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Liz Kelly

Liz Kelly

Liz H. Kelly is a Dating Coach and Author of SMART Man Hunting. Her book and work have been featured on television shows such as Dick Clark’s “The Other Half” and Lifetime’s “Speaking of Women’s Health” and in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Complete Woman, and the Chicago Tribune. She is a Contributing Writer to John Gray PhD’s MarsVenus.com, Lookbetteronline.com, Yahoo! Personals, and Smart Woman magazine.

5 Internet safety tips

Let these safety tips guide you through email, phone and live contacts

Let these safety tips guide you through email, phone and live contacts

While Internet dating can open many doors for daters, you need to be smart and safe when meeting people online. Use these 5 Net SMART safety tips to protect your privacy. Based on interviews with hundreds of active internet daters for my dating book, SMART Man Hunting (http://www.smartmanhunting.com), I developed these guidelines for you.

In addition to these interviews, I personally tested 7 online dating sites, ended up with 4-7 dates/week and found my guy through an online matchmaker. You can also find love online.

When you search for love online, you need to be careful because not everyone has the same value systems. Be cautious when dealing with strangers and take precautions to shield your privacy at all costs.

While the flood of emails that you will receive from Internet dating can be a great ego boost, let these safety tips guide you through email, phone and live contacts.

1. Be Anonymous When Emailing

When you set up your Internet dating profile, matchmaking web sites will give you an account that allows you to stay anonymous. Avoid using anything that could identify you when you select your username or email address.

Set up an email account that is fun and anonymous. For example, if you have an email with your name in it, then do not use this account for online dating. Just figure out any kind of fictitious name or “handle.” If you’d like, you can use an email address that reveals something about yourself such as a hobby or personal trivia. For example, my email address was tied to my interest in sailing (ex. pacificsails@hotmail.com). One of my male candidates used “greeneyes” as his username, which helped him stand out in the crowd.

2. Take a Second Look at the Photos

If you are suspicious about the age of a photo that you see on an Internet dating profile, you might want to ask the person for a recent photo. Check out the response and you might just be surprised by what comes back.

One of my dating coaching clients recently sent me two photos of a woman he met online with very different current versus profile photos. He was smart to ask for a recent photo.

I also interviewed a woman for SMART Man Hunting who had a surprising lunch with a guy who did not look anything like his profile photograph. The online photo made him look around 35 with dark hair, and when she went on the date, the guy was completely gray and closer to 50-years-old. You want to avoid this situation if possible.

3. SMART Phone Contact

After several safe email exchanges, you can cautiously move to the next Internet courtship level. Arrange time to speak on the phone and see if the conversation flows or is a struggle.

Because you are still dealing with a virtual stranger, you should use safety guidelines for connecting on the phone. First, if you are a woman, ask for the guy’s phone number and use Caller ID blocking (*67) when you call him so that your phone number is not revealed. You can even use Caller ID blocking on most cell phones so always try using *67 when placing first calls.

If you get to the point where you are comfortable giving out your phone number, use a cell phone or alternate number to your home phone. If someone is really creepy and has your home or work phone number, they can search for your address online using whitepages.com.

Trust your gut instincts when you talk to someone on the phone. If someone makes you feel the least bit uneasy or puts you off in any way, just say Next. It won’t get better if you meet in person. Remember there are plenty of other candidates out there. Next….

4. Continue to Put “Safety First” When Making Live Contact

When you decide to meet in person, pick a public place and make sure you are familiar with the area before you agree to the location (I skipped this research step and ended up meeting a guy in a restaurant that is in a Los Angeles gang neighborhood because I did not know the area – that mistake did not happen twice).

While you want to relax and have fun on your first date, you still need to play it safe. Meet your potential match at the rendezvous location–never rely on someone you don’t know for a ride. Don’t even accept a ride home even when you feel as though your date is on the up and up. If you drove, you also want to avoid allowing them to walk you to your car. It’s best to even keep the make, model and license plate of your car a secret.

My favorite meeting place is a local coffee shop, but not one too close to your home. If you schedule a lunch or dinner date, use valet parking when possible so that the candidate, who is primarily a stranger at this stage, cannot follow you to your car when you leave.

As a back-up plan, you may also want to give your date details (time, date and location) to a friend. If you are nervous, ask a friend to call you on your cell phone to check-in during the date.

Lastly, hold your cards close to your chest. Be careful about the amount of information you share during these first meetings and phone calls. Never give out your last name or address until you are comfortable with someone’s character.

5. Consider Background Checks

If you are curious, there are many ways to find out more about your potential mates. Internet search vehicles can help you find out details about candidates prior to meetings.

By searching on someone’s name online, you can easily gather information about their background. For example, if you use Google.com, you might find out about their educational degrees, work history, and personal information (I found out about someone’s marriage history and read a strange Valentine online from a guy’s ex-wife that made me think twice).

You can also click on the “Groups” button to learn more about their interests or check genealogy sites for family history. And if you get serious with someone you meet online, you can even go to the extreme of hiring a professional investigator to check out their history more thoroughly.

You can make love happen online and protect your privacy. You are playing the dating numbers game and the odds are in your favor that you will find your match. Be smart, safe and trust your gut instincts when dating online.

For more information about Internet dating tips or for coaching, check out Liz’s SMART Dating Packages on LookBetterOnline.com or pick up a copy of SMART Man Hunting (http://www.smartmanhunting.com)

Happy Hunting!

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

How to flirt online: 3 success keys and 10 email enticers

Are you ready to jump into the online dating game? With 50 million active subscribers to dating services in the U.S., you just can’t overlook this opportunity if you are single.

Once you enter this wide web of daters, what can you write in emails to entice your top picks to share coffee talk with you? What are the secrets to flirting online?

When jumping online, use these 3 Online Flirting Success Keys and 10 Email Enticers that can help you get to first dates faster.

These advice tips are based on hundreds of interviews with active internet daters for my book, SMART Man Hunting -How to Get Out There, Get Dates, and Get Mr. Right (or Ms. Right).

3 Online Flirting Success Keys:

  1. Keep it Simple: Use light-hearted emails with an upbeat tone to attract dates online. A 40-something female painter shared, ” Make your responses simple and use easy questions in your emails to flirt.” There is no need for long emails either. A 42-year-old Accountant told me, “I can tell if I am interested in 3-4 sentences.”
  2. Humor is your Ally: A 35-year-old male film editor from Baltimore told me, “It depends on the person. You need to be able to read the person to tell what kind of humor you can get away with. Humor is definitely sexy and so is confidence because girls pick that up.”
  3. Hand out Compliments: One of the best ways to flirt online is to extend a sincere compliment. One 28-year-old Financial Analyst told me, “I always try to say something subtle, but sincere.” You might say to someone who plays the guitar, “I think it is awesome that you play guitar.” She added, “Be sincere and don’t throw out phony baloney.”

10 Email Enticers

Try these 10 Email Enticers that can help you ignite sparks online in your emails. Your goal should be to get a first date fast. Keep it light and inviting:

  1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?
  2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?
  3. What is your favorite thing to do on a Sunday with a date for fun?
  4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?
  5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?
  6. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
  7. What is your favorite romantic comedy movie? Why?
  8. How long have you been sailing? (ask about something in their profile).
  9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (compliment something in their photograph).
  10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

Have some fun using humor and keep it simple when using these email enticers to flirt online. You will have better luck using levity and sincere compliments.

If your gut is not good, move on after a few email exchanges. You don’t want to spend too much time online because you really can’t gauge the chemistry until the first date. After three email exchanges, if a guy is not talking about a first date, just say Next!

For more internet dating advice, you can read about how to find the quality in the flood of emails, protect your privacy with safety tips and learn from he said/she said success stories in SMART Man Hunting.

Happy Hunting!

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!

10 Ways to boost your confidence sex appeal

Confidence is everything in the dating game – so if you want to attract many dates and find the right mate, be open-minded to giving yourself a Confidence Face Lift. As a Dating Coach and Author of SMART Man Hunting (http://www.smartmanhunting.com), my goal is to help you beam with confidence sex appeal.

While confidence comes from within, Lookbetteronline.com can help you let it shine online in your photos and profile. By putting your best face online, you will also feel more confident about your presentation.

The results will show in the positive tone of your emails and phone calls, along with helping you attract dates with your top picks.

Why is confidence so important?

One 35-year-old lawyer told me, “A woman who carries herself well is 10 times more attractive to me.” Another 30-something TV Producer shared, “My Mr. Wonderful is really confident in himself and it’s something that I just pick up on.”

Confidence:

  • Is SMART and Sexy!
  • Lets dates know you like yourself and won’t put up with nonsense
  • Means you know there are many singles who are anxious to go out with you – which only makes you more attractive
  • Is when you take rejection lightly and not personally
  • Allows you to relax and enjoy the dating process
  • Makes it clear that you are not desperate – the date killer
  • Makes dating fun
  • Means you’re happy with yourself, your looks and your life

Here are 10 confidence boosters that can significantly increase your dating numbers, ego and odds of finding your mate:

10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence Sex Appeal:

  1. Recognize that you are a Hot Ticket – Start believing that you deserve only the best!
  2. Pamper Yourself – Take care of your body with makeovers, nails, new hair, and new styles – ask your friends for tips that will make you feel better about you.
  3. Treat Yourself Better – Are you eating, sleeping and exercising enough?
  4. Surround Yourself with Positive People – Find friends who are cheerleaders and make you feel good inside.
  5. Define Your Own Sexy – Don’t dress to play a part. Dress in what makes you feel sexy.
  6. Jump into your Passions – Make time for things that you love to do. You will plant a more natural smile on your face and draw the right dates.
  7. Try Something New – Try yoga, horseback riding or take a ski lesson to expand your world!
  8. Follow a No Bull Policy – Be decisive and know that you can take it or leave it. If a date doesn’t fit right, just say Next!
  9. Go After Your Dreams – Think outside your home box of possibilities and aim high with your dreams! By going after your passions, you will feel good inside.
  10. Create a Dating Plan – The more you date, the more confident you will be. One book fan in Los Angeles told me, “You’ve given me so much more confidence about dating. You got me to practice and now I found a great guy who just gets me.” And let Lookbetteronline.com help you with your photos, profile and dating coaching services.

You can do it too. Be brave. Be bold – and remember to let that confidence sex appeal shine online and offline!

Happy Hunting!

Dating online? The most important thing you need to know…

Having a great photo is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!