Online dating can be a big challenge if you are a woman and you are 40 years old or older.
USA today says that “Of almost 127 million Americans age 40 and over, more than a third are unattached (Divorced, widowed or never married).
Of these singles, more than 25 million are women, as you can imagine we’re seeing a surge in dating for women over 40.
For some online dating a scary journey
Many of these women say “I feel like I’m 19 years old again”, “I feel unprepared for dating after so many years of marriage” and “I feel that I don’t know the rules of dating anymore since its changed so much since I was in my twenties”, and with a massive increase in online dating, new dating books and advice from the new gurus many of these women feel confused and at a loss for words.
So, here are some tips for those of you who are just getting out of a bad marriage and haven’t got a clue, the good news is that while many of the rules of dating have changed since the last time you dated that some of the important stuff about dating you learned is timeless!
Rule#1 Just because you’re 40 or over doesn’t mean you can’t have Fun!
Most people are dating online because they want to attract the love of their life and that’s great – but we recommend that you don’t make that your primary goal for online dating. Don’t get us wrong, we are confident that you will inevitably attract the love of your life but this is a process that has to unfold naturally and can take days, weeks, or months. The danger is, if you try to rush the process you’re almost guaranteed to have a horrible online dating experience.
If you are honestly having fun with the process, then you literally won’t care about or even notice how long it is taking to attract the person of your dreams. And ironically, you will actually be able to attract that special person much faster and much easier. So we strongly recommend that you take your time and have fun with your online dating experience. The next big question is, “who is responsible for your fun?”
Take responsibility for your own fun:
When you go on a date, odds are you believe it’s the other person’s responsibility to make sure that “you” have a good time (no pressure there…LOL). This is a very common perspective amongst most online daters, and it is also one of the most guaranteed ways to ensure that you’ll have a horrible dating experience.
Truth is; no one is responsible for you having fun except for you! This is one of the secrets that all successful online daters live by. They always take responsibility for their own fun, thus ensuring that they will always have a great dating experience, regardless if they have romantic chemistry with their date or not.
By taking responsibility for your own fun you will also take the pressure off of your date – and you will inspire them to take responsibility for their own fun as well. This will dramatically increase your odds of getting a second date that may eventually turn into a love connection. But once again, even if there is no romantic chemistry you will both still walk away feeling great and thinking “wow, I had a really great time. Below are tips that can help you create your own fun while dating online.
Tips to creating your own fun while online dating…
- Make sure that you are in a fun, upbeat and positive mood before you show up for your date.
- In the beginning of the date let the other person know that you want to have fun – and agree to only talk about fun, positive and uplifting topics.
- Even if there is no romantic chemistry with your date, find things to appreciate like; your surroundings, your food, your dates cologne or perfume, etc.
Rule#2 You are probably more comfortable in your own skin than your younger counterparts
Self confidence in a woman is a big turn on, most men appreciate a woman who is not a shrinking violet, so show confidence, you are probably more comfortable in your own skin than your younger counterparts.. Don’t be afraid to let your humor and intelligence show.
And don’t think “How in the world am I going to compete with some “Perky-boobed 24-year-old”, yes, some men are looking for younger women. But those are not the ones you want
to date. And Besides, trying to look or act younger than you are looks and feels needy, remember unlike “Pert-boobed-Barbie” You know who you are and as a woman over 40 you’re not looking for a man to define you.
Also you’re also probably more comfortable with sex than many young women are (women in their 40s have far fewer hang-ups about sex)
Rule#3 Just because you’re 40 or over doesn’t mean you can’t be open!
When many people over 40 go on online dates their natural tendency is to go into it being very closed and guarded, this is often the case for nervous people who’ve just got back in the dating game after years of marriage!. They do this for a number of reasons; sometimes they are afraid to make themselves vulnerable because they don’t want to get hurt again after a painful divorce; sometimes they are afraid that they may say or reveal something that will turn their date off and scare them away; and sometimes they are just nervous and don’t know what to say or do. Being closed and guarded is also one of the most guaranteed ways to ensure that you’ll have a disappointing dating experience no matter what your age is. If you want to have a wonderful and successful online dating experience that you must open up and make yourself vulnerable on dates. (and yes I did say vulnerable!)
Think of yourself as a wonderful and entertaining book with pages and pages of interesting experiences, ideas, and dreams. But if you only show your date the cover of your book and prevent them from experiencing the wonderful content inside… they will get bored and put you back on the shelf.
And if you don’t let them read your book, than odds are they will not reveal the inside of their wonderful book to you either… and they will get bored and put you back on the shelf as well. Everybody loses!
When you are on an date don’t be afraid to open up and make yourself vulnerable. Let your date see what’s inside of you and show him / her who you really are right from the beginning. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not and don’t try to be politically correct. Be genuine, be yourself, and be an open book.
When you are your authentic self that’s when you are the most fun to yourself… as well as to others. This will make your date feel at ease and will encourage them to be their authentic self as well. And even if there is no romantic chemistry between you and your date, at least you will both still have an enjoyable time.
What if they don’t like your book?
If you make yourself open & vulnerable and your date dislikes what they see than don’t take it personally. That simply means that they are not the one for you, and that’s okay. Continue to make yourself open & vulnerable because it’s only a matter of time before you attract online dates that will love and appreciate the authentic you (including your Mr. / Mrs. Right.). And trust us you’ll be glad you did. Below are a few tips that can help:
Tips to help you remain open when online dating…
- Remember that you are being open in-order to ensure that you can be yourself and have a good time.
- If your date is not into you that’s okay, because you would not have been a good match anyway (they did you a favor).
- If you open up you will inspire your date to do the same.
- Remaining open will enable your perfect partner to be able to immediately identify and find you.
Online dating? The most important thing you need to know…
Having great profile photos is the single most important thing you can do when dating online, so visit LookBetterOnline and find out why more than 98% of our customers get better dates, and see how we can help make your online dating experience successful and more fun than you thought possible!
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