Questions? 888.282.9777
Questions? 888.282.9777
Demo

Stand out from the crowd! The Perfect dating profile part 3

What You Should Never Put On A Profile

All of the things that we’ve recommended for you to put on your profile in this chapter are things that you like to do. If you enjoy hiking, say you like hiking and say where you like to do it. If you like reading, say you like reading and put a word or two about the last book you read. If you’re into cooking, say you spent a lot of time in the kitchen and mention which type of cuisine gets your taste buds flowing.

But don’t say what you don’t like to do.

Your dating site profile should always be positive. It should show that you’re a happy, contented person who wants to be even happier and more contented, not a sad, lonely person who wants someone to cheer them up. Nothing puts people off more than the whiff of desperation. No one wants to be a cheerleader for a losing side; they want to be part of the winning team.

Stick to the great things

online dating profile tips and great dating photos 004It doesn’t matter how keen you are to find a partner, how many times you’ve been burnt in the past or how much you know what you don’t want, stick to the great things you have and the even greater things you want to have.

Saying on your profile that you’ve just come out of a difficult divorce or that you don’t want someone who plays head games for example, will do nothing but put people off writing. It simply declares that you’re carrying giant, heavy trunks of baggage and anyone who dates you is going to be in for a rough ride.

A happy life

Your profile should read like an advert for a happy life. It should look like a real estate ad that lets readers imagine how happy they’ll be if they dating advicecan just get past the admissions committee and win a chance to live with you. Of course, no one really believes that what they see in the ad is going to be completely perfect in real life. Every property has dust in the attic or cobwebs in the corner but no realtor puts that in the brochure.

Your profile should sell the joys of a life with you. You can then choose which person actually gets the sale. By the time your new partner finds the cobwebs and the dust, they’ll already be sold enough to look beyond it. So keep the negatives out and accentuate the positive.

We said that the idea of your profile is always to get as many prospects as possible but that doesn’t mean you want timewasters. If you’re looking for a serious relationship with someone, you don’t want your inbox bothered by people looking for quick flings. The best way to keep out the people you don’t want to meet—without putting up a sign that’s also going to put people off that you might want to meet—is to simply keep all references to sex off the profile.

 Your online name

That includes the name you choose as your online identity.

One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when dating online is to choose a tag that reveals your real name—or to choose a name that puts across the wrong message.

Names like SexyAngel, Hot4U or Randyandy can say far more than you intended.

It’s much better to create a bland name with a string of strange numbers than to try to attract passing singles with a tag that says more than you want. If you think your name is creating the wrong impression, it’s worth making the effort to change it. Unless you’re looking just for sex, never refer to sex on your profile.

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

13Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

Stand out from the crowd! The Perfect dating profile part 2

In Part one of our article we spoke about what to put on a profile about you and what to leave out.

Describing Your Ideal Date

Writing about yourself is actually the easy bit. At least you know who you are and what you’re like.
Writing about someone you’ve never met requires a whole new bag of skills.

The goal here is to come up with a description that does three things:

  • Shows originality;
  • Describe the person you’d like to meet;
  • Invite anyone you might like to meet to send you an email.

Of these, the first is the least important and the last is the most important.

Lots of emails

When you first post your profile, you want to get as many emails as possible. If you find that you’re getting too many responses, then you can rewrite your description so that it’s a bit more selective. In practice if that happens, you’ll probably be too busy dating to bother looking at your profile again.

The best way to approach writing about your ideal date then is to forget about trying to picture your dream person and describing them. The factdating profile tips and online photos 003 is, your ideal person probably doesn’t exist but there are plenty of great people online any one of whom would make you extremely happy.

But how can you describe a whole bunch of real people you haven’t met? Clearly you can’t. And describing personality traits that you quite like is likely to be either too exclusive or too inclusive. Most people think of themselves as having integrity and compassion, and believe that they’re kind and considerate. Saying that you want someone who knows how to listen will cut your ideal person down to about… everyone.

Similarly, you might quite like the idea of settling down with someone who likes budgies as much as you do but it’s unlikely to be a deal-breaker and you could be just as happy with someone who doesn’t give a hang about birds.

Instead of trying to describe an imaginary person, it’s best to take a different tack: describe what you’d like that person to do for you or what you’d like to do with them:

My Ideal Partner:

My ideal partner would be smart, warm and witty, up for trips to the San Francisco Asian Art Museum and down with getting dirty on a muddy Sequoia trail. She’ll be happy to stay in and sip coffee, to cuddle up on the sofa with a good book or two and ready to try Yoga, strange types of massage and the kinds of mushrooms you only find in farmers’ markets.

The big idea then is to use the space given over to describing your ideal date to describe the things that you like to do. After all, ideally you’re looking for someone who’s prepared to share your life and fit in with your habits. You don’t really want to meet someone who hates everything you like and with whom you have nothing in common.

Again, being specific about what you want and what you like will let your personality shine through. It will show that you’re an interesting person and it will let a potential date picture you together doing fun, exciting things. A good Ideal Partner description should act like an open invitation to people who like the things that you like to write in and ask to join you.

In part 3 we’ll cover what things you should NEVER put in  a profile and

 

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

8 Essential First Date Tips for Men

So guys maybe it’s been forever since you went on a date! -Don’t blow it! Here’s some tips to follow!

1. Don’t have any expectations

This tip applies to BOTH men and women Let any relationship unfold naturally instead of trying to force it where you want it to go.
You have no way of knowing how things will happen…just your mind in the present moment and enjoy things.

first date tips for me image 001

2.Man up

I’m “Old school” and unrepentant-so here’s my advice!
Open the door, take her coat, pullout her chair, fill her glass and pay the check!

first date tips for men image 002

3. Dress for the date

Pick clothes that make you feel great and dress for the date, what else can I say “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed men”

4. Be on time

Every woman wants to feel special, turning up late doesn’t make her feel special, allow for traffic and parking.

5. Relax and keep it real

Don’t put pressure on yourself to be sexy, smart or charming. Remember she wants to meet the real man, not who you wish you were…tryin to be the man you’re not (yet) will only stress you out and take away the fun of a date!

6.Turn off your phone

You are on a date! Do I really have to explain why?

7. Listen and talk

remember that the date is all about you both having an opportunity to get to know each other, try to listen as much as you talk. And don’t “over-share” on your first date…no-one wants to hear about Ex relationships or bad dates on the first date.

8. Don’t drink too much.

A drink or two is fine, just don’t get “messed up”.

first date tips for me image 008

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!
Online dating profile photos before and after (17)

Online dating Safety tips

Its not often that I ask my readers to pass on a blog article to their friends, but here’s an exception, if you know anyone who’s online dating then forward them this article or post it on your FaceBook Wall….It might save a friend of yours from becoming shark-bait!

How to Land the Catch of Your Life… Without Becoming Shark-bait

However you like to do it, dating can be a dangerous game. Not talking to strangers might be sound advice to give to kids but as a strategy to stop being single, it has at least one obvious drawback. Unless you want to marry your cousin, finding someone to settle down with will involve making eye contact with total strangers, engaging them in conversation and meeting them one-on-one.

Two dangers

There are two obvious dangers here. The first is that your new friend might appear to be a complete charmer but could actually be a cold-blooded philanderer with a record of heart-breaking. They’ll think nothing of leading you on, playing games and trampling over your emotions. That’s bad enough and you’ve probable had enough of people like that already.

The second danger is even worse, even if it is a great deal rarer. The attractive stranger that you meet in the bar could actually be an escaped convict from the local sanatorium. Instead of finding someone who makes you feel safe and secure for the rest of your life, you pick someone up who’s going to put your safety at risk and require you to take out a series of court orders and new alarm systems.

Although the chances of meeting someone like this online is extremely small, it is worth making the effort to be cautious. In this chapter, we’re going to talk about how to steer clear of this second group and stay safe online.

Anonymity Cuts Both Ways

When you meet someone in a bar, the initial pick-up is as much a safety check as it is a check-out. If you spot someone attractive sitting alone at the table next to yours, before you even give them a look—before you make any kind of contact at all—you observe them for a few minutes to see how they behave with the waiters, by themselves or with people who pass by. If they are rude, arrogant or just downright unpleasant, it doesn’t matter how much of a looker they are, you’re still going to look right on by. Only if you’re sure they’re a normal, civilized human being do you try to make eye contact, pluck up the courage to face rejection and make your move.

And once you do make that move, you’re always looking out for little signals that tell you that the person you’re talking to is less than normal. There are all sorts of clues to help you do that: the way someone dresses, the way they talk and their body language to name but a few—and you notice all of them without even realizing that you’re looking for them.

A cowboy hat and a Texas drawl for example, tell you instantly where someone is from and where they stand in the country’s cultural divide. Bleached hair and sentences that end with ‘dude’ tell you much the same. Nervous twitches, roaming hands and peculiar scratching all say something about the person you’re sizing up and help you make a decision about whether you should make a date or make an excuse

Face-to-face, you’ve got a ton of different signals that tell you huge amounts about the person you’re thinking of chatting to.

Online, you’ve got nothing to go on but what the person puts on their profile and writes in their email.

“Unlike real-life relationships where you have some idea of what a person drives, what they really look like, how they live, etc., online you have none of that,” says Lisa Hupman, a veteran online dater.“You give more trust than is actually due because you have no choice.”

 Little Choice

And the reason you have no choice—or more accurately, little choice—about the level of trust you give is that the main tool that protects you online is the same thing that protects the occasional nutcase who roams the Web: anonymity.

There is no way for two people who exchange emails online to know the real identities of the people they’re writing to. The email you receive lands in an inbox located on the site.

Bear no relation

The name you choose is one you create and should bear no relation to your real identity.

As long as you don’t let your real, full name slip out before you’ve built up a certain amount of trust, you start an online relationship fully protected by the fact that the person who writes to you has no idea who you are, where you live or how they can get hold of you outside the site.

When you date online, the dating identity that’s doing the looking exists only on the Internet. There’s a complete barrier between your online self and the real you—and that barrier is your best protection against any wacko you might be unlucky enough to meet online.

If you have the bad luck to meet a loony at a dating site, as long as you’ve kept your identity a secret, there’s no way that they can bother you in real life.

Of course, that works for them too. Because there’s no way for you to check the identity of someone you meet online, you’ve got no idea whether the doctor who sent you an email got his or her degree certificate from Harvard, as they claim, or ordered it from a website in Romania. You’ve got no idea if they were really working for the Peace Corps for the last two years or spent that time sewing mailbags in a state penitentiary. And you’ve got no idea whether the person who described themselves as passionate will leave you alone once you tell them you’re not interested or hang around outside your front door waiting for you to come home from work.

If only there was a checklist

It would be nice if there were a checklist that you could go through when you meet someone online. If they mentioned ‘knives’ more than three times in the first email, you could tick a box. If they mentioned that they served multiple sentences for violent crimes, that would lead you to tick another box, or if they talked about their friendship with Osama Bin Laden that would strike them out.

But it’s not that easy.

The best way to keep yourself safe online is to follow three simple rules: keep your anonymity as long as possible; remember that if something feels wrong, it probably is; and cut them out quick and completely as soon as you smell something fishy.

1. Keeping Your Name (And Everything Else) To Yourself

There’s no reason at the beginning of an online relationship for you to say who you are, where you work, where you live, what your telephone number is or any other identifying detail that you might later regret.

When you start exchanging emails, you can chat about your hobbies. You can talk in general about the kind of work you do. You can say that you like walking in Central Park or heading out to Sequoia. But tell someone you’ve never seen, never met and whose real name you don’t know that you live at 123 Killmenow Road, Apt. 103 and it’s certainly possible that you’ll have reason to regret it when you find yourself looking for a new apartment.

It’s enough to say that what they’re not supposed to do is draw out personal information that would allow your new pal to find you offline.

If they ask exactly where you work, you can just say a big law firm in the city or a clothes store in town.

2. If Something Looks Wrong, It Probably Is…

That’s because on the Internet, it pays to be suspicious.
The vast majority of the people you meet online will be as honest, direct and truthful as the people you meet offline. It’s unlikely that you’ll come across many angels who will lay out their entire life histories, warts and all, right at the beginning, but it’s also very unlikely that you’ll be unfortunate enough to come across any axe-wielding psychopaths or the stereotypical man masquerading as a woman—or vice-versa (most of those seem to have run off since the early days of the Internet).

For the most part, you’ll find that the vast majority of fibs you encounter on dating sites tend to concern age, weight, income and of course photo, with ten-year-old graduation photos passing as up-to-date snaps.

That’s certainly bad enough but it’s not a threat and you can decide, when you uncover the real story, whether the truth has been stretched beyond the bounds of forgiveness.

You can also get a feel for when someone’s lying online—even if you can’t see the way they behave when they’re spinning you a story and you can’t hear in their voice that not even they believe what they’re saying. It’s hard to keep a story straight and there are often little inconsistencies the tell you that something isn’t quite right.

If someone born in 1974 for example, talks about having been in their current job for twelve years and their previous job for fifteen, then that should set alarm bells ringing. If a potential date who claims on their profile never to have been married mentions a stay with ex-in-laws, that should raise a red flag. And if someone says they don’t like spending time with the police that should send out a serious warning.

These are exactly the kind of tell-tale signs that tell you that something isn’t quite right. And when you get those signs, it’s always a good idea to trust your instincts.

3. Cut Them Out Quick

We’ve already mentioned that you might come across two different kinds of deception online: the more common truthful economies that exaggerate positive qualities such as youth or wealth at the expense of complete honesty; and the total lies that obscure a character that likes to stalk, harass or otherwise make life miserable for their unfortunate victim.
When you come across the first type—and there’s a fair chance that you will come across the first type online, just as you’ll come across milder forms offline too—you can decide what you want to do. If you’re dealing with just a mild little exaggeration you might be willing to forgive them their trespasses (just you might be hoping that people will forgive you yours).

But if you get the feeling that the person you’re dealing with is even close to being on the dangerous side, the best thing to do is cut them out quickly.

Just about all dating sites allow you to block emails from members who are bothering you. Add them to your blocked list and if you’ve managed to keep your identity details secret, that should be the last you hear from them.

Don’t think twice

Don’t even think twice about it. With millions of people searching for singles online, with such a huge reservoir of people to choose from, there’s absolutely no reason for you to take any risks at all on the Internet. The dangers are just too great and the alternatives too many for you to bother with them.

Red flag waving

The moment you see even the slightest hint of a red flag waving, cut, run and move on to the next likely prospect. There are far too many fish in the sea for you to waste your time and your safety swimming with the sharks.

Millions of people have used online dating sites without ever coming across the slightest hint of danger, risk or deception. If you do see a flag, it’s more likely to be the light pink of a couple of years shaved off a birth date than the throbbing red of a psycho looking for a victim. While it’s perfectly possible—and even easy—for someone to misrepresent their qualifications online, it’s no less easy for you to protect yourself from any danger and look for someone more honest.

To keep safe online, and to protect yourself from nasty surprises such as lying Lotharios and deceptive divas, you’ll need little more than common sense and a sensitive nose for the whiff of deceit.

 

Another important thing you need to know…get good dating profile pictures

Having  great dating profile pictures is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great online dating photos we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Outstanding Dating profile photos for New Yorkers.

An Online dating photographer, a few questions and a tip

As we get lots of requests from people who want online dating photos in New York, I thought I’d showcase one of our talented photographers in New York, ask a her a few questions about dating profile photos and get you a tip on preparing for a photo-session so that you can get the best dating profile photos possible!

dating photographer melody 003

Meet Melody and her impressive resume

Melody is a native New Yorker, a fine art and portrait photographer, she regularly exhibits in galleries in NYC and currently has a one-woman-show at Pratt called “Beauty in the Beast”.

For the last two years she’s produced a cable TV show on MNN called Melody’s Media Mix. And in 2005, she won the award for outstanding photography and graphics instructor of the year from the Association of Graphic Communicators.

Melody has been a photographic and digital graphic instructor at Pratt Institute for 18 years, and teaches photography and the “digital darkroom” at CUNY.

An “on Location” Photographer

Melody is an “on location” photographer. “On location” means that rather than go to a photography studio that you meet the photographer in a relaxed out of studio location.

Some Questions for Photographer Melody

What Locations are perfect for taking Dating photos in New York City?
I have scouted many locations so that I have the perfect place no matter what the weather is doing! I love Interesting indoor/outdoor hotel lobbies, urban retail centers, private pocket parks, galleries, the Met, Central Park of course, Riverside Drive Park, by the Hudson River, and most recently, The High Line, a public park built on an historic freight rail line elevated above the streets on Manhattan’s West Side. Also I am always open to a suggestion of a special place you might like or feel comfortable.

Why do you prefer creating online dating photos for people on location?
I think that shooting outside of the studio environment get s people remarkable results when it comes to online dating photos. I think people can be more spontaneous, relaxed and at the same time stimulated by a non-studio environment for natural unposed expressions …often studio shots end up looking tense and posed and actually backfires on peoples wish to have a natural real and flattering photo of them when they choose an on location venue.

How do you make people feel comfortable when you take online dating photos?
I make people comfortable with relaxed humor. I will talk to you while I am shooting, like a director might, trying to evoke that special expression. I try for that you’re-at-a-party-and-someone’s-called-your-name-and-you’re-looking-over-and- laughing look.

Even if you never had professional photos taken, (and most people have not) you will have a relaxing and fun experience while getting to discover your best, and sometimes hidden,

A Tip for preparing for a photo-session from Melody
One tip I have is that prior to a photo session is to take the time to wear the clothes that you want to be photographed in front of your mirror! Find out which clothes make you feel more confident when you’re wearing them, don’t wear new clothes for the first tie when at a photo-session, look at yourself wearing them in the mirror. Your photos are important so take the time to prepare and bring a compact mirror and lint roller with you, but most of all bring a smile and know that I’ll be helping you relax and bring out the real you!

To see more of Melody’s work or book a photo session with her please visit
http://www2.lookbetteronline.com/Photographer_New-York_1615_10003.html

The easy way to enjoy online dating

I’ll keep this post short and useful!

I’ve talked to many people who hate online dating!

The Story

The usual story goes like this:

“I’m way too busy at work to meet many new people,  so I decided that online dating would be a good idea, but now I hate going on so many dates with strangers who are definitely not who I’m looking for! I wish I wasn’t single and I could meet the one for me and stop dating”

Endless date after date…hoping that the next person will be the special one doesn’t sound like much fun!

Remember all the dates you felt disappointed when things didn’t work out the way you expected? when you thought that he or she could be the right one and 10 minutes into your date you were so disappointed?

A different story

Here’s an easier way to look at online dating

“I’m way too busy at work to meet many new people,  so I decided that meeting people online would be a good idea, I know that I might have to meet a lot of people to find someone special but I’m in no rush and in the meantime I can meet lots of people and hear lots of different perspectives on the world. Eventually I’ll find someone special even if it takes a while”

Chill out

When tell ourselves a better “Story” about our dating then we can finally “chill out” and relax a little.
Going on a date now has no pressure, no expectations, you can simply get to know another human being.

Letting life unfold

letting life unfold gracefully for us is an art, yet the more we practice it the happier we’ll be.

Think About This!

13Before you get a date you need to attract someone special!
Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, we all look at the photos first! so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

5 Things NOT To Do On a First Date (For Men)

On a first date, while most men are happy to be going out on a date with a girl and are hoping that they impress her. She will be quietly trying to figure out what kind of person you are, whether you’re worthy of her time and whether she sees a future with you.

There are many small things that may seem like nothing to you but will be deal-breakers for her. For men, the main aim of a first date is not to make her fall head over heels in love with you or to tell her everything about you. it’s to intrigue her enough to secure a second date.

Get clued up on these deal-breakers and you won’t be left wondering why you’ve just received a rejection text the next day or why she no longer returns your calls.

1.       Don’t fiddle with the phone

It’s so annoying when you’re putting in the effort to talk to someone and they’re more interested in replying to their friend’s trivial text about the crazy thing they did last night or where they are at the moment. Stop fiddling around with whatever you have in your pocket and show your date that you’re genuinely interested in her by giving her your full attention. You can call or text your friends any time but you’re not going to get another chance to make a positive first impression on this woman. The only time you can use your phone is when you’re involving her as well by showing her a picture of you or a funny text conversation you had with a friend. It may even help to spark a conversation.

2.       Don’t talk about your last relationship

There are few things that can put a woman off on a first date than having to listen to you talk about your last relationship and how it ended so badly. In her head, the first date could be the start of something new and exciting and although she no doubt knows that you will have had past relationships, it’s not the first thing she wants to think of when she thinks of and whether she has a future with you. There will be plenty time to talk about how badly your past relationships were on the fourth or fifth date when you know each other a lot better but for now, the aim is to tell her something about you that sets you apart from the rest of the bunch and sparks her interest in you. Also, women prefer guys who come across as positive and optimistic. It allows them to be happy around you to and enjoy themselves with you. Talking about how something ended badly for you on the first date will banish any chances you have of making her enjoy herself and instead will create a dull, uncomfortable atmosphere that most likely will not end well for you.

3.       Don’t dress too formal or too informal

What you wear is important. You don’t need to dress in the most expensive clothing or wear something that the music artists are wearing these days but you should wear something that you personally look good in and feel comfortable in. Unless the situation warrants it, a suit on a first date is probably a little too formal. Over dressing on the first date when you barely know your date may make you seem too clingy or desperate and could scare her away. On the flip side, dressing too informal or looking scruffy will make her think you don’t care. While everyone has their own style, if you’re struggling to think of what to wear, opt for a nice, well ironed shirt with the top button open and some casual looking chinos. You can always find a good selection of shirts here. Your hair doesn’t need to be heavily gelled or styled but it should look neat. You need to look good but you don’t want to give her the impression that you spend longer getting ready than she does.

4.       Don’t forget the chivalry

Chivalry is very important, for some reason we are seeing a lot less of it these days.  On a first date, she will be wondering what you want from her in terms of where you want this date to end up. She doesn’t know whether you’re interested in a long term relationship or whether you’re just after a one night stand. Regardless of what you’re after, chivalry makes a woman feel special and wanted without making you seem needy or desperate – a very attractive trait in a man. Although many women may not admit it, they like to be pampered by a man at least a little bit and like to have moments when they feel admired or feminine. So open the door for her and pull up a chair for her – she’ll appreciate it and so will her friends when she tells them.

5.       Don’t forget to let her talk

Have you noticed how women can’t seem to stop talking when they’re with their girlfriends but when they meet a guy they barely know, they sometimes struggle to start a conversation?

If your date isn’t talking to you a lot, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t like you, it could be that she is shy or afraid to open up to you. One of the best ways to determine whether the first date was a success or not is to look at how much she spoke on the date. She’s a woman so rest assured she can talk and hold a conversation so start asking her open ended questions without it becoming an interview and try to make her feel comfortable.

Start the date by talking about something light. If you’re struggling to think of something to talk about then make a funny comment about something around you. Ask her open ended questions on topics that she is interested in and then give your own take on her reply. If you can’t think of something to say then just regurgitate what she has said. It will make her think that you are listening to her and she will appreciate this. The aim is to have her talking most of the time but for you to steer the conversation into a direction which you feel comfortable talking about.

 

Think About This!

Before you get a date you need to attract someone special!
Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, we all look at the photos first! so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

 

 

5 Dating Strategies for the Single Entrepreneur

My friend says she’s too busy to date.

As an owner of a couple of businesses she recently asked  me “I spend a lot of time at work, making it difficult to meet the right man…so how exactly am I supposed to meet the right man”.

I didn’t have an answer…

Until yesterday when my Friend (And Dating expert) Amy Schoen shared an article that she’s written called “5 Dating Strategies for the Single Entrepreneur”.

A dating expert

Let me introduce you to Amy

For those of you who read my posts you’ll know that I’ve featured my friend Amy’s expert advice…

Amy Schoen motivatedtomarry.com has been transforming people to be their best for over 20 years.  Amy has the gift of visualization and uses this gift to ask the right life and relationship questions to visualize the kind of life they truly desire.  To move clients towards positive action, Amy draws upon her vast life experiences, business experiences and keen knowledge of people.

5 Dating Strategies for the Single Entrepreneur

My friend Jonathan is self-employed and single.  He talks about how it would be so nice to have a relationship in his life and yet I do not see him making the time for the process of dating.  He tells me that his work is very demanding and that he is barely keeping up with his clients.

Having your own business or being self-employed is very challenging, as well as rewarding.  Add being single to the equation and it can be a very lonely place to be.  I was single while I ran a women’s clothing boutique.  Although I worked incredible hours and had a 7 day a week operation, I made a concerted effort to date and meet people which eventually led me to meeting my husband.  This is how I recommend you fit in dating into your hectic work schedule:

Get Clear on What your Life Goals and Priorities Are

What are your goals and priorities in life?

–          Work

–          Family

–          Finding a life partner and getting married

–          Community service

–          Athletic activities

–          Personal/ social activities

Rank them from 1 to 6, 1 being the most important.  What came up for you during this exercise?

Next, where do you see yourself in 5 years?  Would you be happy being single at that time?  It’s time to be honest with your-self.

Just like you have a business plan for your business, you need to develop a life plan for your life.  When you focus on obtaining and having the important things in life, things will happen for you.

Put your Personal Time on Your calendar and Stick to it!

When you decide to carve out some time for your personal life which may include the pursuit of meeting someone for a relationship, make an appointment with yourself on your calendar.  How many hours a week are you willing to commit to this endeavor?

You need to apply the same time management skills to your personal time as you do to your work time.  Do you consider the event or activity for meeting people to date urgent, desirable or eventually need to do?

Go ahead, put this date in your calendar and commit to keeping this appointment with yourself!

Decide on What Trade Offs You Are Willing To Make

Life is often about trade-offs.  What are you willing to sacrifice to have what you want?  It may be for a short time or a long time depending on your success on meeting the right person for you.

Are you willing to work some less hours and make less money?  Perhaps you would be willing to hire someone to do the work that is least desirable to you.  I hired a book-keeper even though I was very capable of doing the work myself.  I ended up using a mailing service for my promotional materials when I did the labels for mailing myself at early on in my business.  I thought it was more important to free up my time for what I enjoyed rather doing the detailed, repetitive tasks.  I hired smart college students to do some of the busy work for me.

Even if you bring in help seasonally, it may free you up for a vacation or a long weekend!

Consider hiring an assistant to help you with writing letters, making appointments and following up with phone calls to your clients. Now virtual assistants are becoming very popular with business owners.

Use Efficient Dating Techniques

There is a time cost and benefit to every singles event and dating service available to you.  Once you have a handle how much time a week you want to put towards dating, and then you need to decide how much financial resources you want to devote to these endeavors.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to get a real clear picture of your values.  Your values are what’s most important to you in life.For instance, kindness and compassion may be very important to you. Therefore, this is what you would want in a mate, as well. Once you have your valued constructed, then you have a guideposts for which you can evaluate your potential partner.

Next, it’s important to get clear on what you want in life.  Do you want a children? If not, you need to be clear with your potential dates that you are not interested in children.  You may not even want to date divorced people with kids.  Then opposite may be true as well. If you want children and someone doesn’t then there is no point pursing a relationship with this person.  This will save you much time and anguish!

Now you are ready to see who is out there and who will be best suited for you.  If you are willing to spend the money, you may consider a reputable matchmaker or dating service.  The internet can be a good way to meet people to date.  You can search the net at all hours of the day or night. However, it may take a lot of searching and weeding out. It can be very frustrating when people do not return your emails. Try more than one site.  Different sites will produce different results.

Last, ask friends, family or perhaps business associates who know you well to introduce you to people to date.  Tell them what you are looking for in a mate so they can be helpful to you.  Don’t be shy to ask them to you up. One of my clients was very good about getting the word out that she was looking to meet someone to date.  She eventually got fixed up with someone she really likes.

Combine Fun and Recreation with Meeting People

What is fun and relaxing for you?   It is not healthy to work all the time and not have any play! If you enjoy socializing, then the singles events may help you get out and be with people.  Who knows, you may pick up a client if not a date! For the athletic types, sports activities such as biking groups or tennis parties may be a way to have fun and meet someone to date. If you are into working out to keep your shape and stamina, then the gym can be a place to meet those of the opposite sex who also share this desire to keep fit.  Perhaps you will entertain taking a ski trip or a hiking trip with a singles group.
Taking vacations are critical to maintaining sanity for an entrepreneur.
If you love traveling, you may consider joining a singles travel group to see various parts of the world.  There are even singles cruises for those who enjoy traveling by sea.  I know a woman who loved yoga and found a travel group that incorporated daily yoga into the trip. Imagine finding your soul-mate while doing what you truly love!

As an entrepreneur, you have already experienced what happens when you have a vision of what you want and focus on that goal.  You have built your thriving business with your drive and determination.  You can also have a fulfilling relationship if you apply your same drive and determination to that area of your life.  It may just take some re-balancing of your energy and focus.  Nonetheless, the benefits of finding that rewarding romantic relationship can last a lifetime!

More about Amy

Coach Amy Schoen helps marriage minded individuals who are ready to take action to find true love with a values based approach that has proven results, especially online.  Learn more about Coach Amy and her coaching system go to http://www.MotivatedtoMarry.com.

Also think about this!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Dating tips for Guys who have been dumped (Dump the drama and Grow some balls)

Wow that’s a harsh Blog title isn’t it! Sorry if it seems harsh I just wanted to get your attention and help you get to a happier place

A True Story

Let me tell you a true story about a friend of mine!

My friend (Let’s call him Dave) was going through a messy divorce..he had married the girl of his dreams only to find out that a few years later his dream had died and she was leaving him and wanted a divorce. Now Dave was a wreck, he was pleading with his wife to try and work things out, grasping at anything he could to try to make his marriage work.

What was painfully obvious to all his guy friends was that she’d met a new guy and was cheating on him (She’s been posting pictures of her new boyfriend on Facebook and it seemed that everyone but Dave knew what was going on!)

I wanted to help Dave

I wanted to help Dave and I knew a man that could help him…

Let me introduce my great friend Anthony Clark…he’s a former professional male escort and dating coach, he’s a great friend to me, a loveable, Authentic character who walks his talk!

I thought that if I could persuade Dave to talk to Anthony and read his book- so that he could begin the process of picking himself up from his messy divorce.

The name of his book…

He met Anthony and immediately liked him…then Anthony told him to read a copy of his book, the book is called

“How to Get Over That Bitch and Grow Balls They Can’t Resist”

ballsNow let’s be clear from the very beginning…Anthony says:

“This book was not written to degrade or humiliate women. I use the term “Bitch,” to express the anger and frustration that men feel towards the women who dumped them, or have broken their hearts.
The “Bitch,” whom I am referring to in the title… can also pertain to a man, a boss, or anyone who treats you with disrespect!”

Written by relationship expert and former male escort, Anthony Clark “The Game Dr.” Co-written by Melanie Kira Clark.
This is a 196 page fast, easy and hilarious read that will forever change the way you love & date.Perfect for men of all ages…and perfect to read if you’ve just been dumped!

Dave refused to read the book

What was frustrating to me was that Dave refused to read the book properly, he read a few pages and angrily told me that the book was written for “Meat-heads”.

I think that Dave didn’t read the book fully because if he did it would mean that he had to grow some balls and change! (Sorry Dave if you’re reading this you know I love you man)

I also think (And while I’m no expert just a regular guy I’m not stupid) that Dave was trying so hard to make things right in his failing marriage that he ended up behaving in a desperate, needy and submissive relationship with his soon to be ex wife.

His Ball-less behavior made her lose passion, admiration, and respect for him.

A year and a half later

Now this blog post isn’t designed to bash Dave (In fact a year and a half later he’s learning once again to grow some balls, step up and I see that he’s becoming a happier guy).
What amazes me is just how much time he wasted crying in his beer!

If  he’s just read the book I’m TOTALLY CONVINCED  that he would have save himself a year of unhappiness!

SO guys if you are reading this and you’ve been dumped OR you know a friend who’s a mess and who’s crying in his beer after his lady has dumped him for the sake of $20 get this book! It’ll save you a ton of wasted time and drama!

And then  read it!….

Think About This!

Having great online dating photos is the most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

Why do I continue to attract the same guy in a different pair of pants?

Meet Marla,
She’s a professional matchmaker working in Los Angeles who definitely knows her stuff! She helped countless couples connect with their soul mates and go on to marriage.

Helping others find that someone special

Marla is a certified life/dating coach, author and motivational speaker and has appeared on the Today Show, WGN Chicago Morning News, San Diego Living, KUSI San Diego Morning, Better TV, Urban Rush and over 40 radio shows including Coast to Coast AM, Playboy Radio and The Cooper Lawrence Show. Marla is passionate about helping others find that special someone to go through life with, someone that makes life sparkle.To learn more about Marla CLICK HERE

As an expert Matchmaker Marla undwerstands the value of good photos, She told me “You are so right about having good photos for online dating..and even when using a matchmaker, because I also have to send pics to my clients and they have the right to turn someone down and often do because of a photo”.

Expert advice

But today I’d like to share with you Marla’s insight on Why many women attract the same guy over and over again. Many women complain that they just can’t seem to find the right man, that they always end up with the wrong guy!

Same guy in a different pair of pants

When we think about love, our soul mate, settling down and getting married, and so on, we often go back to our childhood thoughts on this subject. These thoughts condition how we think, and what we expect our relationships to look like.

Are you seeing anyone?

Many women think they should be in a relationship, not because they really want one or are ready for one, but because it’s just the thing to do. The pressure to be in a relationship is so automatic at times that we don’t even think about it. Do you ever notice that when you are single, friends and family are always asking you, “Are you seeing anyone?” or “How’s your love life?” If you say you’re not seeing anyone, they all want to fix you up. Your friends all think that you are such a catch, so how can you be single? On the other hand, if you are in a lousy relationship, they want to know, “Why are you with that loser?” The quest to find Mr. or Ms. Right has become so popular that there seem to be a million online dating sites, matchmaking services, books and talk radio shows on the subject. Everywhere you look, there is some reference to finding the love of your life.
Unfortunately, when you jump from guy to guy without analyzing why you want to be in a relationship, what your needs are and where your self esteem falls in the range between lower than an ant or as high as the sky, you will tend to fall right back with the same ole’ same ole’ …. Different guy, in the same pair of pants!

Take stock

I suggest that you take stock and decide why you want a relationship right now. Do any of these reasons ring true?

– I am lonely.
– All of my friends are in a relationship.
– I can’t afford to go to nice restaurants unless a man invites me.
– I feel like a loser without a man in my life.
– My mother keeps asking me when I’m going to get married.
– My biological clock is ticking.
– I want to get over my divorce or last relationship.
– I want a man to support me so that I don’t have to work anymore.
– I want to get even with someone or make someone jealous.

It’s better than being alone

Many times people just jump right into a relationship or stay in one with the wrong person because they feel that it’s better than being alone. Jenny, a twice-divorced mother of two has a good job and wonderfully supportive girlfriends, but she repeatedly gets into relationships that are not good for her. She is currently in a relationship with a man who beats her and puts her down because “it’s better than being alone.”
Watching the news lately, it seems like every day I see a story about someone (usually a woman) who is missing or found dead, killed by an ex-lover or spouse. Even if we are lonely, the people we choose to let into our lives need to be chosen carefully.
That’s why I am inviting you to really look at whether or not you are ready for a relationship right now. Maybe you just got out of a bad relationship, are recently divorced, or had a death in the family and need to heal. There is nothing wrong with being alone and working on yourself to make sure that you are a complete, whole and healthy person who is ready to give your all with the right person. I’ve always liked the saying, “I’d rather be healthy and alone than sick with someone else.”

The right reasons

If you agree with any of these statements, you want to be in a relationship for the right reasons.

– I love my life, and I want to share my happiness with someone.
– I feel totally ready to find my soul mate and start a family.
– I have so much to give to the right person.

Don’t waste your time

Another reason we may stay too long in a relationship is that we hope the person will change. We tell ourselves, “I’ve found the perfect person for me. If only he, or she, could change this or that, we would be incredible together.” Listen up. This is really quite dangerous! You cannot change someone. It is very important to realize this. It is so tempting to try to do so when we find someone that seems so irresistible. I have heard too many people, especially women, say something like, “He has such potential. I can change him.”

Here’s a great tip: don’t waste your time attracting potential. Spend your energy attracting the person who is already right to you! Find someone who already has the qualities that you are looking for in another person. No one wants to be changed or nagged or disapproved of. Yes, once two people are in a committed relationship, there are things that each might have to bend a bit or compromise on to live together harmoniously, but in general, you can’t change someone, so don’t even try! If you don’t like the qualities that your partner possesses, either accept him or her the way they are or break up and find a partner who already has those qualities that you are seeking, and you will be on the path to meeting Mr. Right in a whole new pair of pants!

Dating online? Something to think about…

Whether you are 25 or 95 Having great online dating photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how with great profile pictures we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!