring)

3. Be a gentleman

2 words on this subject guys (MAN-UP)
Chivalry and honor aren’t dead, but most guys don’t get it and act like schmucks. Conduct yourself like a Gentlemen and you’ll gain a woman’s respect. Open her doors, Pay the check,  Be nice…Plus, you’ll feel better about yourself

Think About This!

Before you get a date you need to attract someone special!
Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, we all look at the photos first! so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Tracey Steinberg’s FLIRTING PARTIES in New York City

Meet Tracey
I like Tracey, She’s the real deal, her story is authentic and she knows her stuff!

Tracey began her career at the age of 24 as a successful civil litigation trial attorney. At that time she had a very active social life as a single woman in New York City and she thought she was as happy as she possibly could be.

On September 14, 2001 Tracey’s father was diagnosed with a serious illness and she began spending a lot of time with her parents. They are a fantastic team and watching them cope with that ordeal reminded Tracey how incredible it is to go through life with someone who deeply loves you. She was very affected by this time and it made her realize two things:

1. she deeply wanted the type of healthy marriage her parents have and
2. She deeply wanted it for everyone else who wants it.

After a lot of introspection, learning, and hard work, Tracey’s efforts paid off. Tracey met an amazing man who would later become her happy husband. She also completed her life coaching training with the Coach Training Alliance and then went on to complete both The Sage and Scholar’s Program for Coaching Singles and the Sage and Scholar’s Program for Career Coaching and built her unique brand of “Dateology” helping people find that someone special!


The concept of flirting Party

Flirting Parties® s were started by “Dateologist” Tracey.

I agree with Tracey “If you are not 100% comfortable meeting attractive single men or women, Flirting Parties were made for you”

In addition to being a lot of fun, everyone who attends these unique events are guaranteed to meet new people and walk away with valuable dating knowledge.

No more uncomfortable evenings
Tracey begins the evening by greeting you at the door making, helping you to relax and introducing you to other singles. Then, Tracey will share with everyone tips on how you can meet that interesting man or woman, how you can flirt with them in a sexy and confident way, and what you can do to ensure your exciting new friend wants to see you again. Of course Tracey shares all of this information in her playful way with lots of happy jokes thrown in to keep everyone smiling.

Dating Knowledge

Tracey will then walk around the room and encourage everyone to engage with everyone else.  She’ll also answer your questions, be your wing-woman, and offer you on-the-spot flirting tips regarding what you are doing right and what you may want to try in the future.

The next Flirting Party
The next Flirting Party in NYC will be at the gorgeous lounge located at 230 5th Avenue on November 7, 2013.  The event is just $65 to attend and everyone who joins will receive an amazing bag of gifts! For more details go to http://traceysteinberg.com/flirting-parties/

GlutenFreeSingles.com Great news for 3,000,000 Online Daters who are Gluten intolerant!

According to the University of Chicago’s “Celiac Disease Center” 3 million people in the USA alone are Gluten intolerant or “Celiac”.

In Perspective

Now let’s put this number into perspective…

The number of people with celiac disease in the U.S. is roughly equal to the number of people living in the state of Nevada.

People who have Celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, and even the smallest exposure to Gluten makes them sick.

So what’s this got to do with Dating? I hear you ask yourself.

Imagine

Well imagine having to do be aware of your intolerance to Gluten while dating, Imagine that first date proving to be a real challenge as you try to explain in that romantic moment how sick you’ll get if the restaurant isn’t super careful with your meal

Imagine getting sick after that first kiss…and you realize your date’s drunk beer. (Gluten can be found in a number of less obvious foods — things like pickles, candy and even meat) …Perhaps now you’ll get a picture of what many Celiac’s suffer.

Be mindful of that first kiss

What would you do if I told you there could be no kissing unless you brushed your teeth, flossed, and then rinsed with mouthwash?

GlutenFreeSingles.com started when two health conscious friends, one with Celiac disease and the other gluten-intolerance recognized the need for a gluten-free dating community that focused on singles with similar dietary needs. By creating GlutenFreeSingles.com they’ll help
the 3 million people who have Celiac disease and those who are gluten intolerant find valuable information, self-improvement, and long fulfilling gluten-free relationships.

“Being diagnosed with Celiac disease myself, I know that there can be a host of embarrassing situations that arise when dealing with special dietary needs on a date – especially when you are meeting someone new and going out to restaurants often. GlutenFreeSingles is a unique place where you can socialize and find gluten-free dating partners – or friends who share the same health goals,” said Marcella Romaya, co-founder GlutenFreeSingles

GlutenfreeSingles’ website also says that their goal is to create a community where users, “never have to feel alone, awkward, or a burden because you are gluten-free.”

Media comments

As this Dating website emerges and gets media Exposure I’ve heard journalists say that

“It remains questionable whether one’s dietary preferences or requirements are a useful basis for finding a romantic partner”.

Yet after looking online at the many Forums and groups for Celiacs to join…when I looked at the conversations around dating I saw that for many people who are Gluten intolerant that dating could be a nightmare and I couldn’t help but think that these words were written by someone who’d never suffered from Celiac Disease. I think that if I was Gluten intolerant that I’d sign up

Dating online? Regardless of your age, an important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Leaving a Bad date!


This post begins with 2 stories (One for men and one for women) followed by the same advice

A woman’s perspective

When you met this guy online his profile photo looked like John Depp; When you met him you realized that his profile photo was twenty years old and now he won’t stop talking about how his ex-wife broke his heart into a million pieces. Plus he’s got really bad breath. You sit there not wanting to hurt his feelings, waiting for the date to end!

A man’s perspective

When you met this woman online she was hot! And the emails were great too! You spoke to her on the phone and all went well, but now you’re on a date you feel really awkward, She was so rude to the waiter you feel embarrassed and now you she’s on her 4th glass of wine and you’re beginning to wonder if she has a problem with the booze…as she talks incessantly you sit there not wanting to hurt her feelings, waiting for the date to end!

Just Leave

If your date is being outright rude or abusive, leave. You don’t have to give this person a reason just leave.

If you’re date’s not rude or abusive.
You have a couple of options. Firstly be honest or secondly make up some BS story!

With Dignity

Most people aren’t stupid and will know when you fake an Illness or tell them you’ve a friend who needs help, or have plans have changed last minute is….So While it can be difficult I prefer treating the other person with dignity and simply saying I’m happy to have met you, yet I don’t see a future together for us, and I wish you the very best

No-one can stop you from having a good time

If your date isn’t what – or who – you expected, then it’s not the end of the world. Practice being laid back (it’s probably just an hour!) If you’re eating, focus on the food or the restaurant and enjoy yourself, if you’re walking on the beach enjoy the view!
I’ve been on many dates and my attitude was…”I’m dressed up and going out and NO-ONE is going to stop me having a good time)

Don’t forget to laugh afterwards

Call up a friend so you can share the painful details of the date and hopefully laugh about it

Dating online? Regardless of your age, an important thing you need to know…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

First date tips

Make the leap

Once you’ve made the leap and asked the question—or been asked the question—there’s always the problem of where you go for that crucial first date.

Picking the right location

Ideally, an idea for a great place will have popped up during your first little email exchange. If you know the person you’ve been chatting with likes the beach then a beachfront café is likely to be a good choice. If they said on their profile that they’re into salads and sushi then proposing a veggie bar or a Japanese restaurant will make it hard for your new friend to say no.

Be safe

Wherever you choose, the crucial rule is to make sure that you meet in a public place.

There’s no getting around this one. Even if you’ve been talking for a couple of weeks about how great the hiking route you’ve discovered is and how much your new pal will enjoy it—and even if they’re as enthusiastic as you are to check it out—the first date should still be in a spot where other people can see you.

Remember, you still don’t know the person you’re planning to meet, however long you’ve been swapping messages across the ether. It always pays to be cautious, especially on that first meeting.

Relaxed environment

For some people Cafes are good choices for dates because they’re relaxed, laid back and much less formal than dinner for two—which can feel a bit like a job interview. And activity dates are usually safe bets as well. If you run out of things to say about yourselves or each other, you can always talk about what you’re seeing or doing.

You could also take a historical walking tour of your local town, pay a visit to a museum, even take a spin on a rollercoaster. You could also make it a group thing and join two sets of pals together to take some of the pressure off that first meeting.

Remember

The first date isn’t just about whether or not you both walk away feeling as though you’ve been struck by lightning. Not all great relationships start with a bolt from the blue. It’s about whether you feel comfortable in each other’s company, can make each other laugh and find that you’d like to see each other again and get to know each other better. Many of the best relationships are those that grow out of friendship and a first date should always be seen as the first meeting with a new friend.

If that turns out to be a friend with benefits—and then a great deal more—so much the better.

And if not, maybe your new friend has friends…

Don’t sweat it

There’s always a huge amount of pressure on a first date. Don’t sweat it. Just think of it as a couple of hours with a new friend and if it doesn’t work out, just remember: there’s a dating site full of better options.
dating tips and profile photos 004

Think About This too!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Profile of a Jewish Matchmaker

Meet my friend Anna

Anna comes from a large family of what she calls “facilitated marriages”.
Her parents met through a New York City based dating service in 1986, her Aunt and Uncle met using the first computer dating system in 1969, numerous family members and friends met using online dating sites; and all have successful marriages with many children.

A Jewish Dating Expert
Anna helps many Jewish singles find their perfect match through her matchmaking business Chai Connections (Pronounced “HAI” in Hebrew as “HAI” means life, life connections)

A phone call with Anna

A few days ago I was talking on the phone with Anna and I asked her  why she became a matchmaker? I also asked her for a some advice that she could share with people looking to hire a matchmaker.

…here is Anna’s expert reply

Matchmaking: An Age Old Career Resurfaced

When I was in college, I found myself studying a particular subject, not often found in the University Course Catalog. I was naturally drawn to courses in Judaism; and I found myself fascinated by the subject of Jewish dating. In each of my Jewish Studies Courses, I was fascinated by stories about romantic relationships. While this may sound common for a young Jewish woman, I was intrigued by the intricacies of the relationships. How did they meet? What kept them together, or what brought them apart? How were they so certain that this was the right person? It became like an anthropological study of Jewish dating.

One year after my initial interest was sparked, I met with my Judaic Studies Professor to discuss the topic of my final paper for a Cultural Judaism class. My proposed topic was Jewish dating in conjunction with assimilation in the modern era. When I presented my thesis, my professor looked at me quizzically and asked, “Isn’t this the same topic as your paper from last semester’s course?” “Of course not! That was totally different. That was on romantic relationships in Orthodox communities, this is on Jewish dating in the modern era. They are totally different.” I responded. My professor hesitated, yet ultimately let me write the paper. I imagine her hesitation resulted from having never had a student write so much on this particular subject matter. As the years went on, my intrigue only grew stronger, and I continued to study the field.

Matchmaking

Most think of the practice as an age old tradition, popularized by films like “Fiddler on the Roof”.

The tradition of matchmaking goes as far back as the Bible, when Eliezer, servant of Abraham, was instructed to find a match for Abraham’s son Isaac. In fact, the Talmud states that the head Rabbi could give corporal punishment to a man who was married without a shiddchan, or matchmaker.

Nowadays, the idea that one would be required by law to have an intermediary facilitate their marriage seems ludicrous. However, if we take the time to really think about the logic, does it seem so preposterous?

Consider this

In modern America we have coaches for nearly everything we do. Financial consultants, athletic coaches, college counselors, spiritual guides, IT consultants academic advisers, the list goes on. Yet when it comes to choosing a partner, perhaps one of the most critical decisions we make in our lives, we rely primarily on ourselves to be the experts. On the surface, this makes sense. As human beings, we can pinpoint exactly what we want in life; what kind of career, where to live, how to raise a family, etc.. Therefore, we should be able to spot a desirable partner based on our own specific wants and needs. But when we want to find that partner, how do we go about it? And moreover, if we are lucky enough to find that perfect partner, how do we know they are the one? And finally, once we determine that that special person is in fact the one, how do we get them to stick around once they discover all of our minute idiosyncrasies? With all of the intricacies of dating, how can we truly be the expert in the game of love?

Who is the expert?

In Academia, we look to those who study a particular field as the experts. Scholars hone in on a specific subject matter: History, Philosophy, Religion, Political Science, Medicine etc… After a dictated period of time of study, they are awarded a degree, deeming them an expert; one to turn to when questioning a matter in that field. Yet when it comes to love, oftentimes we deem ourselves the expert. When I was in college, I studied Religion, one of my favorite professors always became infuriated when people insisted that one had to be religious to be an expert on Religion. He would make the analogy, that one doesn’t study Biology because they are biological; they study because they are interested in the science as a subject matter. So too could Religion be studied as a subject, not necessarily in conjunction with following it as a practice.

The subject of Love

Likewise, I’ve found that Love can be viewed as a subject matter; something that people can study, a Social Science perhaps, and become an expert in. Thus if becoming an expert requires study, rather than personal practice, how can we rely solely on ourselves the experts in our own love life? I think singles owe it to themselves to give in, and accept help from the experts.

Growing up, I never dreamed of becoming a matchmaker. While my interest in Jewish Dating as a subject matter grew in college, I never associated it with a career. In fact, I always dreamed of becoming a dentist, a field totally incongruous with Jewish Dating (unless you consider the many Jewish mothers who dream of their daughter marrying a doctor, and then settle when she finds a nice Jewish Dentist). It wasn’t until earlier this year that I realized I could actually make a career out of my passion. After my initial epiphany that matchmaking was in fact a modern practice, I met with my Rabbi to inquire about it. As a fellow Jewish Dating enthusiast, he was tremendously supportive of my venture, and thus Chai Connections was born (To see Anna’s blog click here)

Advice on hiring a Matchmaker.

The most important thing is making sure that the matchmaker you hire is compatible with your personality-spend a few minutes talking with them to see if your personalities and ideology are a good fit! (Otherwise it’ll be a painful waste of time.

Also don’t be afraid when choosing a matchmaker to ask them “What’s your track record” you want to feel confident in their ability to find you that someone special!

Something else to consider

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

8 Essential First Date Tips for Men

So guys maybe it’s been forever since you went on a date! -Don’t blow it! Here’s some tips to follow!

1. Don’t have any expectations

This tip applies to BOTH men and women Let any relationship unfold naturally instead of trying to force it where you want it to go.
You have no way of knowing how things will happen…just your mind in the present moment and enjoy things.

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2.Man up

I’m “Old school” and unrepentant-so here’s my advice!
Open the door, take her coat, pullout her chair, fill her glass and pay the check!

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3. Dress for the date

Pick clothes that make you feel great and dress for the date, what else can I say “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed men”

4. Be on time

Every woman wants to feel special, turning up late doesn’t make her feel special, allow for traffic and parking.

5. Relax and keep it real

Don’t put pressure on yourself to be sexy, smart or charming. Remember she wants to meet the real man, not who you wish you were…tryin to be the man you’re not (yet) will only stress you out and take away the fun of a date!

6.Turn off your phone

You are on a date! Do I really have to explain why?

7. Listen and talk

remember that the date is all about you both having an opportunity to get to know each other, try to listen as much as you talk. And don’t “over-share” on your first date…no-one wants to hear about Ex relationships or bad dates on the first date.

8. Don’t drink too much.

A drink or two is fine, just don’t get “messed up”.

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Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!
Online dating profile photos before and after (17)