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Do it and they will come – Pursuing new adventures to find Mr/Ms right

Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many hours (years) going to parties and events with the hope of meeting compatible and available singles? If so, now may be time to think about doing something different. Really different.

After all, we tend to move about socially in the same close-knit circles. The same guys/women at a friend’s party or at the functions held by our church or synagogue. Even the happy hour crowd can become all too familiar. Don’t despair. There are lots of new and exciting ways to meet people if you are willing to do a little local research and are game for some new adventures.

Before I get into the specifics, I need to emphasize the importance of having a basic plan. Primarily this involves a budget for time and money investment. It also requires that you really think about what would meet YOUR needs, as you get ready to commit to some new leisure activities and interests.

A good way to start is to spend a little time thinking about those things you always wanted to try or to learn about. For instance, have you had a desire to try hiking, biking, swimming or other athletic pursuits? What about something a little more exotic like caving, skydiving or scuba? Perhaps cultural pursuits are more to your liking, but you don’t know anyone you can share these with. If so, you may feel uncomfortable or just not interested in going out and doing them alone.

With some ideas in mind, (or maybe no specific list), you are ready to begin to gather information about local available resources.

Major metropolitan areas are rich in singles events. These are hosted by for profit companies as well as singles groups/clubs that are affiliated with religious and other private organizations. You can begin your search by looking through local newspapers and checking out the listings with you county, city or community center. A web search is also a great way to gather information. Just use keywords that include singles, activities, events, and the name of your local metropolitan area. If you live in an outer, less populated area, don’t give up. Look into what is available in the nearest large city. Also, note the trips for singles that allow you to meet people from around the country.

Once you have identified regional and local groups and organizations, begin to go through all their listings. Be open to hearing/reading about everything that is available. This process can give you a lot of ideas and will let you know what all your choices are. The list can be almost overwhelming! Many singles are searching for new adventures and this has led to an explosion of activities and events being offered.

The following is a “rough” list of what you may find:

  • Sports – volleyball, basketball, tennis, golf, sailing, horseback riding, and sports leagues for a number of team sports
  • Athletic – hiking, biking, canoeing, kayaking, white water rafting, camping, walking groups
  • Exotic athletic events – scuba, caving, skydiving, mountain climbing, hang gliding, paintballing
  • New Skill Learning – pistol-shooting classes
  • Cultural – museum tours, theatre, ballet, symphony, opera
  • Social – scavenger hunts, wine tasting at vineyards, group dinners

After you have made your picks, check to see that you can work them into your schedule and budget. Remember, as you make your final selection(s), that this is supposed to be FUN for you. Choose something that you believe you would enjoy and that would be basically within your ability to participate in. (i.e.) If you are terrified of heights, avoid skydiving.

Keep in mind that challenging athletic pursuits tend to bring out the (true) best and worst sides of us all. Not only will you give yourself an experience that can help you develop greater confidence and self-esteem, you will also learn more about yourself and how you relate to others. This will be true of the other participants as well. Therefore, you will get a much more candid snapshot of the singles you meet during these activities/events. You will also maximize your opportunity to meet like-minded singles, who share at least one of your interests.

So, pull some of those old dreams or recent fantasies out of mothballs. Let yourself play. Along the way you just may find a new favorite passion, a great friend or new love.

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Am I being too picky?

As a matchmaker and dating expert, the biggest frustration I have is watching GREAT people overlook other GREAT people for what are in my estimation…superficial reasons.

Here’s a fun little test that will reveal to you the answer to the question, “Am I being too picky?” Take a look at the last 10 to 20 ‘Candidates’ who’ve crossed your path. People you’ve dated, people you’ve selected through an online service, or just people you’ve met through your world whom you found interesting, attractive, and date-worthy. Go ahead – make the list. And start keeping this list and adding to it into the future. Every person you find date-worthy…write his name on your list.

Secondly, note by that person’s name if he/she was also interested in YOU. Did this person pursue you? Was he/she attracted to you? Did this candidate “go for” you? OK, here’s the tough part. Now you’ve got to do the math. I say, if the percentage of people on your “hot list” who also go for YOU is greater than 50%, then YIPPEE, you’re on track. If, however, a small percentage of your targeted candidates are interested in and attracted to you, then…we’ve got a problem. Tough as it is to accept, if the math shows you that less than 25% of your targeted date-worthy candidates are also interested in you, then it’s possible, um, well, likely actually that you’re being too picky. What to do about it?

You’ve got two choices: 1) Do some serious strategic and proactive marketing to better your chances in our highly competitive romantic culture (join dating services and singles clubs and be proactive, develop your flirting skills, meet lots and lots of people.) 2) Re-evaluate how you are doing your selecting, wrestle with and broaden your search criteria. A general rule of thumb to follow is – if you’re not averaging a better than 50% “Yes Factor” for the men or women you’re targeting, then you’re being too selective and limiting yourself too much to be able to expect success. Homework assignment: Make your long list of the criteria you’re seeking in your mate.

Go ahead, brainstorm, and have some fun with it. Then take a long walk and come back to that list. Isolate the Top Three Critical Criteria. Tough? You bet, but so important. Keep this short list handy, and notice that as you go through the dating process it might just change on you. If the guy/gal you’re considering has all three of your Top Three Critical Criteria, then I say, when in doubt, GO FOR IT. Meet this new person. Still in doubt? Meet again. Still don’t know?

Meet one more time. We gals have the ability to fall in love over time, for the right reasons. If the CRITICAL stuff lines up, then I’d suggest (and so would your mama) saying Yes to meeting and exploring the possibilities with those who meet your critical criteria. That magical thing called human bonding doesn’t even begin to show up until date number three. Be willing to stretch on the issues of lesser importance (height, hair issues, age, income, etc.

Keep the heart and the eyes open, or heck, blindfold yourself! I often wonder if sightless singles have an advantage in today’s media crazed world. And be willing to be surprised as to whom He or She just might turn out to be!

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!